Re: My wife talks to men on dating sites
Sometimes spouses are simply self-destructive - me included. Let me give you an example. I have a twisted fantasy of sharing my wife with other men and women, and in the past I have pressed this issue repeatedly.
However, this is a boundary that my wife will never cross and has been stubborn up till now in regards to it. She hates it whenever I bring it up and it's grounds for a fight. Now, since TAM I have read stories of folks who did indeed CROSS that boundary and all the problems that it causes. It also made me look deep within myself and ask myself if that is really what I want -> to lose the principled and strong woman that I fell in love with only to turn her into a s--t for my own sexual enjoyment.
If my wife did not stand her ground on this boundary, our marriage would have been f--ked. Boundaries are indeed important and being open-minded is one thing, but somethings you JUST DON'T DO as it will damage the marriage.
For some people open-marriages work, but they will be the first to tell you that if your marriage isn't strong enough, don't do it, as they know firsthand how swinging can destroy marriages. Now in your case, your marriage is far from strong enough and it's on a self-destructive course if you don't enforce this boundary.
My wife stood her ground and saved our marriage from crumbling. You should take up her example.