Please Share Advice- 2nd Wife (Soon)
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Old 02-24-2013, 03:57 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Please Share Advice- 2nd Wife (Soon)

Gentlemen

Apologies for reaching out and i am still new and nervous about using this kind of post - i am 50 and not experienced, but need help and advice.

This is my second marriage (and 2nd for her) which will happen in about 3 months - however i have some issues, including:

* her kids (she has 3) and my guy (I have one - he is awesome) are very different - her kids are elite - my son is a great kid but not elite.
* our relationship is very, very good, but i think that ultimately she wants a hot young stud (I am not bad, but i am old, and my belly is growing, and i am balding) - how can i satisfy a woman at 50? or should i even try?

Sorry to dump this on you gents. Hey if any of you has a similar experience or good advice, please share.

Thanks,

LfHwTT
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Old 02-24-2013, 05:33 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please Share Advice- 2nd Wife (Soon)

How old are you?

What does it mean when you say that her kids are "elite"?
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Old 02-24-2013, 06:36 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please Share Advice- 2nd Wife (Soon)

Thanks for your kind and considerate reply.

I am 50.

Her kids get straight As - actually A pluses - her daughter complained to me that she only got a 96 - it was only an A - not an A plus.

My son is younger - he isn't that bright.

That is what gives me pause.

If you have other thoughts please share.

Thanks,
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Old 02-24-2013, 06:53 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LookingForHelpwithTakeTwo View Post
Thanks for your kind and considerate reply.

I am 50.

Her kids get straight As - actually A pluses - her daughter complained to me that she only got a 96 - it was only an A - not an A plus.

My son is younger - he isn't that bright.

That is what gives me pause.

If you have other thoughts please share.

Thanks,
I don't think the disparity between the kids cognative abilities will have much of an influence on their relationship.
I have two step sons who had a very tough time academically and a bio daughter (with my current wife) who cringes at the thought of a B+ in any subject.
The day she gets that B will be the worst day of her life. She's that serious about it.
They get along great.

As far as you being 50 I'm figuring this lady is well aware of how old you are and your physical abilities.
She doesn't seem to have a problem with you.

Not a bad idea to hit the gym a few days a week to keep up her interest in you though.
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Old 02-24-2013, 07:53 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please Share Advice- 2nd Wife (Soon)

Quote:
Originally Posted by LookingForHelpwithTakeTwo View Post
Gentlemen

Apologies for reaching out and i am still new and nervous about using this kind of post - i am 50 and not experienced, but need help and advice.

This is my second marriage (and 2nd for her) which will happen in about 3 months - however i have some issues, including:

* her kids (she has 3) and my guy (I have one - he is awesome) are very different - her kids are elite - my son is a great kid but not elite.
* our relationship is very, very good, but i think that ultimately she wants a hot young stud (I am not bad, but i am old, and my belly is growing, and i am balding) - how can i satisfy a woman at 50? or should i even try?

Sorry to dump this on you gents. Hey if any of you has a similar experience or good advice, please share.

Thanks,

LfHwTT
How old is your wife? What's your relative financial situation (who's bringing more to the relationship in terms of money and resources)? Why is your "belly growing"? And how hot is she relative to you? Will all the kids be with both of you full time? Do they get along ok? How old are all the kids? Have you looked at the issues of merging families? How long have you been seeing each other?

My thoughts... If you're not going to try to satisfy your wife, don't bother getting married. You better fill her needs, or someone else will. This means working at looking your best for her, as well as both of you enjoying your sex life.

As far as the kids go, merging families together can often be difficult. You need to talk about how that's going to work, and do some reading/research about best ways to make it happen.

C
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Old 02-24-2013, 09:37 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please Share Advice- 2nd Wife (Soon)

If you're 50yo and you think your fiancee wants a "hot young stud", then *WHY* do you think she is planning on marrying you in 3 months?

Are you loaded with money? Real estate? Trust fund?
Are you significantly older than your fiancee?
How long have you known each other?

If you think she's going to want a "hot, young stud" then WHY are YOU planning on marrying HER if you suspect that she is going to be looking around (and maybe cheating)?

Was cheating involved in your first marriage? Hers?
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:47 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please Share Advice- 2nd Wife (Soon)

Thanks Gents - appreciate the advice - i think all of you are on target.

You are right - we need to figure out the kids situation - I need to figure it out. Great to hear that in your experience it wasn't an issue.

We are both bringing home the bacon, but my career is taking off - I'm probably 60%/40%.

Yes I need to hit the gym, great advice. Yes she is my age and she is aware of age-related issues. Nonetheless I own this.

Thanks again.

Cheers.
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please Share Advice- 2nd Wife (Soon)

Quote:
You are right - we need to figure out the kids situation - I need to figure it out. Great to hear that in your experience it wasn't an issue.
The academic disparity wasn't an issue as kids don't seem to judge each other by those standards and my daughter came after I was married to my wife with her two boys so that made it a bit easier than blending three kids at once.

However there were tons of other issues between I and her kids that you need to get a baseline on before you marry.

I have to tell you that being a step parent is the most difficult, unfulfilling job I've ever had..EVER.

You should check out some step parenting forums and see what you're in for before tying the knot.

It's not for the feint of heart my friend.

Good Luck!!
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Old 02-24-2013, 01:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please Share Advice- 2nd Wife (Soon)

Thanks Tacoma for your honest open insightful advice. You are a man of honor. Much appreciated.
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