Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
Re: My Wife Thinks I am Lying, When I am Not!!!
If you have not done anything to merit her suspicion--and I mean ANYTHING, even a little white lie to keep the peace, then you must refuse to get dragged into this conflict. Never, ever, tell a lie just to keep the peace; it proves you ARE a liar.
If you have done that, then start a "total honesty policy" NOW. Tell her what you have lied about in the past and why (if it was to avoid conflict, for example). Tell her you will NEVER do it again, that you will face the conflict or whatever consequences of telling the truth may be.
Also tell her you will answer such questions truthfully and ONCE, and only once. Stick to your guns, and remind her "I've answered that question."
Now, if you WERE dishonest on any level in the past, you need to suck it up and EARN HER TRUST back. The only way is full disclosure for as long as it takes (again, each conversation/reply is given once, and only once but there may be MANY times you have to disclose/reply to different questions).
If you have always been totally honest with her--and I mean ALWAYS--then you need to get some counseling together, and maybe individually for one or both of you, too. Don't let this ruin your relationship. She may have issues about trust that have nothing to do with you, which she needs to work on, but it is also worth some joint counseling so you can respond appropriately.
Be very clear in your own head: has she ever caught you in a lie? Have you ever answered her question partially (ie, "lying by omission") and she found out? These can tear apart trust (your problem), and she may be insecure enough (her problem) to need help getting back to that trust.