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Old 07-31-2012, 02:03 PM   #16 (permalink)
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It obviously bothers him. But he probably feels it will make him look weak if he expresses it, which is why he refused to answer your question. For me, I prefer to be the one to buy the toys. I suppose I would be ok with her buying a toy under certain circumstances. But if, for example, she bought a dildo that was much larger than me it would be pretty upsetting and disrespectful. But a toy that is primarily for clitoral stimulation I would be fine with.
My husband is well endowed. In fact when we don't have sex ..on my period for example...after its over and we have sex, if I go ontop, it actually hurts because it pokes me too deep. Same with doogy... but eventually I get used to it again.

If I waited for my husband to buy toys, it would never happen. We've been to a sex shop together like twice. I usually go with my girlfriends or my mom. He's just not adventurous.

I'm always looking for new ways to spice things up. After 5 years things get dull and sometimes you fall into a routine. I hate routines where as he is content with it. He doesn't like to put effort into it.

We had spoken about it so many times with no improvement. I even got to the point where I was totally honest with him and I told him that I did not enjoy our sex life and that it was just duty sex on my part because there was no connection. He got so lazy that he didn't even try to arouse me. Screw the foreplay, he just wanted to stick it in.

I'm sure I zapped his ego a bit with that. But he was not listening when I tried telling and begging him the nice way for months and months.

Since then he has made improvement and I definitely have made it a point to let him know how much I am enjoying him.
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Old 07-31-2012, 02:28 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?

Not a guy, but...

My husband has bought quite a few toys for me, and I have purchased quite a few for myself. You name it, it's in my toy box. lol

We have had a lot of conversations about the toys, and only once, early in our marriage, did he have a bad reaction to one of them. He was downright insulting about it actually, it was larger than him. After his reaction, I tried to always stick to toys that were much closer sized to him.

Fast forward more than a decade later...he described a toy he wanted me to go purchase, and it was certainly girthier and longer than any that I had ever purchased. I was surprised by it, and very cautious. But, once we used it in the bedroom a few times, and no bad reactions, I felt comfortable enough to talk to him about it and how his reaction made me feel so long ago. He admitted to me that when he was younger, he certainly had less confidence then when it came to things like that. Nowadays, the enjoyment is in blowing my mind and him knowing that he can do that. It makes no difference to him how he makes my toes curl. It's just a tool to get the job done! He said he even gets a kick out of watching said tools of various styles and sizes in action. It's stretchy btw...it bounces back to size, and I have amazing muscle control to boot

With all that being said, if he is good with using the toys during sex to assist...why not use them in the reverse order?! We do that all the time. He uses the toy on me to get there...and then to get me close to there again, and then he takes the helm himself! He gets excited and gets to anticipate, which makes it better for him, and by having a mostly clitoral orgasm for the first one, and then getting me close to a second one, when he takes over and we get in the right position, I can have a wonderful g-spot orgasm the second go around. And he knows, that is way more fun than any rabbit or any other vibe can do for me personally.
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Old 07-31-2012, 02:42 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?

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Though in the past 6 months we have had 2 separate occasions of ED, both times while switching positions. The first time I didn't say anything...and the 2nd time I burst into tears (I know bad idea..but I felt so unwanted..and I know that made the situation worse). I have noticed that now when we switch positions he is always stroking himself (he never did this before) and my guess is to make sure he stays hard cause he's so conscious of it. So I guess sex puts pressure on him.

But what I meant when he finishes me with my dildo is that he doesn't last very long. Never has and unfortianutly I don't think he ever will.
If you felt rejected from ED, think how he must feel. Even if it's three or four times a year, it can be devastating for some men. And now you're buying another vibrator (I'm guessing you didn't mention it to him before you ordered--that may be part of his anger too). It doesn't matter if you have plenty already. It only matters that you bought a new one. If he can't pleasure you enough by himself and the toys you already have, I can understand why he'd be upset.

If I were in your position, I don't know if I'd return it, but I'd definitely not bring it out (for anything--not sex or masturbation in private) until he's more comfortable with it being there.
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Old 07-31-2012, 02:59 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?

My wife has no problem with toys but won't buy them herself. If I order one, she's all for it. I just got the Wet Rabbit for her and a fleshlight for myself. Waiting until te weekend to break them out when we can have a few drinks and enjoy ourselves. I'm sure she'll think I'm a nut for mine, but why not? She can enjoy them and do can I.
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Old 07-31-2012, 03:16 PM   #20 (permalink)
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If you felt rejected from ED, think how he must feel. Even if it's three or four times a year, it can be devastating for some men. And now you're buying another vibrator (I'm guessing you didn't mention it to him before you ordered--that may be part of his anger too). It doesn't matter if you have plenty already. It only matters that you bought a new one. If he can't pleasure you enough by himself and the toys you already have, I can understand why he'd be upset.

If I were in your position, I don't know if I'd return it, but I'd definitely not bring it out (for anything--not sex or masturbation in private) until he's more comfortable with it being there.
No, he didn't know about it. I told him after I ordered it. But all the other sex toys weren't discussed before I bought them. I just buy them and show him what I got.

The toys I have are getting boring...so I wanted something new. Especially since lately he's been finishing me with a dildo quit often, which is fine with me, but I figured id purchase something better for this occasion.
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Old 07-31-2012, 03:17 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?

We use toys first. I get mine, and then he gets his...
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Old 07-31-2012, 03:26 PM   #22 (permalink)
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We use toys first. I get mine, and then he gets his...
This is a good idea. Since he doesn't last very long, we could start with toys until I'm close and then we can finish together.
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Old 07-31-2012, 06:58 PM   #23 (permalink)
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It seems you all have bought the sex toys for your wives. Have you ever looked at something and thought to yourself "I won't be purchasing that" because it maybe makes you feel that your wife may prefer it to you?

I have purchased every sex toy we own. I wouldn't call my husband very adventurous in that area. He won't go out a purchase one...but he is more then willing to use them.

I'm trying to figure out why every other sex toy we own, he has been fine with...but this one....he's being weird about.
No I am not the east intimidated by her toys or any that I have looked at. While I do have insecurities they have never been about any toys or any other person taking my place. Any insecurities I have are based in my on performance perfection expectations.
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Old 07-31-2012, 07:01 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?

the size of any toy she bought would not bother me. as long as it pleases her I am happy.
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Old 07-31-2012, 07:58 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?

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We have many toys and I have purchased them all. If she actually took it upon herself to order one I would love it!! Don't get me wrong, we have a good sex life, but she is not the one who usually thinks about things like that. I would love to come home and catch her using it. Mmmmm!

Ditto for my situation. Pretty much the same attitude as my wife.

I don't mind them. I think if it got to the point where she couldn't orgasm with me, I'd not like them so much. And this is why she doesn't want to use them too much.
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Old 07-31-2012, 09:24 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?

You name it I've bought it.........medium, big, OMG, over $1k only the best.

While it's always fun to add a little something.........she still says she prefers me and never uses anything unless we are together.
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Old 08-01-2012, 11:34 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?

WTF... So am i the only guy who hasn't got these toys? I never needed those. Guess i'm a weirdo or something
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Old 08-01-2012, 11:51 AM   #28 (permalink)
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WTF... So am i the only guy who hasn't got these toys? I never needed those. Guess i'm a weirdo or something
Lol oh come one! You've never thought about doing like double penetration to your wife?

Not like you and another man...but you and a dildo at the same time!?
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Old 08-01-2012, 11:53 AM   #29 (permalink)
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You name it I've bought it.........medium, big, OMG, over $1k only the best.

While it's always fun to add a little something.........she still says she prefers me and never uses anything unless we are together.
I do prefer my husband...

BUT...

I have to admit that since he's been finishing me quite frequently with a dildo lately....I am finding it harder to get off with him.
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Old 08-01-2012, 11:57 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?

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Lol oh come one! You've never thought about doing like double penetration to your wife?

Not like you and another man...but you and a dildo at the same time!?
Not really into that. So no...
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