"count your blessings"
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Old 03-02-2013, 03:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default "count your blessings"

You guys ever heard this line or something related to it?

What are your thoughts on it and what would you reply if your spouse told you that?
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Old 03-02-2013, 07:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
You guys ever heard this line or something related to it?

What are your thoughts on it and what would you reply if your spouse told you that?
Yes I've heard it both from my mom when I was a kid and my wife.

Its a " covert" type of threat.
It usually means stop complaining about what you don't have and appreciate what you have before its all gone.
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Old 03-02-2013, 08:00 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: "count your blessings"

If my spouse said it, it would probably be out of snark or "you get what you get and you better like it" attitude.

So my response would be to eff off.

But in my life, I do count my blessings. It puts things in perspective. Sure, there are things I want, blah blah blah, but bills are paid, house is warm, kids are fed, we are happy and strong and healthy...what more could I ask for? Nothing.
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Old 03-02-2013, 08:35 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I count my blessings that my ex left before he made us all destitute!
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Dolly is all of the women actually.
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Old 03-02-2013, 03:07 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Great...

Looks like my wife has her plans on standing her ground over our little debacle in that case. Was wondering when she'll stop being nice, guess it's a sign of things to come unless I give in, oh well, I'll see her today and see what happens. All I want from her is a sincere apology.

But instead, things might be over soon. Now a big part of me just wants to compromise and accept the half-assed apology as I do miss her. *sigh*
Serves me right for being vulnerable with her throughout this reconciliation. Should have kept my heart hardened.
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Old 03-02-2013, 06:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: "count your blessings"

I know nothing of your situation but it my life this has been true... "you get what you settle for"
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Old 03-02-2013, 08:53 PM   #7 (permalink)
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It could be that you're a rude jerk who deserves to hear that... I dunno ANY of your history other than the original post.

BUT it ALSO sounds to me like something a rude jerk would say to try and emotionally manipulate and control. Like she wants you to be a doormat for her and wants you to think you're lucky to have her.

It's also a pretty tame thing to say. Sometimes when people fight it can get really nasty in the heat of the moment. People say things they don't really mean long term.

It is good to remember to be thankful and just not only on just one day of the year.


Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
You guys ever heard this line or something related to it?

What are your thoughts on it and what would you reply if your spouse told you that?

Last edited by outNabout; 03-02-2013 at 09:00 PM.
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Old 03-03-2013, 03:11 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Don't cave. She will destroy you. No doormats. Be strong.
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Old 03-03-2013, 03:13 AM   #9 (permalink)
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My reply would be "count yours b!tch!" That's just me.
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Old 03-03-2013, 05:24 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Well, I'm still struggling to maintain my focus and work ethic at the moment. I've practically lost all desire to make money, which is reflected in my work and hence my staff aren't very happy because I have to lay off their hours. We should be recieving much more business through events which are my money makers but now for this week everything is reduced to minimal service.

If anything, I still remember someone told me that my wife has her share of contributions in my business' success then I had realised. Even if it was indirectly... this house, my business, everything we have, I worked for, and it was all for her and our little one. I can live comfortably on a 9-5 job or even part-time, and I lived that way before marriage. Now I have the responsibility of an owner and director with shareholders and stakeholders to please... but no longer the motivation to even shoulder the responsibility anymore. *sigh*

Maybe it would be better if I hire a GM and move on from this. At least it'll give me more peace of mind to focus on myself.

Last edited by RandomDude; 03-03-2013 at 05:29 PM.
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Old 03-03-2013, 05:43 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I think when spouses say this it means they have no interest whatsoever in DOING anything nor do they want to see your point of view. It means stop whining because they are tired of listening to it.

FWIW I'm against this phrase. It is up to each person individually to learn this and it's condescending to say it to someone else. It doesn't honor their feelings at all.

I told my aunt something that I was struggling with and she says "count your blessings". Um okay how exactly is that helpful to me NOW? All it did was make me feel worse. Now in addition to being upset now I can add ungrateful to my list. Gee thanks. LOL
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Old 03-03-2013, 05:44 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I think you are going to far with this v-day apology.She apologized and told you she had no bad intentions.

Explain to her why it was bad thing to do make her acknowledge that she was in the wrong considering other submission thing you had and that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if nothing happened in the past.
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Old 03-03-2013, 05:44 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Come on dude, read my thread and see what I deal with. From your description of your game once you settle this you will have no issue getting serviced.

Don't focus on this crap. It will play itself out, you must focus on your job. You hold all the cards here. You are in the position of power, quit surrendering to her. She does not control you, you control yourself.

With all due respect NewM "I'm sorry, BUT" is not an apology or admission of guilt on my book.

Last edited by King Ding Dong; 03-03-2013 at 05:58 PM.
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Old 03-03-2013, 06:35 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: "count your blessings"

I'm picky, and I don't really have an interest in more routine sex. What I wanted throughout the marriage was more romance and intimacy not routine sex dictated by threats of b-fits, fights and offensive behaviour if the duty isn't performed to expectations. So I will have issues getting back in the game.

A part of me also does feel that I'm holding on too strongly to something and that I may have to compromise a little. But I just can't look at her the same way unless she can prove to me that she's capable of understanding boundaries. Her ignoring safewords when I'm in a vulnerable position also gives me a bad taste in my mouth outside of the bedroom. I don't want to hear her justifications for her behaviour, to me it just means "I'm not sorry", and then her bringing up her guilt from her past just means "look at what YOU put me through"...

*sigh*
As for my business, I don't know anymore really. The only problem with a GM is that they are locked in management contracts which means I'll have limited profits for 3 years. However I can negotiate a "trial" period and fire him/her later, but I won't be getting the good managers this way. I don't know, quite frankly I don't want to do any work. I'm just doing the bare minimal to keep the place running. Unfortunately this means laying off staff instead of pulling in more business.

I need to find some sort of motivation to make money.
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Old 03-03-2013, 06:47 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: "count your blessings"

Try your daughters future. Try your loyalty to your employees that have been loyal to you. Try it for all the good you can contribute back to this world that has given to you. Try it for YOU.

If you roll over and play dead, you have failed those who have looked up to you for leadership. If you can't do that you do not really deserve to be a leader and should just be a follower.

You are better than this and know it.
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