football

I've been with my wife for many years. We are comfortable together. Sexually we are not a great match. Sex life has been a roller coaster with her. More downs of late.

I have been completely faithful to her. A few women have come on to me over the years but I always make it clear that I am not interested. I have really not flirted with women in 15 years.

So it was quite the shock for me recently when a woman struck up a conversation and I was instantly riveted. I felt a connection with her on a level that I have not experienced with anyone - ever. It's as though connecting with her released a component of my being that had been suppressed my entire life. It's madness, I know.

I have not talked to the other woman about it. I'm very torn. But if I never talk to her again, I feel like I am denying myself real fulfillment of a sort that makes me a much better and happier person.

resetbuttonpushed

If you are married you are entering dangerous territory. You need to figure out a way to get that side out with your wife.

football

It is dangerous territory. Risky in terms of my marriage. But there is risk on the other side too - risk of walking away from something potentially very meaningful. Am I supposed to put marriage ahead of consciousness, happiness, and fulfillment? Before I met this other woman, I kind of knew I was compromising in some ways - but I had basically just resigned myself to it. I had no intention of ever seeking anything else.

I have never believed in "fate" or "meant to be" or "soulmates"... but there is something profound about my connection with this woman. It's not something I can put into words. How can I put something into words that I have never experienced and never believed to be possible?

anchorwatch

What part of married don't you understand?

Accipiter777

Stay away from her..... VERY dangerous place your in....

Mime

Lol! What a lot of self-serving rubbish!!!


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football

Exactly what I would have said before I met her.

karma*girl

I may sound 'new agey' here, but I don't care.

Stop for a moment & understand that people & circumstances come to us for reasons that we sometimes cannot understand at first..emotions clouding judgement.

Because you are experiencing your 'downs' in your marriage right now, you're more vulnerable & seeing the situation for much more than it is.

This conversation you had with her & the feelings it brought up, are all clues that it's, no doubt, time that you figure out what you're missing in your relationship...

People come into our lives to teach us things- this other woman is present in your life first because you're allowing her to be, (which btw, isn't contributing to a marriage upswing anytime soon..)
and because it's a test for you..once you figure out what you need to do, she will move on & rightfully so.

The purpose of her is to blatantly show you what your marriage needs in order to be fulfilling.. It is so striking to you because someone somewhere is yelling at you trying to get you to pay attention to your real relationship. Listen & be open to what the lesson is here.

Take a minute to reflect on why you believe she is better for you than your wife & use that knowledge & energy in a positive way. Redirect it back into your marriage & figure things out together.
Chances are, if you are having doubts, she is very aware of it.. she cannot be happy with you right now.

Your wife is your priority. She deserves to know her marriage is probably not what she thinks it is.
Be a man & make it right.

Best of Luck!
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Mime

Well, keep saying it.

You're kidding yourself. Trying to talk yourself into getting a bit on the side. Trying to make it seem "necessary".

A clued-up bloke would see that.

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football

Mime is going to drive me to divorce.

karma*girl

..noone can do that but you.
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football

That's true, karma*girl. Thanks for post #8 above.

Bottled Up

You should ask your wife for an open marriage so you can get a green light to go fulfill your fantasies while still enjoying the comforts of a stable home life that she can provide for you.
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Goldmember357

if you feel you will cheat its best to divorce your wife let her know than move on to this other woman or another.

Don't cheat

Your wife has a right to know if you are not longer interested be honest with yourself and her.


I am not in the crowd that tries to save marriages that cannot be saved as i feel no marriage can be truly saved if one person wants out or is hesitant about the marriage or questions it.

As You Wish

Tell your wife this: and if she says "go for it, honey! I want nothing but your happiness!" then you know you're good to go.

If she says anything else, then it's pretty much confirmed that you lose.