BeachGuy

I'm really depressed today. It's just sinking in that I'm completely stuck. I have everything to lose and very very little to gain by filing for divorce. I feel completely and totally trapped.

Mavash.

Why do you think you have "very very little" to gain by filing?

CandieGirl

I'd be more frightened and depressed at the prospect of living in a miserable relationship for the rest of my life. Don't be afraid. Do something about it.

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

My first marriage was. I was even held hostage by my ex spouse in my own home. I left and now I met the man of my dreams. I couldn't be any happier.

I'm so very sorry your having a bad time. I wish you the best of luck.

BeachGuy

Maybe that was a poor choice of words...but all I can think of is everything I'll lose. To go sit in a rented apartment alone 75% of the time and pay alimony for the rest of my life.

I've worked very hard to get where I am. Nice house, paid for cars, two wonderful children, dog, cat, "stuff".... I know I've said this before but no matter how you slice it, she'll come out smelling like a rose and I will get the very short-end. The writings on the wall; 20+ year marriage, she hasn't worked in 14 years, "maintain her lifestyle"....all that crap. And there's always her mentioning she might have to "move back home" if she can't survive here after a divorce.

Someone told me yet another story the other day of a friend who divorced his wife in FL and was ordered to pay alimony for life.

Toffer

Marriage prison?

If I was in prison, I would be getting all the sex I need!

Sorry, I just couldn't resist that.

Get a GREAT lawyer. It will be worth the money you save in the long run

MEM11363

BG,
Let me get this straight, given a choice between:
1. Nice stuff and daily proximity to someone who is not respectful to you and does not love you
and
2. Less stuff, less "status" associated with stuff, and the potential to be with someone who does love and respect you

If you choose door number 1, you are conveying to the kids that money and status matter more than love and self respect.

Do you not wish to at least have a chance at happiness?

Dad&Hubby

Maybe I missed something but.

What is actually wrong in your marriage where you feel so trapped?

GTdad

Your prison is fear and resentment, not marriage. Once I understood that, and the fact that I could handle anything that might happen, I simply walked out of my prison.

Lo and behold, I'm still married. I have to consider the possibility in my case that my fear and resentment were bigger problems than my wife.

BeachGuy

It's mostly about giving up living under the same roof as my children 24/7. And yes, there is some bitterness that she'll more than likely get the house and furniture.

BeachGuy

Any other guys in a parent/child marriage?

40isthenew20

Sometimes. Just when I think that my lame-ass wife is turning the corner sexualiy, she acts like a twat and bri gs everything back down to square one. I have kids with her and do genuinely love her, so I don't want to go anywhere. Just can't figure her out.

emb3425

I'm not at the point of filing yet, but I consider it and also realize that I have a lot to lose by walking away. I gave so much time and energy and sweat to our marriage and to giving my wife what she wanted. She couldn't have cared less when another guy(s) had turned her head. It's like she's some wild child kid and I'm someone just there to take care of her. Now I mention I may leave and she's desperate to keep us together, but I don't know. But yes it feels like a prison to me since no matter what I do from here I lose.

gbrad

This is where I believe that alimony should not exist. Child support is one thing, but alimony is ridiculous. People should have to support themselves. I am lucky to know that if I got divorced there would be no alimony requested either way. It is wrong.
You are the one working, you SHOULD get the house.
I feel for you.

Jason439

BeachGuy. I read your original post. Although I haven't tried as hard as you to save my marriage. (very little effort on my part) I want out, but also feel imprisoned.

I've been reading a lot on this forum and done a lot of soul searching lately. I've come to the conclusion, that my wife can't get past her trust issues despite the fact I have not cheated on her. She has become almost delusional in her constant accusations of me cheating.

I can't see a way forward with her if she refuses to get counseling. According to her, I'm the one that needs it.

I've decided that my marriage is over and I want out. Trouble is we have 2 boys 6 & 8 and I can't come to grips with how to make it easy for them. I feel they will be devastated. So for now, I'm stuck in my own marriage prison as well.