He is very rarely not with me or at work and his work is in a manufacturing setting so unless he is sneaking off with a coworker (who are all men) I can't see it happening. Logistically speaking it would be very very very difficult, and probably too much effort for him since he knows I am okay with us doing all kinds of stuff (even a 3some if he wants)...with much less effort.
Well we do have women who come here and post that they have found out that their husbands are meeting up with men on their lunch breaks or on the way home from work for a quick bj or something like that (not to make you paranoid or anything).
The guy thing aside, he could be doing the same thing with meeting women from those ads on his luch break and or on the way to/from work. There are plenty of women who post or reply to those ads who only want quick hook-ups, no relationship.
My husband was meeting women on line and having sexting sessions with them. He had ads out as well. He had secret email accounts for communicating to them. The only way I found these things were with a keylogger.
My husband was meeting women on line and having sexting sessions with them. He had ads out as well. He had secret email accounts for communicating to them. The only way I found these things were with a keylogger.
Apparently she doesn't care if he does these things.
Well, the husband of my gf has some confidence issues, and she feels it is not a healthy way for him to feel like a "man", mainly because in her case it is opening the door to other options. Like sooner or later just chatting won't be enough, and he will progress to meeting someone. He needs to learn to like himself. He's trying. But still lying about being on websites.
If this was just porn magazines, he would not lie because they are more socially accepted. I feel like this type of sexual stimulation and validation is still new but that in a decade or so we will consider this kind of common (especially in the younger generations where they are growing up chatting). I want to just forget about it and let him do whatever it is he needs to do but I can't shake it Part of me feels like it is because I'm not good enough but I have seen that these ads were posted for a couple years before meeting me so it's obviously nothing to do with me.
The day it becomes socially acceptable to cheat on your spouse is the day I want out of society. Frankly, it's attitudes like yours that MAKE it socially acceptable.
To be honest I don't care much if he has a sexual affair if it is online. I've even told him I don't care if he sex chats as long as it isn't a replacement for me. But he still won't admit to it...I realize he may not believe I am being sincere and thinks I will get mad anyway.
People often think that because it's online it's impersonal and not real. This is not true.
Very often these unline affairs turn into real life affairs. I've seen cases of people leaving their spouse and children for someone they met online. This is someone that they never met in person. But the emotional attachment gets so strong that they leave their life for that person.
Much more common, especially if the online person is local, are quicky meetups to take the online affair into real life and to up the anty on the excitement.
EleGirl, I do indeed know this is all possible and have seen it happen with someone (not my relationship).
I have looked at further messages and I am confident that nothing has come of it. I have not used a keylogger but I am a computer person and he is not and I hacked all his accounts so...
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Anyway, back on topic: I don't want to spend this thread defending or trying to give reasons why he is not cheating. Sure maybe he is, that's not why I posted. I posted because I talked with a male friend about this and he had done the same thing (with no intention of cheating and did not cheat). I got his perspective about why he was doing it and am interested in hearing others. I know this is not as uncommon as it sounds. I think people are just too embarrassed to admit it.
He's hiding it and not going along with you saying it's okay because it crosses HIS personal boundary. He doesn't feel right about it. You have differing views on this being acceptable.
This is a good comment. Right. It doesn't matter what I say if he thinks it is wrong, then it is wrong and worthy of being hidden.
This is just hard for me because I'm a no secret kind of person. Like, from anyone. I'm totally open and honest always.
Well, you're probably one of the only people here who will define what he's doing as not cheating. Whatever. He most likely DOES define it as cheating, and is doing it because he's a cheater. Call it titillation, whatever, but if he's sex chatting with other women, you can bet that he wants to do it in person, he just hasn't got the guts yet.
The day it becomes socially acceptable to cheat on your spouse is the day I want out of society. Frankly, it's attitudes like yours that MAKE it socially acceptable.
I totally respect your opinion but as per my original post I'm not looking for replies like this...there is already quite a bit of literature and forum posts out there I could read with this line of thinking. I personally don't believe it is wrong. What I believe is wrong is hiding it, now it becomes a secret and it is wrong.
People often think that because it's online it's impersonal and not real. This is not true.
Very often these unline affairs turn into real life affairs. I've seen cases of people leaving their spouse and children for someone they met online. This is someone that they never met in person. But the emotional attachment gets so strong that they leave their life for that person.
Much more common, especially if the online person is local, are quicky meetups to take the online affair into real life and to up the anty on the excitement.
Ahhh yes, I guess that is definitely a situation where things can get bad. With him though it is multiple people, almost all strangers. He exchanges a few emails and then one or the other stops messaging. Then there is another post months later and a new slew of messages from different people. This is not a relationship that he is building with someone. That would definitely be a cause for concern for me.
I've done this... put an ad on a website looking for a date. Nothing sexual, just a no pic 2 paragraph bs one.
Not while I was married, though. When I was dating someone, and knew it was over, and I didn't want much to do with him. I broke up with him shortly afterwards.
I even stated "attached" in my profile.
I got a zillion emails. From married men looking to hook up. Long drawn out emails, pages long. My wife doesn't understand me. I just need someone to fulfill my fantasies.
And I will admit I left that ad up for a good month. I was sooo amazed by all the emails I got. And almost all of them asked the same question -- have you met anyone on here? They all claimed NO they hadn't. Most of them were too scared to make the next move, but were looking for someone who would "understand" what they were going thru and had experience with "how" to do this sort of thing.
Meh, I went to confession. I'm good with myself for what I did.
What if you went online and had an affair with him? Fastest way to find out if he's willing to meet!
What if you went online and had an affair with him? Fastest way to find out if he's willing to meet!
hahaha yes but then again he would probably be able to tell it was me. I could get someone else to maybe but honestly I don't believe that he is wanting to meet...I don't feel any need to try to prove this. Which shows me that I do actually believe he is faithful
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Re: He has sexual chat with other women 
Part of me feels like it is because I'm not good enough but I have seen that these ads were posted for a couple years before meeting me so it's obviously nothing to do with me.
