07-30-2012, 11:02 AM
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: SE Wisconsin
| | Re: depressed, stressed and drunk
Dude, you are living in De Nile. You have minimalized what you did and then thrown everything else on your wife. And I suspect the counselor has called you on that--rather than the counselor saying "everything is your fault," said counselor is looking for you to understand that "most everything is at least partly your fault."
You expect your wife to feel better about herself when you were cheating and you have shown no understanding of how deeply damaging that is? You expect her to enjoy herself around YOUR friends, people who either don't know what you were up to or may have condoned it?
Get a grip. Face up to the fact that you may truly be "out of control" b/c you do not accept responsibility for what happens to you. You may say you accept responsibility, but that means squat if it is not followed up with behaviors designed to show your wife that you are truly remorseful for being a slimeball, talking to other women; behaviors designed to demonstrate your commitment to her and the marriage; and behaviors designed to show you are taking control of yourself.
You will feel better if you take these steps. It won't be easy at first, but you will know you are doing the right thing. You know when you are making excuses for yourself, and you will know when you have stopped making excuses and chosen to do the right thing. Good luck.