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post #31 of 53 (permalink) Old 10-07-2012, 07:36 PM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

Everyone is going to be different.

I myself believe, "If you got it, flaunt it!". Meaning, if you look good, play it up.

I personally like my women a little on the skanky side. Not full skank, but definitely some. I want my woman looking good, I want other guys looking, desireous and jealous. I don't care, cause **I** am the one going to playing the games in bed (or wherever) later. Not the public that sees her walking around.

And honestly, if her dressing hot/****tily is going to cause her to cheat, then she isn't the faithful kind anyway. NEXT!

But otherwise, if he has a problem with the way you are dressing, then he is insecure and afraid that someone will take you away, or he regards you as his property. Neither bode well for you.
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post #32 of 53 (permalink) Old 10-08-2012, 03:58 AM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

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Originally Posted by I.T. Guy View Post
Everyone is going to be different.

I myself believe, "If you got it, flaunt it!". Meaning, if you look good, play it up.

I personally like my women a little on the skanky side. Not full skank, but definitely some. I want my woman looking good, I want other guys looking, desireous and jealous. I don't care, cause **I** am the one going to playing the games in bed (or wherever) later. Not the public that sees her walking around.

And honestly, if her dressing hot/****tily is going to cause her to cheat, then she isn't the faithful kind anyway. NEXT!

But otherwise, if he has a problem with the way you are dressing, then he is insecure and afraid that someone will take you away, or he regards you as his property. Neither bode well for you.
That’s just old wives tales.


I regarded my wife as my property for 42 years. Now she’s free to do whatever she likes with whomever she likes and whenever she likes because she is after all now a free woman.


Now though in spite of on occasions creating jealousy in me it seems she doesn’t actually want another man as she still wears my ring some three years after we separated.
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post #33 of 53 (permalink) Old 10-08-2012, 08:17 AM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

AFEH, were you also your wife's "property"?

Objects are property, not people unless they are slaves.
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post #34 of 53 (permalink) Old 10-08-2012, 10:23 AM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

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AFEH, were you also your wife's "property"?

Objects are property, not people unless they are slaves.
Of course.

For me it’s what a wedding ring symbolises.

My wife still wears her ring, symbolising that she still belongs to (is the property of) another man, me.

If it was just any ring to keep men away, she’d have bought another ring and worn that one. But she wants to demonstrate that she still belongs to me, even after 3 years separation. She is a great one for denial, make believe. She knows what "belonging to me" means and she knows that what she has now isn't even close, it's millions of miles away.


I don’t wear my ring, symbolising that I don’t belong to (am not the property of) anyone.


Married people, although they “belong to” their partner (are the property of) symbolised by the ring they wear, are obviously free to come and go as they wish.

Last edited by AFEH; 10-08-2012 at 10:33 AM.
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post #35 of 53 (permalink) Old 10-08-2012, 10:27 AM
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My wife has an ass and I want her to flaunt it for me. I have bought her small jammy bottoms and boy shorts... But she is never willing to wear them in our own home just for my enjoyment
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post #36 of 53 (permalink) Old 10-08-2012, 10:40 AM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

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My wife has an ass and I want her to flaunt it for me. I have bought her small jammy bottoms and boy shorts... But she is never willing to wear them in our own home just for my enjoyment
Tease her, offer her a dollar to wear them and see what happens.
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post #37 of 53 (permalink) Old 10-08-2012, 10:51 AM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

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Tease her, offer her a dollar to wear them and see what happens.
I think the main issue is I am 35, and she is 55. She says she is too old to be sexy or to dress hot anymore.

She has nice curves, nice breasts, and an ass I always stare at.

Outside of the house I can see her wanting to dress her age (bah) but inside the house I would want to dress something I can just glance over at her and just want to attack her. Or rub her (unsexually, but in a teasing way).
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post #38 of 53 (permalink) Old 10-12-2012, 05:15 AM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

don't show cleavage and legs unless its fancy or we are together. you know what i mean?
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post #39 of 53 (permalink) Old 12-09-2016, 03:22 AM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

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As a background, we have been married for 3 years and this is the first time this is an issue.

H told me a few days ago that he finds the way I dress uncomfortable. In my opinion I am by no means dressing in any ****ty way. I generally wear skirts or dresses that are 2-4 inches above the knee, with tights and some knitted shirt or sweater, a couple of them have a v-neck but mostly high cut. I have always dressed like this. But in the past 6-12 months I have started to wear more brighter colours and in some ways more .. flashy clothes. I don't wear make up. My husband finds issue with my appearance being too "sexy" and "attention seeking" primarily because he noticed that men look at me on the street when I'm wearing a shorter skirt.

Fact is, I'm hot. I don't dress for other men's attention, I dress because I like clothes and dressing nicely. We have now talked a lot and very deeply about this. My husband doesn't care about dressing nicely and thinks a bit less of people who do, that it is superficial and a negative trait in a person. He also thinks I shouldn't be inviting outside attention to our marriage, which is what he sees me dressing in clothes that he finds to be too revealing. I have had self-esteem and body-image issues before. I am finally well set in my body and like the way I look. I like pretty clothes, don't spend too much money on them, just like to wear things that give me a confidence boost and colours that keep me in happy spirits.

I am having deeper feelings of uncomfortableness with the issue that my husband looks down upon people who pay attention to their looks. I started to feel pressured to not only dress less sexy but also dress less like me. He dresses just naturally, sometimes sloppily, but I have never said that I felt embarassed to go to the theater or a concert with him eventhough he just wears baggy clothes and doesn't even own a suit.

My point: I feel judged because of the way I like to dress.
So: Ignore husband and dress how I like? Accommodate husband and dress in some ways less flashy/revealing? Forget about clothes and paying so much attention to what I look like, and go find satisfaction and get into new hobbies? What?

Men, both confident and terribly insecure or anything in between, what is your opinion?
Hi need to feel sorry for this. However you should carry yourself the way you like. I had the same problem, however I convinced my husband, and now he supports the same :P
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post #40 of 53 (permalink) Old 12-09-2016, 04:32 AM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

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I guess I just got caught up with it because it is in some way pretty important to me, as dressing nicely makes me feel nice. But I should also be able to live without wearing my "sexy" skirts for a short period of time, if that helps to bring the focus back to fixing the underlying, fundamental issues in our relationship.
Sounds like you already cater to this insecure man quite a bit. You don't wear makeup and I'd be willing to bet that's by his choice and you've just found a way to accept it.

Now, he wants to dictate how you dress.

Sound like you're willing to lose 'you' in order to pander to him.

I guess he won't be happy until you're wearing a burka.

Be very careful of the precedents you're setting just to appease him. Very, very careful.
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post #41 of 53 (permalink) Old 12-09-2016, 04:40 AM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

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post #42 of 53 (permalink) Old 12-12-2016, 11:37 AM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

A husband should have a say in how his wife dresses or carries herself in the public. To some, this might constitute as controlling. However, I see it as a facet of mate-guarding.

My wife prefers to be modest in her appearance outside the home. When she wants to dress sexy, she will do it for me only, mostly at home. This is how I prefer it to be.

Completely ignoring the concerns of your partner and/or declaring him insecure, is not a healthy way to approach this issue. A good way to address this matter is to encourage your partner to participate in your shopping activities and seek his opinion in your choice of dresses. This comes down to understanding the concerns of your partner. Some level of compromise is always helpful.
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post #43 of 53 (permalink) Old 12-12-2016, 11:59 AM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

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Originally Posted by She'sStillGotIt View Post
Sounds like you already cater to this insecure man quite a bit. You don't wear makeup and I'd be willing to bet that's by his choice and you've just found a way to accept it.

Now, he wants to dictate how you dress.

Sound like you're willing to lose 'you' in order to pander to him.

I guess he won't be happy until you're wearing a burka.

Be very careful of the precedents you're setting just to appease him. Very, very careful.
I agree. He's a controlling abusive misogynist. OP should divorce him and become a lesbian.
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post #44 of 53 (permalink) Old 12-12-2016, 12:07 PM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

OP, are you flirtatious around men?
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post #45 of 53 (permalink) Old 12-12-2016, 12:15 PM
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Re: Husband insecure about the way I dress

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Fact is, I'm hot.
Maybe you're not as hot as you think you are and that's the problem your husband has with you dressing the way you do?

If you want relevant advice you need to post a pic of you in one of your regular outfits. Block our your face if your'e so inclined.
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