Does it bother you that your wife masturbates?

SimplyAmorous · 06-19-2012, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ano

We have all these threads of us wives being hurt/upset that our husbands masturbate frequently to porn. But what if we did it too? Would it bother you hubbys?.....even though you're doing it as well?

It wouldn't bother my husband so long as I wasn't neglecting his needs but in the past... I was ....and I was secretly masterbating too.

Our story was the total reverse of the norm... I learned 3 yrs ago ....He never masterbated while married (but 1 time in hopes of depleting his sperm count to conceive a girl later that night -which we did ironically)... he felt it was "cheating" (his words not mine)... then I had to tell him I was a "cheater" then.... as I was off masterbating in the middle of the night sometimes -cause I felt he wouldn't want woke up...(half the time I woke him up, half the time I didn't)...it was my little dirty secret I guess. He is the type who needs his sleep.

He told me waking him up for that would be like waking him up to tell me the house was on fire, ha ha .... loved that comment. His point, I should have bothered him every single time.

Meanwhile he was silently suffering wanting more from me....and I never really KNEW the depths of that ....so He was Shocked I DID... and I was shocked he DIDN'T.

We missed each other pathetically.

Lesson here.. talk openly about SEX! I felt everything was taboo, huge mistake.

SO now, we both prefer we wait for each other, the waiting is just a day, maybe 2 ......For both of us, there is no comparison on this green earth....We both thrive on the romantic connection.

At least we are on the same page in this.

Once night when my drive was raging, we just had sex, I put in some porn, he was asleep beside me, I got aroused again, had some fun with that, I told him the next morning... he just laughed- it didn't bother him....he just told me he wished he could have given it to me again...but some things are just asking a little much at his age.

bubbly girl · 06-19-2012, 09:02 PM

My husband gets turned on by it. I'm sure if I was denying him sex, he wouldn't be as thrilled about it, but that's not the case. The more sex he wants, the less need I have to take care of myself. He also loves if I put on a show for him.

anchorwatch · 06-20-2012, 06:02 AM

Lets just imagine that she does. Then imagine I know. Then I could imagine I wouldn't be bothered by it.

Ryan_sa · 06-21-2012, 02:59 PM

I agree if shes masturbating, and not having sex with me, I'd have a problem.However the way things are in our relationship (pretty good) I have absolutely no trouble, in fact I encourage it because maybe she'll be able to discover more about her sexuality, which would benefit me in the long run.

diwali123 · 06-21-2012, 03:29 PM

My h is bothered by it. He is the LD and his drive has gone way down. I think it is a control issue. He says it makes him feel like he's letting me down. Well guess what, he's letting me down whether I do it or not. I'm still horny whether I do that or not.
We are in therapy with a sex therapist because of it. He says it's not because he's afraid I'm thinking about someone else, he's not jealous of toys, he just doesn't want to know I'm doing it.
Hopefully therapy will help.
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tinbanger · 06-21-2012, 05:02 PM

I'm in the camp of "I have no problem with it, as long as she isn't neglecting my needs". A while back we even had a discussion about this, and I told her what a huge turn-on it was for me.

Unfortunately right now my needs are being neglected, and I have my suspicions that she's taking care of herself after we've gone to bed. Stealth masturbating, you might say. I've been trying to catch her in the act (so that she can't deny it), but nothing so far.

Goldmember357 · 06-30-2012, 11:26 PM

my wife is hurt when i look at porn i dont look at porn anymore but it bothered her when i looked and masturbated to porn. If she where to look and masturbate to porn she would be a hypocrite and yes it would bother me. However if she masturbates without porn that does not bother me i dont look at porn anymore and i would be a little weird-ed out of she did the very same thing and was getting off to other men.

However i know she masturbates from time to time i have caught her masturbating before it was so hot. I dont think she does it as often as i do since she has told me she only does it when she goes without sex and i am not around.

donny64 · 06-30-2012, 11:39 PM

Not at all does it bother me. But we have a great sex life, so why should it? In fact, she does it more now she says than at any time in her life because of the great sex we have.

The thought of it turns me on incredibly. And she often tells me when she does do it when I'm not there. And she feels free to do it with me there (though that doesn't happen a lot). If I get her going down that road though, and she knows I want to see it, she'll get to handling herself while I do the same.

I'm in the camp that believes masturbation for a female does not detract from sex with their man. My gawd, the W and I go at it pretty good 2 to 3 times a week. And she is VERY into it and often initiates. If she stops having sex with me, the problem is going to be more than her masturbating. If she has to hold out from doing that just to get horny enough to have sex with me, we have much deeper issues than her masturbating.

Stonewall · 07-01-2012, 07:38 AM

not at all. In fact II wish she did it ore often. I think its hot!
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Caribbean Man · 07-01-2012, 07:44 AM

No it would not.
Sounds good to me!

Randy52 · 07-02-2012, 08:30 AM

I have absolutely no problem with it. My wife and I openly masturbate in front of each other AND sometimes in private. Many times after beginning solo, it finishes as a "shared" activity. :-)

deejov · 07-02-2012, 09:02 AM

So I will the only one to admit this?
Probably because the LD wives not wanting sex with their husbands aren't really posting here....

But there is nothing wrong with my drive. It's just not tuned to my stbxh. Hasn't been for a long time.

He might think I have no sex drive. Or no passion. But it's there... when I get time to myself and he isn't around.

And I can't imagine I'm the ONLY woman who feels this way.

Maybe for a woman.... IF there isn't an emotional connection in the relationship, sex might go off the table. A woman's sex drive usually declines when she isn't having regular sex, but it can turn to masturbation instead.

It's not something we talk about at tea, either.

effess · 07-02-2012, 06:23 PM

In my situation it would bother me. But that is unique to me (very LD wife, HD husband/me - she has a big problem with porn).

If my wife had a more healthy active sex drive and it she didn't use the porn to replace me or compare me to the d-bags in those videos, I might not mind so much. Basically, if she used the porn as charcoal lighter and thats all. I probably wouldn't have a issue with it, however, I don't have the greatest self-esteem, so Im sure I would feel somewhat threatened.

Runs like Dog · 07-02-2012, 06:25 PM

I wish my wife would masturbate furiously, noisily.

donny64 · 07-04-2012, 02:56 AM

Perfect example tonight of why it does not bother me. Haven't seen her for a couple days. She tells me tonight that she "couldn't wait", got horny, and "had to rub one out" today. Told her I wanted her to show me what she did. After a little teasing on the couch, she proceeded to do so for me. Then we went to bed and had incredible sex.

I could care less if she's doing it 3 times a day as long as it's not taking away from us. I know her, and the more she does it is usally a result of her being so turned on by our sex, and not out of frustration or lack of desire to have sex with me. So, for me, the "more the merrier" if she wants to masturbate. Her sex drive with me is very high, and I love it.