NMMNG - Sharing with your wife... - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-18-2012, 09:17 AM Thread Starter
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NMMNG - Sharing with your wife...

I know the general consensus is not to share it... for those that have, what was the response and ultimate outcome?
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-18-2012, 09:34 AM
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Re: NMMNG - Sharing with your wife...

I didn't share anything about the book or any specifics. I did share that I believed she had walked all over me for the past 10 years, that it was my fault for letting her, and that I wouldn't be letting her anymore. And I shared that there would be other changes, again without specifics. I didn't really set out to tell her. But there have been a lot of discussions lately about a lot of things in out lives, and it just came up naturally.

I think one reason I haven't gotten more pushback or fitness testing from her (although there has been some) is that she's in favor of the changes. Had I just started bumping back w/o telling her I think she would have gone ballistic. It may take longer for her to feel the changes and believe they're real the way I did it I think. And she'll be watching me more closely to see if I really do what I say I'll do. But that's ok. This is about me, not her. Remember that.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-18-2012, 10:09 AM
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Re: NMMNG - Sharing with your wife...

It was a positive experience for me to share it. The real key behind sharing or not sharing has to do with your motivation. It generally isn’t recommended because as a NG, you are looking to please. So, you share hoping for some response out of her. You’ll mess with the program too based on her comments and concerns. All because you are still trying to ‘nice’ your way back into her heart and fear her reactions.

This wasn’t my case at all. I was done with her and doing it entirely for myself. I shared because in my warped mind, if this stuff worked on a person who actively was continuing to try and destroy me, it’d serve me well when I left.

Why it was so positive? There is a whole philosophy in there about your mental approach to issues. By sharing what I was going through and my wife being able to see results... it also planted the seeds in her head. I saw her adopting some of it, and some light bulbs click off in her head. So, she started changing as well.... and I haven’t left.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-18-2012, 10:13 AM
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Re: NMMNG - Sharing with your wife...

Same as this forum.

Didn't share it, didn't hide it, don't care if she finds it.

Her responce is hers. It doesn't matter what the ultimate outcome from her is, it's about me.

The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?

OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-18-2012, 11:02 AM
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Re: NMMNG - Sharing with your wife...

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Originally Posted by Racer View Post
I saw her adopting some of it, and some light bulbs click off in her head. So, she started changing as well.... and I haven’t left.
+1

My relationship with my wife was pretty good to start and she has loved the changes I have made as a result of NMMNG.

If you are in a very contentious relationship, I would not share. If your wife is open and willing to do her own work, the book will help both of you.
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-18-2012, 01:48 PM
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Re: NMMNG - Sharing with your wife...

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Originally Posted by FormerNiceGuy View Post
+1

My relationship with my wife was pretty good to start and she has loved the changes I have made as a result of NMMNG.

If you are in a very contentious relationship, I would not share. If your wife is open and willing to do her own work, the book will help both of you.
Totally agree. Sharing will be dependent upon your situation and the type of woman your wife is. If she’s a total ass, don’t share. If she’s enlightened and has your interests at heart, share.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-18-2012, 01:57 PM
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Re: NMMNG - Sharing with your wife...

since the swinging threads have been prevalent again recently I read this title as NMMNG: Sharing your wife

I thought that seemed odd

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