Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?
My husband and I have used some toys for years so its nothing new. He even occasionally will finish me with my dildo if he can't hold up long enough till I get off.
Anyway, I've never owned the infamous Jack Rabbit...so I decided to order one.
I told my husband and his response was "what if I ordered a fake vagina"..... I said "well I did buy you a fake mouth" (years ago I bought him a jerk off toy that was in the shape of a mouth)
I told him that as long as he's still able to please me, I don't care what he does.
He said that its not fair because I can just pretend that I'm into it even if I'm not horny...where as he cant fake to be into it if he got caught up playing with himself to the point where he didn't want it or couldn't keep it up when I want it.
I asked him if it really bothered him that I ordered one. He said "you can do whatever you want to do". I told him that's not what I was asking, I was asking if it bothered him. He never did end up answering the question but I could tell he was uneasy about it.
Sex toys have never been an issue with us..so why is this one making him uneasy? I didn't mean to offend him and I didn't think it would offend him considering we already have vibrators and dildos.
Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?
Have absolutely no problem with it at all. Infact I bought all of the many toys she has. Id like to get her a sybian at some point but boy do they think a lot of those thiings. Posted via Mobile Device
Have absolutely no problem with it at all. Infact I bought all of the many toys she has. Id like to get her a sybian at some point but boy do they think a lot of those thiings. Posted via Mobile Device
The sybian looks amazing...but the price tag isnt so welcoming. Lol
We have many toys and I have purchased them all. If she actually took it upon herself to order one I would love it!! Don't get me wrong, we have a good sex life, but she is not the one who usually thinks about things like that. I would love to come home and catch her using it. Mmmmm!
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
It seems you all have bought the sex toys for your wives. Have you ever looked at something and thought to yourself "I won't be purchasing that" because it maybe makes you feel that your wife may prefer it to you?
I have purchased every sex toy we own. I wouldn't call my husband very adventurous in that area. He won't go out a purchase one...but he is more then willing to use them.
I'm trying to figure out why every other sex toy we own, he has been fine with...but this one....he's being weird about.
Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?
Two comments.
First, I would welcome my wife having any toys she wanted as long as they did not replace time with me. Using the toys during our lovemaking would be fine, too.
Second, perhaps this is more about his issues with staying hard long enough. As a man, it is devastating to the ego to not be able to stay hard. Once the difficulty starts during a lovemaking session, it puts a lot of stress and work on the situation to try to stay hard. My wife was very positive and supportive when I started having age related issues, but it was still a very difficult thing emotionally.
So perhaps your husband is reacting out of fears related to his own performance. He should see his doc for a good health screening because ED can be caused by things like heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, prostate disease, etc. He needs to be sure there isn't something serious going on. If his general health is ok, a light dose of one of the ED meds may be what he needs. The pills can be split into halves or even smaller. They sell little guillotine thingies at the pharmacy which do a nice job. I like Staxyn, which is a form of Levitra. It dissolves in the mouth and it takes effect in 12 minutes for me. So it can be taken on the spur of the moment without planning hours ahead.
First, I would welcome my wife having any toys she wanted as long as they did not replace time with me. Using the toys during our lovemaking would be fine, too.
Second, perhaps this is more about his issues with staying hard long enough. As a man, it is devastating to the ego to not be able to stay hard. Once the difficulty starts during a lovemaking session, it puts a lot of stress and work on the situation to try to stay hard. My wife was very positive and supportive when I started having age related issues, but it was still a very difficult thing emotionally.
So perhaps your husband is reacting out of fears related to his own performance. He should see his doc for a good health screening because ED can be caused by things like heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, prostate disease, etc. He needs to be sure there isn't something serious going on. If his general health is ok, a light dose of one of the ED meds may be what he needs. The pills can be split into halves or even smaller. They sell little guillotine thingies at the pharmacy which do a nice job. I like Staxyn, which is a form of Levitra. It dissolves in the mouth and it takes effect in 12 minutes for me. So it can be taken on the spur of the moment without planning hours ahead.
It isn't so much ED. Though in the past 6 months we have had 2 separate occasions of ED, both times while switching positions. The first time I didn't say anything...and the 2nd time I burst into tears (I know bad idea..but I felt so unwanted..and I know that made the situation worse). I have noticed that now when we switch positions he is always stroking himself (he never did this before) and my guess is to make sure he stays hard cause he's so conscious of it. So I guess sex puts pressure on him.
But what I meant when he finishes me with my dildo is that he doesn't last very long. Never has and unfortianutly I don't think he ever will.
Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?
Sounds like some stress related ED. The meds help me last forever before finishing. Idk if that is a common side effect, but it is a good side effect!
If he starts getting soft the best thing you can do is something different. The worst thing is to put the spotlight on him being soft and then working to get him hard again. So just move on to something different than what you are doing at the moment. If you say anything to him, be sure it is something supportive about him. Never ever make it about your pleasure or your orgasm or his ability to please you. Make it about him having fun. So if he gets soft, your concern is that he still has fun. Convey that you have zero concern that you will have fun. Convey that you are having plenty of fun no matter what, and so it is not a "failure" or a "problem" that he is going soft.
I am sure that his ED has nothing to do with whether he finds you sexually attractive. It isn't that he doesn't want you, the problem is that he too much wants to please you. Perhaps your sessions are too much geared to pleasing the other person. You might try agreeing to each be more selfish, in that you are responsible for taking action to get whatever it is that you want. He is not responsible for you having fun, nor are you responsible for him having fun.
It seems you all have bought the sex toys for your wives. Have you ever looked at something and thought to yourself "I won't be purchasing that" because it maybe makes you feel that your wife may prefer it to you?
I have purchased every sex toy we own. I wouldn't call my husband very adventurous in that area. He won't go out a purchase one...but he is more then willing to use them.
I'm trying to figure out why every other sex toy we own, he has been fine with...but this one....he's being weird about.
Well, I for one won't be going out and buying her a dildo that's twice my size, as an example... Pretty much anything else is fair game. We've got a dildo (about my size ), a bullet vibe that she really enjoys (often while I'm inside her), a vibrating c0ckring (which doesn't get used much), and a rabbit vibe.
Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?
We have toys. I've bought most of them, H has but a couple for me. He's not fond of the idea of me using them when he's not around, but enjoys them together. The last one we got was a rabbit style, and he was a bit intimidated by that one because of the size of it, but quickly got over that.
Sounds like some stress related ED. The meds help me last forever before finishing. Idk if that is a common side effect, but it is a good side effect!
If he starts getting soft the best thing you can do is something different. The worst thing is to put the spotlight on him being soft and then working to get him hard again. So just move on to something different than what you are doing at the moment. If you say anything to him, be sure it is something supportive about him. Never ever make it about your pleasure or your orgasm or his ability to please you. Make it about him having fun. So if he gets soft, your concern is that he still has fun. Convey that you have zero concern that you will have fun. Convey that you are having plenty of fun no matter what, and so it is not a "failure" or a "problem" that he is going soft.
I am sure that his ED has nothing to do with whether he finds you sexually attractive. It isn't that he doesn't want you, the problem is that he too much wants to please you. Perhaps your sessions are too much geared to pleasing the other person. You might try agreeing to each be more selfish, in that you are responsible for taking action to get whatever it is that you want. He is not responsible for you having fun, nor are you responsible for him having fun.
I used to put A LOT of emphasis on sex. I held it high on my list of importance in my marriage.
About a month ago I was speaking with a friend and they made it aware to me that I put too much importance on sex. And this was true. I always wanted to have sex (and still do). In fact I get moody when I don't.
I have since realized that sex is not as important as I held it. It is important, but it is not a matter of getting angry over when my husband falls asleep early or whatever the case may be.
I don't bring it up anymore. I can't even bring myself to hardly every initiate anymore because of those 2 occasions of ED. I wait for him to make the move. (Both times of ED I was the initiater) Which is usually anywhere from 1-3 days. Generally never more then 3 days in between. And when my husband leaves for work in the morning (he leaves the house 1.5 hours before me) I do my own thing. If and when he wants it at night, I'm always more then willing regardless of if I masturbate or not...a couple times I have not been able to cum due to this...and I did sense that he was a bit upset because of this...but he still got his.
Maybe this new me..not complaining about sex and simply taking care of my own needs is upsetting him.
I do agree that we focus maybe too much on pleasing each other instead of pleasing ourselves.
If he ever does have ED in the future. I will react differently for sure. I will be supportive and positive.
Re: Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys?
It obviously bothers him. But he probably feels it will make him look weak if he expresses it, which is why he refused to answer your question. For me, I prefer to be the one to buy the toys. I suppose I would be ok with her buying a toy under certain circumstances. But if, for example, she bought a dildo that was much larger than me it would be pretty upsetting and disrespectful. But a toy that is primarily for clitoral stimulation I would be fine with.
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Hey Guys...how do you feel about your wife and sex toys? 
), a bullet vibe that she really enjoys (often while I'm inside her), a vibrating c0ckring (which doesn't get used much), and a rabbit vibe.
