Mr Bixby

Hello all

I'm a newbie to the forums, but I have an issue or concern or I might be blowing this all out of wack.

But I was wondering how I would ask my wife if she is bicurious or bisexual without her blowing up, crying her eyes out or thinking I will judge her. I was hoping that someone else has had experience with this. I would like responses from both sides rather if its the men who asked the question or women who got asked by their men. I have asked her jokingly and she said no and that she's strickly ****ly, but shes the type that would hold the truth in order to not hurt anyone feelings or be afraid that I would judge her.

My reasoning for inquiring..we have been married for 10 yrs, 2 kids. She has a group of female friends 5 of them (all co-workers), out of the 5 my wife is the only one who is married or has a man as far as I know. 1 lady in the group is a Lesbian (been one for years) They all dont hang out all the time, but they do have lunch every other month or so. I understand the working relationship between my wife and the one who's a lesbian (we will call her "Bee"). They all recently went to Vegas together for one of the girls bday in the beginning of June. Since they have been back..my wife only talks to Bee when she's not around me. For instance, on her way home from work they talk for about 20min on (4 different occasions). When she volunteers to go to get something to eat alone..she calls her (on 3 different occasions) When they text each other, she delete the messages right away. and this is since June of this year?

Ive had suspicion before they all went on the trip, because my wife is all giddy when shes around Bee. And Bee is known to "Convert" women if thats possible. When I once joked with my wife about Bee liking her before they went on the trip..she got very offended, to me it was "too offended" like a guilt so to say.

I'm not really upset if she is bicurious or bisexual. But I would be more upset if she was hiding it..I am very open-minded so I dont fringe upon bisexuality/lesbian..etc. Do whatever makes you happy. But I dont want her to be emotionally supressed. But just want her to be honest when I ask her too. So any suggestions on how to ask my wife if she is curious or etc? I'm all open to suggestions.

Thanks in advance.

mina

all women are bi. the ones that say they aren't are just too uptight to admit it. yet.

kindi

I'd tell her that I've always had a fantasy about being with two bisexual women and that you think a woman who would be with a guy and another woman is the hottest freaking thing in the world.

If she asks you why you mentioned it out of the blue, have an answer ready

Shaggy

I think your real question is: are you either cheating or thinking of cheating with Bee
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Mr Bixby

No I need to know how to ask if she is bicurious/bisexual without sounding like I'm judging. She could have cheated with a man or a woman, so a "have u cheated" question is too general.
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Mr Bixby

Thanks for ur suggestions..@ Kindi I would have to have a good answer lol
@mina..I've always heard that!
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SprucHub

Mr. Bixby - has your sex life changed since the Vegas trip. I know it isn't an answer to your question, but maybe the answer is to discover whether she is without asking.

Her deleting texts and emails is a red flag, particularly if she had not done it before. If she has an iphone that synchs to a computer, you can see all her texts. There are a bunch of posts on this site that will instruct you how.

While it may be difficult to ask if she likes girls, it may be easier to ask why she likes this girl so much. Why there are so many texts and discussions.

You could go more extreme and put a voice activated recorder (VAR) in her car.

Mr Bixby

The crazy part is the sex has been better, more emotional, just the opposite of what I would expect
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Shaggy

Any change more or less can reflect something going on. The best way might be to use a VAR in her car an catch what they are talking about. It seems strange that coworkers woud be chatting on the phone in the car before and after work.
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SprucHub

Yup - change can be bad! What is the impetus for the change? Don't drive yourself crazy. Also realize, if you think something is going on - DO NOT ACUSE OR IMPLY WITHOUT PROOF. Because if something is going on, she'll deny and take it further underground, all the while accusing you of being "controlling" "obsessive" "deranged" "crazy".

Goldmember357

simple you ask her

"honey are you bi/bi-curious?"

Mr Bixby

@ Shaggy and Spruc that might be the route to go (VAR) but would it activate as soon as the radio came on? I'm just inquiring?
@ Gold..she would say no if she was or not, just because she would think that's the best thing to say
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Mr Bixby

U guys/gals are a big help.
Has anyone had experience with asking their "better-half"?
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lonesomegra

The first time my wife out of the blue started to suck my nipples I thought it strange and I took it as a sign that if she liked to suck my nipples then she also might like to suck a woman's nipples. I went the direct route and asked her straight out - 'would you ever like to fondle and kiss another woman's tits?' or words to that effect. She said no that she would not be comfortable being with a woman.

I would agree that certain women if pushed might go to the other side but there are a proportion that do not.

Bixby ask straight out 'do you like women sexually?'

Vizion

+1