My wife is crazy am I?
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Old 03-13-2013, 12:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default My wife is crazy am I?

I work 5 days a week, long hard hours, literally running back and forth for 9 hrs a day. I did overtime yesterday for 30 mins, and now my wife is convinced I cheated on her and i am a liar..even though she had my car and picked me up from work the 30 mins later. Every few months she goes through some paranoid phase where she's insecure and thinks I'm talking to someone else. Now we just had a baby 8 weeks ago, and I thought preggo hormones gone it'll get better but no..she's verbally and physically abusive now. She throws things at me and says things she knows hurt me alot just to get me truly angry. Today I picked up the 4th thing she threw at me , a lotion, and threw it back...she used our 8 week old as a shield.....I am ready to call it quits now. I can't take this every few months, and with it getting worse. I want my child but do not want her in my life any more. She lies, and manipulates me. Yes she does make me feel loved most times, and yes being with her has been the happiest I have been in 8 or 9 years. But we've been together over a year, she still acts insecure, paranoid and spiteful every few months. Even though she always knows where I am and who I am with. She keeps throwing fits and says hurtful stuff like, "It's not your baby, it's criag's." "Why you want this kid you know it's not yours."
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Old 03-13-2013, 12:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

Post Partum Depression?

Has a doctor seen her for this?

Edit:

Get a DNA test and shut her up about it.
Bonus points if it is Craig's, you no longer have to care if she's got PPD.
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Old 03-13-2013, 12:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
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You both need help. And who's Criag?

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Old 03-13-2013, 01:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

PPD or not... who the hell is Craig and why is she talking about him???
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Old 03-13-2013, 01:26 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

8 weeks may not be enough time for hormones to be done regulating themselves... They took 9 months (10 months)? To get that way... Took me several months to feel somewhat normal again after giving birth.

And I read, "threw it back...she used our 8 week old as a shield...." As you are throwing something even remotely in his direction and attempting to JUST blame her? WTF. Seriously, if you're NOT hormonal yourself, why the hell are you "playing along"? I don't think it's right that she's throwing things at you, but this statement right here speaks volumes about why she may be upset. Not trying to blame you, but it takes TWO to resolve or escalate a problem. Poor response on your part, IMO.

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"It's not your baby, it's criag's." "Why you want this kid you know it's not yours."
Yes, who is Craig???
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Old 03-13-2013, 01:27 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

ProT-
She has major PPD, she's not crazy she needs a doctor. She's not at a point where she's able to control her emotions, if you were to physically see the lvl of hormones it takes to stay PG and then it drops extremely fast afterwards, not giving the body/mind time to catch up. You need to talk to her when she least expects it, you have to watch your words carefully and let her know you love her unconditionally but you fear that she's in extreme emotional pain that you are not trained to deal with, reassure her that you will stand beside her through this and you can no longer watch her suffer, they have some meds they can give to help calm her down, but honestly she's NOT crazy she needs some help, you have no idea what her body and mind have been through. Please see her through this, it will get better if you are commited to her, she will come back around!!!
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Old 03-13-2013, 02:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

I'm not blaming just her, but i don't know what to do. I dunno who the hell craig is, she just said it one day durning a fight. I reacted, I let her goad me on, i fked up. But she hasnt been positive since june, and I really feel at witts end. She pushes all my buttons on purpose to piss me off, she's said as much before. She gets bored and tries to tick me off, because she's bored. We were going to therapy then moved. Now it all seems just screwed.
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Old 03-13-2013, 02:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ProTeddy View Post
I work 5 days a week, long hard hours, literally running back and forth for 9 hrs a day. I did overtime yesterday for 30 mins, and now my wife is convinced I cheated on her and i am a liar..even though she had my car and picked me up from work the 30 mins later. Every few months she goes through some paranoid phase where she's insecure and thinks I'm talking to someone else. Now we just had a baby 8 weeks ago, and I thought preggo hormones gone it'll get better but no..she's verbally and physically abusive now. She throws things at me and says things she knows hurt me alot just to get me truly angry. Today I picked up the 4th thing she threw at me , a lotion, and threw it back...she used our 8 week old as a shield.....I am ready to call it quits now. I can't take this every few months, and with it getting worse. I want my child but do not want her in my life any more. She lies, and manipulates me. Yes she does make me feel loved most times, and yes being with her has been the happiest I have been in 8 or 9 years. But we've been together over a year, she still acts insecure, paranoid and spiteful every few months. Even though she always knows where I am and who I am with. She keeps throwing fits and says hurtful stuff like, "It's not your baby, it's criag's." "Why you want this kid you know it's not yours."
Get a DNA test anyway.
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Old 03-13-2013, 02:19 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

Then why would she say you know the baby's not yours? Why didn't you do a DNA test then? Why didn't you ask her what she meant?

You say you've been together over a year... How long dating and how long married? What was she like before the child came along? Has she given any signs of cheating?

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Old 03-13-2013, 06:17 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ProTeddy View Post
I'm not blaming just her, but i don't know what to do. I dunno who the hell craig is, she just said it one day durning a fight. I reacted, I let her goad me on, i fked up. But she hasnt been positive since june, and I really feel at witts end. She pushes all my buttons on purpose to piss me off, she's said as much before. She gets bored and tries to tick me off, because she's bored. We were going to therapy then moved. Now it all seems just screwed.
This is an abusive spouse, worse now with Post Partum Depression.

It's good that you were going to therapy, but better get back in there. For her to see how abusive she is and for you to learn not to let her push your buttons.

Some really malicious women want to push you to the point of striking them so that they can call the cops and then really put the screws to you. I had one who did that to her ex-husband and tried it with me. I never fell for it but wow she assaulted me every which-way from Sunday to try provoking me.
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Old 03-13-2013, 09:07 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

Wow, MAJOR post partum! She really needs meds!
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Old 03-13-2013, 09:15 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

OP, your W isn't crazy, but she feels crazy right now and needs professional help.

Many years back I suffered from severe post natal depression and, at times, felt like a terrified 3 year old that was out of control.

Your W needs your support, and right now the best way to support her is by encouraging her to seek immediate professional help.
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Old 03-14-2013, 11:50 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

I also was a woman who had major postpartum depression. It is horrible and makes you feel out of control, at least it did for me. I didn't throw tantrums, I was just like bi-polar. I was happy, then crying, then mad...it sucked! Just wanted to put my two cents in just to show that ppd is pretty common, even if it isn't to the extreme your wife may be going through.
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Old 03-14-2013, 12:06 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

Get an appointment for a therapist. Do what he tells you.
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Old 03-19-2013, 03:45 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife is crazy am I?

I recommend you keep a VAR on your person, (voice activated recorder) for your protection.

A relatively new relationship + moving + a demanding job + a new baby = a lot of stress for both of you.

As suggested she needs to be checked out by a doctor.

Do NOT ever throw anything at her again, especially when she is holding the baby. This could be used against you to get a restraining order, and have you removed from your home.

I would encourage you to also seek counseling to help you cope with the situation.
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