I was thinking about this in my next relationship, that I want to be pursued. With my marriage, and my two girlfriends prior to that I was the one that did the chasing.
Now I'm not talking about playing games, but it would be nice for the woman to be the one to really win me over.
No games in a loving relationship. Flirting is one thing, but seriously, do you think you should NOT fulfill the promise of the flirting? Flirting is intended to arouse, and to arouse without delivering (in a committed relationship) is the opposite of loving. The real trick is in knowing how long you can flirt and draw out the arousal stage--but guys are pretty good about making that end point obvious (ha, no pun intended).
definately no games! ( i meant strictly for each other) sorta like teasing maybe just in the way you dress or how you give the last look to your man walking out the door. but flirting i have read is good for people?, my boyfriend says being too friendly is flirting? what!?
makes me feel wanted and sexy, makes me want to give more than i could ever want to give to someone else. just wish a certain someone (bf) would do it. i do.
BK,
There are a large number of men who cannot distinguish between "friendliness" and sexual interest. Those men will interpret you being friendly, as you wanting to date them. Once, 20 years ago, a steroidal ape named Harlan, started talking to my wife at the health club we belonged to. He took her friendly response as interest. And his behavior rapidly became stalkerish. I followed him into the mens room and told him to stay the fvck away from her - I was really, really angry - and he got that and backed up. Still ugly situation - and no I am not a jealous guy, that's the only time in 23 years I have done anything like that. So yes - as the female it is your job not to create situations where other men get "confused" about what you want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkaydezz
definately no games! ( i meant strictly for each other) sorta like teasing maybe just in the way you dress or how you give the last look to your man walking out the door. but flirting i have read is good for people?, my boyfriend says being too friendly is flirting? what!?
You can and should tease him on your way out the door and he should rip your clothes off when you get home that night.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkaydezz
definately no games! ( i meant strictly for each other) sorta like teasing maybe just in the way you dress or how you give the last look to your man walking out the door. but flirting i have read is good for people?, my boyfriend says being too friendly is flirting? what!?
Keeps him engaged. Keeps him busy. Burns up excess testosterone. Activates primal dna.
A lot of men are confused in the modern age. They try to do the right thing but they get a lot of conflicting messages. It's very helpful to make sure your message gets heard by the right person
I don’t mind the pursuit.. Actually I sort of like it. However, when it becomes ‘my duty’ as spouse, that sucks. I mean it really sucks to essentially get in trouble because you didn’t pursue when she wanted to be pursued.
I’ll give you the long term results that should be obvious; The man ends up ‘only getting some’ when he pursues. This leads to feeling you are unwanted by your own wife, Afterall, if you don’t make any effort, she won’t exactly make efforts. So, trying to ‘get some’ from someone who doesn’t seem enthusiastic about your affections gets old. Less effort, more entitlement of just making it your duty. That attitude leads to more rejection. That reinforces the ‘I’m unwanted’ feelings. That leads to resentment and feelings of entitlement from both. That leads to the gatekeeper ‘pre-flight checklist’ and the male perspective of being “owed sex” because he ‘earned it’. Welcome the downward spiral where something is gonna break when it crashes: Porn, affairs, divorces, disrespectful behaviors, etc.
Basically, a woman should pursue if she wants to pursue. Why talk yourself out of it and what on earth do you think you are gaining from it?
definately no games! ( i meant strictly for each other) sorta like teasing maybe just in the way you dress or how you give the last look to your man walking out the door. but flirting i have read is good for people?, my boyfriend says being too friendly is flirting? what!?
to friendly is flirting avoid that especially if you are married.
But i would agree the man will want more and if she returns to some degree interest than he knows but if she gives him a little and he takes the rest knowing what he can get. That is the best feeling and you feel so accomplished knowing you got the GIRL.
I would say however in long term relationships and especially marriage the woman SHOULD chase the man back. I mean you are married dont always feel that you have to be conservative and let him take you. When married and as the years start to rack up i think most men would love for their wives to chase them (if you know what i mean).
It should go both ways in long term relationships or marriage imo
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No No Chase me! 
