Re: The first counseling session..argh.
Hi Canada guy. I think your MC could have prepared you both a little better. Yes, seeing each person individually is important. After leaving a session, it is common to withdraw as you process some things brought up or new insight into something old. Some couples fight a lot more in the beginning of MC because unresolved issues are being brought up that need to be resolved. Other couples retreat even more as they process the issues, feelings and desires about the future.
The first MC session should have been more about why you are there and what your hope/desires are that the MC can guide you both toward. Also, there should have been a brief explanation on how to do therapy and this is something a LOT of MC leave out. It's time consuming and sometimes completely ineffective. But see what happened to you? You left MC with all these issues swirling around, as did your wife, but neither of you were given advice on how to communicate, what to expect, and what is normal after a session.
I think MC should be held accountable for properly educating their clients. Give the MC a call and explain what's been happening and ask if there is a pamphlet or hand out on what you and your wife might encounter as you process your sessions. Don't turn the call into a session, just an update with question.