With this ring?
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Old 06-03-2009, 11:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default With this ring?

I'm getting ready to propose but need some advice (other than don't do it). I'm shopping for her engagement ring and wanted to get an idea of what other men have gotten for their wives.

I've already had her sister help me out and we've narrowed it down to a ring that looks something like this:

The Complete Engagement Ring Guide

But the question is... white gold or platinum or something else? I'm familiar with the 4 C's for the diamond but would just like to know the difference between the metals before I make the big purchase. Of course jewelers can tell you what you want to hear but I wanted to get insight from real guys that have experience with this.
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Old 06-03-2009, 11:38 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: With this ring?

That is a HIGHLY PERSONAL THING and most women have a good idea
of what kind of ring they want.
I would work with your wife to be on it... !!! or you may end up taking it back to exchange !
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Old 06-03-2009, 02:29 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: With this ring?

I think it's very pretty... she'll love it.
I had white gold and never had any issues with it. If you want it to be a suprise... which is nice... you don't need to ask her... getting help from her sister is a good idea. Good luck and most women wouldn't take it back to exchange it... if she knows what thought you put into finding the perfect ring for her, she'll probably be very touched and love whatever you pick for her.
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Old 06-03-2009, 02:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: With this ring?

I second preso's post.

You should have a pretty good idea of her tastes. Either surprise her with what you know she wants - or have a blast and go through the process together.
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Old 06-03-2009, 02:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: With this ring?

most women spend years .. lol... thinking about which wedding ring they want...
they look at pictures for hours.

have to be a pretty tough guy to go through all that...
My husband can't bear an hour at the mall looking around, let alone that !!!

I'd ask her what she wants and let her select it.

Your surprise can be a bigger karat weight since your going with a diamond.
Since we are older and both have jewlery, we had rings made from old gold and diamonds we already had. This way too I could get a very unique ring.
I now have 2 wedding rings, one a band ( a band I wear everyday) and a big hunk of a diamond one that I wear only when I'm going out of not cleaning anything or cooking. I sure do like a band to wear for daily wear...
It took me 2 years to figure out what ring style I wanted.
I thought I wanted a old vicorian or art deco era setting but when I tried them on.. didn't like. Went to antique stores, pawn shops, shopped online... oiy... took so long and couldnt find what I wanted...
Bought some settings online and when they arrived.... didn't like....
and sent them back
so we ended up having some made.

I don't wear my diamond everyday because its too big and I don't want to lose it. It also have real sapphires on the sides as accents, both white and yellow gold. 3 karats total diamoind weight, center is the largest diamond... 2.5 karats
I just love it !
I want to thank all my old boyfriends who bought me jewlery as I sold it all and bought a NICE BIG diamond and got rid of all the petty trash jewlery.
Now I have something to go OOOOOOOOO and AHHHHHHHH about !
haha
my husband paid to have them made, which wasn't cheap !

I had lots of rings and gold... I was asked to marry 17 times before I said YES... all different men.... 18 is a lucky number for me

Last edited by preso; 06-03-2009 at 02:56 PM.
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Old 06-03-2009, 03:11 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: With this ring?

Agree with posts that advise you to be sure you know what she wants or likes: my dh bought my ring without taking my input into account, not a bit of it. I got a ring made for someone with tiny little hands. I am 5'7" and while not a large woman, I wear size a size 8 ring, and I needed a ring with more substance, not the daintiness. I have this solitaire I don't really care for, but have worn for 24 years none-the-less....

LISTEN to what SHE wants....
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Old 06-03-2009, 04:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
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When my husband proposed, he presented me with a diamond in a very basic solitaire setting. He chose the diamond based on his research and budget, and knew that he would never be able to pick the right setting. So after I said yes, he told me that we would go back to the jewelers so I could pick out the setting I wanted. The basic setting was very inexpensive, and I think they even took it back when I got the real setting I wanted. It was ideal - no hard feelings about choosing the wrong thing, and it was really fun to go do together. I highly recommend this approach.
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Old 06-03-2009, 11:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: With this ring?

I think that ring is very pretty- i really like white gold. when my H proposed he got me this outlandishly huge thing. I didnt want it, but would have been disappointed if he'd gotten anything else. odd, i know. now i just have a simple ring with his birth stone in the middle. So, everyone is different and just tell her to get one she likes.
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Old 06-04-2009, 01:09 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: With this ring?

That is a wonderful ring But go white it is not so soft and not that expensive to maintain Platnum is very expensive, so when you need to get prongs redone instead of $6-8.00 its more like $36.00 per prong.

But love the style very pretty, Im sure she will love it cause you did it all by your self. That does mean a lot.
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Old 06-04-2009, 08:57 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leahdorus View Post
When my husband proposed, he presented me with a diamond in a very basic solitaire setting. He chose the diamond based on his research and budget, and knew that he would never be able to pick the right setting. So after I said yes, he told me that we would go back to the jewelers so I could pick out the setting I wanted. The basic setting was very inexpensive, and I think they even took it back when I got the real setting I wanted. It was ideal - no hard feelings about choosing the wrong thing, and it was really fun to go do together. I highly recommend this approach.

sounds like the best plan yet !
Those settings can cost several thousand dollars.
This way it can be one she really wants.
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Old 06-04-2009, 12:27 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by MyKidsMom View Post
But go white it is not so soft and not that expensive to maintain Platnum is very expensive, so when you need to get prongs redone instead of $6-8.00 its more like $36.00 per prong.
I spoke to a local jeweler I've used in the past and found out that platinum is more durable so it shouldn't require too much maintenance and the prongs wouldn't need to be replaced as often. Plus, white gold has to be re-plated to stay white, so I think white gold would actually need the most maintenance.

I think it's one of those things where you get what you pay for... if you buy a luxury car you're paying a little extra so that you won't need to get it repaired all the time.
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Old 06-04-2009, 12:55 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: With this ring?

I am very frugal and don't wear a lot of jewelry, so my husband knew not to get anything flashy. He ended up getting an anniversary style ring with a very cloudy diamond, he might have gotten it at Walmart, not sure. I didn't care. I don't have any friends to show off to. I stopped wearing my rings after my first pregnancy. We don't wear our wedding bands either, though I picked those. Good luck with the proposal.
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Old 06-04-2009, 01:29 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: With this ring?

When my (ex) wife were to get married, I was overseas (in military).

I sent her the money and told her to get what she liked. I also said to get silver since I prefered that to gold.

It turned out she got white gold instead. it was many years later that I discovered I had a mild allergy to sterling!

Have you asked her what she'd like if you ever decided to get her something (e.g. a bracelet or earrings...don't mention the engagement ring!)?
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Old 06-04-2009, 01:40 PM   #14 (permalink)
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It turned out she got white gold instead. it was many years later that I discovered I had a mild allergy to sterling!
Do you have other skin allergies... b/c I know some people can have a reaction to white gold depending on the alloy used to plate it. but platinum is hypoallergenic. You haven't had a problem with white gold?
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Old 06-04-2009, 01:49 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: With this ring?

I have a nickle allergy, and an allergy to sterling silver.. my wedding band and engagement ring were white gold and never had an issue.. I also never had to havve my white gold ring replated or anything as mentioned. I love the look of the white gold, but its all in your SO's tastes.. find out what she likes the best. Or take her to the jewelry store and have her pick out her favorite...

Maybe blindfold her, tell her you have a surprise.. then drive to a jewelry store.. walk in and remove the blindfold.. get down on one knee.. propose.. then have her pick it out

Best of luck to you!
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