If my spouse said it, it would probably be out of snark or "you get what you get and you better like it" attitude.
So my response would be to eff off.
But in my life, I do count my blessings. It puts things in perspective. Sure, there are things I want, blah blah blah, but bills are paid, house is warm, kids are fed, we are happy and strong and healthy...what more could I ask for? Nothing.
Looks like my wife has her plans on standing her ground over our little debacle in that case. Was wondering when she'll stop being nice, guess it's a sign of things to come unless I give in, oh well, I'll see her today and see what happens. All I want from her is a sincere apology.
But instead, things might be over soon. Now a big part of me just wants to compromise and accept the half-assed apology as I do miss her. *sigh*
Serves me right for being vulnerable with her throughout this reconciliation. Should have kept my heart hardened.
Well, I'm still struggling to maintain my focus and work ethic at the moment. I've practically lost all desire to make money, which is reflected in my work and hence my staff aren't very happy because I have to lay off their hours. We should be recieving much more business through events which are my money makers but now for this week everything is reduced to minimal service.
If anything, I still remember someone told me that my wife has her share of contributions in my business' success then I had realised. Even if it was indirectly... this house, my business, everything we have, I worked for, and it was all for her and our little one. I can live comfortably on a 9-5 job or even part-time, and I lived that way before marriage. Now I have the responsibility of an owner and director with shareholders and stakeholders to please... but no longer the motivation to even shoulder the responsibility anymore. *sigh*
Maybe it would be better if I hire a GM and move on from this. At least it'll give me more peace of mind to focus on myself.
I think when spouses say this it means they have no interest whatsoever in DOING anything nor do they want to see your point of view. It means stop whining because they are tired of listening to it.
FWIW I'm against this phrase. It is up to each person individually to learn this and it's condescending to say it to someone else. It doesn't honor their feelings at all.
I told my aunt something that I was struggling with and she says "count your blessings". Um okay how exactly is that helpful to me NOW? All it did was make me feel worse. Now in addition to being upset now I can add ungrateful to my list. Gee thanks. LOL
I think you are going to far with this v-day apology.She apologized and told you she had no bad intentions.
Explain to her why it was bad thing to do make her acknowledge that she was in the wrong considering other submission thing you had and that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if nothing happened in the past.
Come on dude, read my thread and see what I deal with. From your description of your game once you settle this you will have no issue getting serviced.
Don't focus on this crap. It will play itself out, you must focus on your job. You hold all the cards here. You are in the position of power, quit surrendering to her. She does not control you, you control yourself.
With all due respect NewM "I'm sorry, BUT" is not an apology or admission of guilt on my book.
I'm picky, and I don't really have an interest in more routine sex. What I wanted throughout the marriage was more romance and intimacy not routine sex dictated by threats of b-fits, fights and offensive behaviour if the duty isn't performed to expectations. So I will have issues getting back in the game.
A part of me also does feel that I'm holding on too strongly to something and that I may have to compromise a little. But I just can't look at her the same way unless she can prove to me that she's capable of understanding boundaries. Her ignoring safewords when I'm in a vulnerable position also gives me a bad taste in my mouth outside of the bedroom. I don't want to hear her justifications for her behaviour, to me it just means "I'm not sorry", and then her bringing up her guilt from her past just means "look at what YOU put me through"...
As for my business, I don't know anymore really. The only problem with a GM is that they are locked in management contracts which means I'll have limited profits for 3 years. However I can negotiate a "trial" period and fire him/her later, but I won't be getting the good managers this way. I don't know, quite frankly I don't want to do any work. I'm just doing the bare minimal to keep the place running. Unfortunately this means laying off staff instead of pulling in more business.
I need to find some sort of motivation to make money.