When A Man Looks At Your Wife
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default When A Man Looks At Your Wife

As a spin off to the Looking At Women thread, what about when a man looks at your wife? As a woman, it doesn't bother me when my DH checks out another woman, 'cause I do it too. I check out both men and women. And I know men look at me. It drives DH crazy. I don't do anything to draw undue attention to myself, and am usually emitting my 'pi$$ off vibe', but still...they look. Sometimes they approach, but never when DH is near.

So if I mention to DH that a certain guy was looking at me, smiled or waved, winked or whatever, he gets mad. He goes all cave man and "point him out" "why didn't you show him to me" "I'd give him something to smile about". I don't get the disconnect. Why is it alright for HIM to look at other women, but not alright for other men to look at me?

So guys, what is the deal? Do you care if other men check out your wives or does it send you back to the cave man days?
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:21 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: When A Man Looks At Your Wife

Nope I love it. I just smile inside and think yep shes mine. Go get your own pal! Seriously I think of her as arm candy. I'm proud to have one other guys want.
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: When A Man Looks At Your Wife

In some strange sort of cave-woman way, I wish my husband would act like this and be spurned to feel 'Don't-you-dare-gaze-at-my-girl' (I know its juvenile, but I never denied that I don't act like one sometimes!)

However, he is not romantic/wild like that. I remember when we were about to be married, I asked him what he'd do if others gazed/cat-called/stared at me...I was hoping he'd say something like 'I'd be really pissed off and yada yada'...instead his reaction was 'Why, I check out other girls...so other guys would do the same to mine too, right?' I remember feeling a distinctive sense of disappointment as soon as I heard that...

Lol thankfully for me, the reality is not exactly that way...

I've learnt over time that my husband (who's not a fired-up beast of testosterone) is actually practical and realistic (which really makes sense in the long run I guess *sigh*) He is petite by build and not really cut out to fight. He is not very physical/sporty/athletic and if a confrontation occurred, I guess he would not be able to overcome the other party unless they were of a similar build. Therefore, he takes the wise way out.

Any place that we KNOW would constitute lots of gazing-ogling-staring is never part of our outing schedules (like clubs, bars etc) In other public places if it was one man doing something like this, he'd just brush it off - it wouldn't bother him. But, if he felt I was attracting the attraction of anyone unhealthy then he'd probably just take me and exit the scene.

His motto is always better safe than sorry!

Last edited by Zing; 03-14-2013 at 05:28 PM.
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: When A Man Looks At Your Wife

My wife gets looks all the time. She's very attractive,even at 52 and she is well endowed, naturally.

I don't mind guys looking at her. I do mind when they 'stare'. I have had to tell guys to knock it off at bars when they don't blink or look away after a few minutes..

Stalking isn't something I tolerate.
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:26 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: When A Man Looks At Your Wife

When I was with my X...

It depended on the guy. Sure, if they were good looking or alpha or something, I might feel a little threatened. Mostly it was just dudes leering or being smoothy eyed, so I just gave them 'the look'. If it was an appreciative look from an older chap then I didn't mind. In fact I kind of liked it: "yep, she's mine".
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: When A Man Looks At Your Wife

I love it.

I know who she's going home with.
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I know my woman's good looking and is going to get attention. If it's just a casual look, no biggie, but if it turns into a stare then it's disrespectful and then we have a problem.
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:35 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Women have never understood that the rules apply to others, not us.
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:38 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: When A Man Looks At Your Wife

I would be so turned off if my husband had a problem with some guy looking at me. That to me shows total insecurity. Be proud that a guy is looking at your woman.
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:41 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by samyeagar View Post
I know my woman's good looking and is going to get attention. If it's just a casual look, no biggie, but if it turns into a stare then it's disrespectful and then we have a problem.
THIS. This is what my DH says all the time. Disrespectful to him? Or to me? And if it's disrespectful to me, shouldn't *I* be the one to get upset/angry/defensive? How is it disrespectful to him? I don't understand. If a person looks at me, how does that even affect DH? I don't see why it has to matter to either of us, especially if the looker is a stranger.
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:46 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: When A Man Looks At Your Wife

The Mrs is very pretty and sexy thus why I married her

I have often noticed guys taking a double take when they see her which deep inside makes me very proud that she's all .... mine !!!!
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:47 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I don't mind at all....I love it because the Princess is all mine.

Sometimes I will even say....that guy over there is checking you out. She gets embarrassed and just holds onto to me even more.

Last week, we ate at The Texas Roadhouse steakhouse. We were sitting in a booth, across from each other. She slipped off her high heels and had her feet in my lap....teasing me as usual. There were at least 6 guys (and some wives) at other tables nearby glued to what she was doing and smiling at her. Neither of us had any issue with it. It was fun!

She also turns heads when we are in the grocery store....especially the cold food aisle. Her bra's are thin, and you know what happens. She just smiles and squeezes my hand tighter when she is being noticed. No problem on my part.

Bottom line, my Princess is gorgeous and I know others notice her details. I think deep down...most women like this kind of attention...even though they won't usually admit it.
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:48 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: When A Man Looks At Your Wife

Therealbrighteyes is right, it is a sign of insecurity. Have you ever noticed that unimpressive men with attractive partners always have their arms across their shoulders? Like they are afraid to let her go?
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:49 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by LadyOfTheLake View Post
THIS. This is what my DH says all the time. Disrespectful to him? Or to me? And if it's disrespectful to me, shouldn't *I* be the one to get upset/angry/defensive? How is it disrespectful to him? I don't understand. If a person looks at me, how does that even affect DH? I don't see why it has to matter to either of us, especially if the looker is a stranger.
If a guy is 'leering' at you then it IS disrespectful to you and your husband...

It's a man thing. IMO any guy who wants to leer at my wife while I am standing/sitting with her is challenging my 'Y' chromisome.

It's an alpha thing.. watch animal planet. You'll see.

Keep in mind I am talking about leering, not just looking.
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Old 03-14-2013, 05:50 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: When A Man Looks At Your Wife

I enjoy it.

We live next to both an Army and Air Force Base which means thousands of extra young, in-shape single guys drooling over the short supply of women in a small community.

It's pretty brazen, especially if it is a whole big table full of soldiers talking about her at a restaurant. I smile at them & nod, and they smile back or laugh. Other men aren't a threat.

The funniest incident was when I first brought her here as a 19 year old. We split up at the sporting goods store, so I could go to the back and start filling out her hunting license while she looked at gloves.

The guy in the back was about my age. She started approaching the counter, and the closer she got to me the more confused he looked. When she grabbed my arm and leaned against me, he was frozen in shock, eyes as big as saucers. He looked like he was going to fall over, but then caught his composure.
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