I agree with what you probably have already concluded: divorce is very seriously on your wife's mind. Even if she's not actually ready to file for it just yet, she's fantasizing about it, which is almost worse.
I actually don't recommend marriage counseling here, because you're just not going to be able to get your wife to commit to it. In order for marriage counseling to work EVER, both husband and wife have to be enthusiastic about saving their marriage. Even if you can get your wife to go see a MC, it's just not going to have a lasting effect on your marriage.
I recommend you read the Man Up references
here on the forum, they seem like they would be helpful in your situation. Basically, the only way your wife is going to to stay in the marriage is if she WANTS to stay. That's not something she decides, it's something she feels. She has to want YOU.
Just keep that in mind as you're reading through those references.
Things may look bad right now, but two years is not a very long time to have been married. I would still consider you newlyweds, honestly. So, having these types of seemingly severe problems is not abnormal, and although they certainly can lead to divorce, don't feel like your chance at a healthy long-term marriage is out the window.
My deepest sympathies, and I wish you the best of luck. Don't be a stranger around here, we are all happy to help as much as we can.