The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!
I think most males dads say this dont they?
Well mine did and most of my mates said theres did.
how true it is, even though i thought mine wouldnt be.
My exwife (28) and her mum were nothing a like when i started dating her when she was 22. They actually didnt even talk much to eachother and were opposites.
Exwife when 22: had a job, weighed 55k.g, played sport, liked dancing, went to sporting games, loved sex, cooked, enjoyed a drink etc.
mother although she is not a bad person, hasnt worked in 20 years (blames her back) never has money, well maybe because she spends it on smokes, and take away, is fat maybe 110k.g, has a bf but states they dont have sex, rarely cooksm just has take away, watches tv basically for 10am whens she gets up till midnight.
you guessed it as soon as i married my ex. she put on 30k.g, spends money on crap, rarely cooked, loved take away, watched tv.internet heaps, stopped having sex, hates sport now, gets up at 10am on days off and by the the times she ready to do something midday. Oh and now has a big fat ass like her mum and is actually starting to look like her and sounds like her.....
I admit im like my old man and laugh if i picture him with my ex wifes mum LOL so funny, but thats what it would have been i guess.
Just put the topic up as my mate today said his wife has put on 20k.g and looking like her mum LOL.
Deffinetly look at the mother and study her closely. my mum is like her mum but they are both great.
Re: The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!
hmm..can't say that im agree.
my mom is a dentist, chief on her workplace until 3 years ago, now she's working in less stressful position.he sewn her own pregnancy dress [i saw it when she was expecting my youngest sister], still does now; those little craft projects. she's an amazing cook, owns a small catering company.she's devoted to my dad, a respectful wife.a loving grandma for my nephew. she's also my original fashion guru. wakes up early, work all day, always has the time to come home by lunch to accompany my dad who's now retired.always.she never fails. she's a strong,independent woman who loves her family so much.she hates TV and movies [except marlon brando's] because she thinks it's a waste of time.
yes she put up some weight, never been an athletic one she is.
me, im a tomboy who can't cook like her and i played basketball in highschool, now at 31 i;m still 47kg.i work in art&computer,total opposite of her field. i wake up at 10 am because i sleep at 3am,or 4am. i clean up the house exactly like her.the rest of it we're totally different. i'm more like daddy than mum
the only one said that we have some resemblance was my late granny. she looked at my pre-wedding photo, exclaiming [to my mum] : 'she just looks like you when you're younger!'.
other than that, no one ever thought that we're actually mom & daughter
__________________ Love is a serious mental disease - PLATO || Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die - The Buddha
I'm a lot like my mom and consider it a good thing. She's 55 and does not look her age by far. She's not the slim 95lb she was when she got married but at 5'4 and 135 she is by no means overweight. Shes always been a smart determined hardworking woman (worked full time since 18 and still does)who never needed help making her own way in life. She's never owned a credit card and spends her money very wisely. She gives out of her way to brighten peoples day and is almost always in a good mood. All of this is coming from a woman who grew up as Daddy's girl BTW.
Of course she has her down sides like high anxiety over things that don't really requite that much thought. She's never been a great housekeeper especially after her OCD daughter left the house Lol. I'm sure I could add to her negatives but right now I'm drawing a blank.
We do share a lot of traits. She made sure to pass down a lot of admirable traits to her me and I'm very grateful for all the great life lessons she taught me. I'd like to think the way i am today is from almost equal parts both parents leaning towards dad. And I'm pretty awesome....
Re: The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!
The old saying, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree is reasonably accurate. Whoever raised the child will have had the most influence. You find out for sure when the chips are down. Don't kid yourself.
Re: The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!
There's also a saying that says, to know how a man will treat his wife, look at how he treats his mother. :P
I guess that there is some truth about these sayings, but I wouldn't make them rules.
But putting aside the bait and switch cases, I don't really understand how can one change so much after marriage. I mean, I've been living with my husband for a year before marrying him, and aside of having an extra legal paper saying that we're married and having made vows that we are sure that we want to be with each other and are committed to be together for better and worse for the rest of our lives, I don't see any difference in our lives.
Re: The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2ntnuf
The old saying, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree is reasonably accurate. Whoever raised the child will have had the most influence. You find out for sure when the chips are down. Don't kid yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith23
There's also a saying that says, to know how a man will treat his wife, look at how he treats his mother. :P
I guess that there is some truth about these sayings, but I wouldn't make them rules.
But putting aside the bait and switch cases, I don't really understand how can one change so much after marriage. I mean, I've been living with my husband for a year before marrying him, and aside of having an extra legal paper saying that we're married and having made vows that we are sure that we want to be with each other and are committed to be together for better and worse for the rest of our lives, I don't see any difference in our lives.
Re: The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!
Whoever raised the child will have had the most influence.......
This statement is not necessarily true; I live with the proof that DNA has a lot to do with who we become. My H (46) met his bio dad three years ago. His dad had no idea H existed until I located him. Not only do they look alike, but the number of characteristics/mannerisms they share is unbelievable. Other than age, they're identical - morals, values, work ethic, beliefs, political views, etc.
That being said: I look just like my mother except weight. I can only hope to look like her when I reach her age, @ 66, she looks to be low- mid 50s. The other major difference in us is that she's what you'd consider a 'man-hater/basher'. This is due for the most part to my dad hurting her many years ago. Since then, she's had bf's but it's almost as if she chooses wrong on purpose in an effort of self-sabotage. Every time I see her, she resembles her mother more & more. This is not a good thing. My Gmother is a cranky old bitty.
Told my H it scares me to think I may end up like them....... He says: Hell NO you won't; I'll put a foot up your A$$!!! Lol.
Re: The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!
Moms have a lot of influence but a woman's relationship (or lack thereof) with her father is a far better predictor of her adult marriage outcome. Any of you guys who have daughters, please make a special note of this.
Re: The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ten_year_hubby
Moms have a lot of influence but a woman's relationship (or lack thereof) with her father is a far better predictor of her adult marriage outcome. Any of you guys who have daughters, please make a special note of this.
Bingo. If your wife has a lack of respect for her father or is distant, estranged, etc. from him -- be very, very careful.
My exW had a total lack of respect for her father. I learned later that it applied to almost all the men in her life.
Re: The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!
Physically speaking, and even as she ages into her 50's, my STBXW looks like the spitting image of her Mom, who is the absolute sweetest and kindest lady in the world.
But that's where the comparison stops. Inasfar as her pschological traits go, she acts bossy and domineering just like her Dad. And then he was rumored to have had quite the reputation of being a lady's man in Europe during his WWII days as an officer.
Re: The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ten_year_hubby
Moms have a lot of influence but a woman's relationship (or lack thereof) with her father is a far better predictor of her adult marriage outcome. Any of you guys who have daughters, please make a special note of this.
I think it depends on the father or the man you're marrying.
I'm one of those daughters who doesn't get along with her father and have almost zero talk/discussion during the day. I can't say he's a man I have much respect for and we're very distant.
It's a bout reciprocity. My father has never been the loving type, never showed affection to me or mom, he's not affection in general and has mostly been indifferent to me during my life and everything I've done.
Thus I can say he's one of the people I care less about and I say this without a single doubt.
But with my guy friends I'm different. I was different with my ex. I'm sure they've gotten more love/affection/attention/caring from me than my dad ever has.
You can bet on that.
__________________ Shaggy: Men of integrity don't have affairs. They don't have affairs not because there aren't other wonderful women out there besides their wives, they don't have affairs because as men of integrity they choose not to.
Re: The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them!
My wife has totally turned into the personality of my FIL. It's funny though, my oldest daughter is so much my MIL. Same attitude, looks like she did 55 years ago, even walks like her.
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The Old, Look at the girls mother before you commit to them! 
