Every man I've had a serious relationship with has done this. We have a problem like needing to manage our money better. He keeps talking about it but never does anything. I offer a solution like joining mint or setting up online bill pay. Guy gets mad and says he doesn't want to do it for what I think are petty reasons.
Maybe it's just me and the way I approach problems. I just feel like if you aren't going to do anything about it them you should be open indeed when I at least try to offer a solution instead of getting grumpy about it.
Sometimes I think men would rather have something to complain about than see their wife solve an issue! Posted via Mobile Device
__________________ The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?
OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.
I've not that that trouble with my husband...other than our payment to the IRS. I just told him I'd nag him until he does it (i never nag). LOL it was done that day...cause he knows I would have been obnoxious about it.
I don't eff with the IRS.
But for bills and daily stuff, he takes care of his crap, and I take care of mine (a split we agreed upon).
I never ever never ever mixed money or bills with any other relationship.
I don't have that problem at all.
My wife and I both "manage" our money, set budgets, decide what to save and spend, etc, etc.
She does most of the bill paying since I am gone half the time, but I know what is spent where.
I think you are attracted to poor money managers...
Every man I've had a serious relationship with has done this. We have a problem like needing to manage our money better. He keeps talking about it but never does anything. I offer a solution like joining mint or setting up online bill pay. Guy gets mad and says he doesn't want to do it for what I think are petty reasons.
Maybe it's just me and the way I approach problems. I just feel like if you aren't going to do anything about it them you should be open indeed when I at least try to offer a solution instead of getting grumpy about it.
Sometimes I think men would rather have something to complain about than see their wife solve an issue! Posted via Mobile Device
You take the colour of a few men and paint all men with it. You might want to stop doing that so you can see each of us as the unique individual we are. At the moment you are not seeing the uniquely individual men in front of you. What you are seeing is men all of the same colour, the colour you painted them with your brush.
In my case. our " recurrent expenditure " aka BILLS are huge. [ Because we own a business ]. So I generally handle everything. Sometimes I just cannot be bothered with minors like cable bills ,domestic phone/internet bills and so on. So sometimes the company calls home to remind of an outstanding phone bill,she will get upset.
I usually say," I got this!"
Arguments start.
This is pure classic male shame. When you bring up a problem and offer a solution, you're implying he couldn't handle it so you have to. Even bringing up the problem itself without the solution will do that to some extent. It's shameful to him. Men actually feel shame physically. There is an actual release of cortisol in their system. By not doing anything about it, he's able to ignore the shame and avoid a shot of cortisol.
Figure out how to frame the issue in a way that he's able to be manly by figuring out the solution without admitting he was any part of the problem. lol
This is pure classic male shame. When you bring up a problem and offer a solution, you're implying he couldn't handle it so you have to. Even bringing up the problem itself without the solution will do that to some extent. It's shameful to him. Men actually feel shame physically. There is an actual release of cortisol in their system. By not doing anything about it, he's able to ignore the shame and avoid a shot of cortisol.
Figure out how to frame the issue in a way that he's able to be manly by figuring out the solution without admitting he was any part of the problem. lol
Yes, it's ridiculous but that's how we men work.
Not all men! This one gladly accepts any ideas given for any problem at hand as I for one certainly don’t think I have all the answers.
That’s all I see it as, an alternative solution to a problem from someone else. If it’s better than mine, I go with it. If it’s not as good as my solution, I go with mine.
Whatever I go with, whoever’s solution, the responsibility for the outcome is totally mine! I’ve always lived that way.
Not all men! This one gladly accepts any ideas given for any problem at hand as I for one certainly don’t think I have all the answers.
That’s all I see it as, an alternative solution to a problem from someone else. If it’s better than mine, I go with it. If it’s not as good as my solution, I go with mine.
Whatever I go with, whoever’s solution, the responsibility for the outcome is totally mine! I’ve always lived that way.
Heh, ok then. Specifically men who shut down when a problem is brought up by their women. Nine times out of ten this is the isue.
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Guys why do you do this? 
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