So, I will make a home for my husband...cook for him, do his laundry, work and pay 1/2 the bills, make his lunches for work, support him in his dreams, raise the children, and he has the nerve to ask for a paternity test.
Wow.
Should I randomly ask him to get a polygraph test when I have no reason so suspect he's cheating? He works his butt off to provide for us, does the yard work, cleans the things I can't reach/don't like to touch, is a good father...but I should just randomly bust out a request for a polygraph? damn. If I had a reason to, sure. Red flags fly...I get that. But I am not giving him to reason to think I've cheated...what is his validity to want a test? Divine intervention? Either you trust, or you don't. If you don't, then figure out why. Fix it and move on. Sure, don't have 100% blind trust in anybody, but if you can't trust that your wife is bearing YOUR child, then...wow. I have no more words for this.
I'm so happy I'm done having children so i wouldn't be faced with this reality.
ALSO, I dont' want the government to pay shet for these tests. Hell no.
A man has 6-12 months to get this done. After that, if he does not have the test done he's accepting that the child is his legal child whether it's his bio child or not. The reason I say this is that children bond to their father. It's not in the child's best interest to have their father (the one who raised them) abandom them some years later.
If the father finds out later it can still happen emotionally. Then you have an emotionally detached father paying a cheater woman money for her to raise a kid that isn't his. Kid still loses, the guy loses and the cheater wins.
So, I will make a home for my husband...cook for him, do his laundry, work and pay 1/2 the bills, make his lunches for work, support him in his dreams, raise the children, and he has the nerve to ask for a paternity test.
I think the thing is he doesn't have that nerve so he doesn't do it. That's the main point of that other thread. Just look at the results without voting. So far we have over 90% of the guys saying they would test without the woman knowing. Which is very revealing in itself. Men doubt but don't want to offend their women. So they don't get tested.
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but I should just randomly bust out a request for a polygraph?
AH! There is a major difference between men and women there. Men expect women not to trust them. It's mainly women who throw a fit over this trust business.
If you see a guy throwing a fit over his wife not trusting him completely you almost be sure he has a tail somewhere.
But maybe we should just let this one be a poll and continue discussing on that other one. No need to spill this all over.
Right? geebus. If you think your wife is a cheater, get a test. Most the men here HAVE MARITAL ISSUES with a wife that is a cheater. So, there's you "poll".
Right? geebus. If you think your wife is a cheater, get a test. Most the men here HAVE MARITAL ISSUES with a wife that is a cheater. So, there's you "poll".
I don't, i voted for hidden test. Because that's what i would have done if required. I'm a biology major and can make certain genetic predictions that can rule me out as a father. This if my daughter did not have some very particular genetic traits that run in my family.
BTW, feel free to drop by on every male inhabited forum out there and redo this poll. See if the results are that different.
Wow. So you would have thought your wife stepped out on you had your daughter not had some markings. Nice.
No, if my daughter did not present those particular markers then i would proceed to examine double recessive traits. I had no reason to believe foulplay. But since i can do this so easily, yes, i would do it. Make no mistake about it.
My partner is also a biology major. She was fully aware of our capabilities in this.
There is no way in hell i would be caught in a babytrap.
can't see the harm in it. if your not a coniving sl*t then no problems ....seems like only the people who would have something to hide wouldn't want it.
I agree, although men would suffer from being coniving sl*ts too, if they had children from ONS or prior relationships and didnt disclose it.
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Originally Posted by MrsKy
Anonim, is there something about this issue that hits close to home?
I'm only asking because I know there is another long thread along the same lines...
No, although the idea for the poll did come from that thread.
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Originally Posted by EleGirl
I'm not 10% you mean 100% right?wild about mandatory DNA. But do think that any man should have the rigtht to run a paternity test on a child born to his wife. I also think a wife is entitled to know what other children her H has.
The best time to do this is at birth as the test can be done using umbilical cord blood.
However I think that there should be a time limit. A man has 6-12 months to get this done. After that, if he does not have the test done he's accepting that the child is his legal child whether it's his bio child or not. The reason I say this is that children bond to their father. It's not in the child's best interest to have their father (the one who raised them) abandom them some years later.
I disagree on the time limit because the H might trust his wife, like a wife would want him to, even when she knows/suspects the child isnt his.
The father might bond with the child. He might have chose not to if he had known it wasnt his. The responsibility if the father chooses to walk, falls 100% on the mother for failing to inform him the child might not be his.
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Originally Posted by that_girl
So, I will make a home for my husband...snip
If its mandatory, neither you nor your H will have reason to have bad feelings to each other over the testing. A couple hundred dollars compared to the cost of giving birth to a child in the hospital is nothing. pennies on the dollar.
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Originally Posted by MrsKy
*listens to dead horse still being beaten*
You almost choked me! LOL
What does a dead horse being beaten sound like anyway?
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Originally Posted by that_girl
I'm kinda over it. Some men aren't big suspicious guys who need to know their wife isn't a ho.
ALL guys want to know their wife isnt a ho.
All women want to know their husband isnt either.
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Originally Posted by that_girl
Right? geebus. If you think your wife is a cheater, get a test.
If you go to doc cool you can see lots of wives whose husbands dont know their wife is a cheater.They are very accomplished cheaters and deceivers. What do you suggest those husbands do, not knowing that their wives are doing that?
Or will your voice be silent on this?
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Originally Posted by costa200
I don't, i voted for hidden test. Because that's what i would have done if required. I'm a biology major and can make certain genetic predictions that can rule me out as a father. This if my daughter did not have some very particular genetic traits that run in my family.
BTW, feel free to drop by on every male inhabited forum out there and redo this poll. See if the results are that different.
Funny you say this actually because I asked several guys at work environment if they were in favor of a mandatory paternity test.
the majority said yes, with equal numbers being unsure and saying no.
One of the ones saying no stated he would want the opportunity to catch the cheating partner on his own terms instead of the Dr outing him as knowing the child wasnt his.
One of the ones saying yes said he had no other children anywhere so he had nothing to hide.
However I think that there should be a time limit. A man has 6-12 months to get this done. After that, if he does not have the test done he's accepting that the child is his legal child whether it's his bio child or not. The reason I say this is that children bond to their father. It's not in the child's best interest to have their father (the one who raised them) abandom them some years later.
I get your point but I would feel bad for guys who find out theirs wives were messing around years later. Love is blind so many people have no clue they are being played until it get's to bad to not see it.
So, I will make a home for my husband...cook for him, do his laundry, work and pay 1/2 the bills, make his lunches for work, support him in his dreams, raise the children, and he has the nerve to ask for a paternity test.
Wow.
It doesn't sound like you are the type he would be suspicious of and it doesn't sound like he's suspicious in nature so I don't think this would affect you. It's merely a way to validate responsibility. And many men and women are suspicious because they should be
This is a way to prevent fraud. I think many men would never think twice about it. Especially if there were not red flags.
Right? geebus. If you think your wife is a cheater, get a test. Most the men here HAVE MARITAL ISSUES with a wife that is a cheater. So, there's you "poll".
Here's what I would like. Get result at birth from cord and mother and store it. Nothing else. Done.
At some later time the father can be tested if he wants to without the child having to know. This inherently means the mother can not know as well because she would tell the child.
Reason: I was very trusting and had no reason not to be. Seven years down the road and two affairs later we divorced. Well she was a cheater so it's possible they were not mine (except they looked just like me). The thing is you have no ability to know that feeling just like I don't know what an abortion feels like. It's not possible to occur so it's easy for you to throw judgement darts.
Love is blind so most people don't see it at first. But to ask your child to give you dna for testing or to ask the mother knowing that she will tell the child. Those options are just not good.
90% would do this??? I find that to be quite a sad statement about marriage.
It has nothing to do with marriage. It has everything to do with our evolutionary need to invest in out own bloodline. Women should understand this about as well as I understand the emotional state of having an abortion or miscarriage. No they are not the same things but yes they are something that I as a man can only try to empathisse with just as they can only try to empathisse with this issue.
And I think some women truly do get it so I'm impressed with them. Others are extraordinarily offended and I don't blame them for feeling that way. I just think it's based on see this as loss of control or power whether they know it or not.
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Re: paternity testing at birth 
