Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?
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Old 04-12-2013, 10:11 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

I'd like to read about men's experiences when dealing with women.

I used to hear a lot that men prefer stability, but then I see situations in which the guy seems to like that edgy woman.

In my situation, I am amazed with my fiance's EA and how she asked about me a lot.... I was told that asking about the "competition" showed insecurity and therefore unattractive...... but some of the other things that she would say to him...... hmmmm.


and my ex husband seemed to favor edgy women as well.....

tell me about a situation in which you were had a relationship with a edgy women ---whether for a few months or a few years ---- what was he giving you that made you want to put up with this edginess?
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Old 04-12-2013, 12:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

When you are young ... late teens, early 20's, who knows even mid - 20's.... the girl with the edge, you felt accomplished because alot of guys would avoid them, because they didn't want to be bothered with the drama that came with. And also, some of these "edgier" women would be amazing in bed, its hard to explain, but their edginess did not stop out side the bedroom. So you knew, if nothing else, you going to be engaged in some amazing s3x.

Me personally... that get's old fast. These women...are not "wife" material to me. I don't have time for drama, i like calmness, stability, peace and quiet in regards to a wife. Give me regular s3x from my calm wife, then amazing s#x from a woman i can barely stand any day.
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Old 04-12-2013, 01:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

I'm pretty edgy and my husband loves me very much.

He is also edgy.

Agreed that being edgy can sometimes cause drama...it doesn't have to, though. We have cleaned up the drama and just kept the edge.
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Old 04-12-2013, 01:35 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

CALM

Got enough other drama and stress in my life as it is
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Old 04-12-2013, 01:39 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

I think everyone is drawn to "edgy" at times. But that doesn't always equal "drama."

Asking about the competition...??? That sounds like Drama. I would say most men are not drawn to Drama.
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Old 04-12-2013, 01:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

Every person is different.

I know guys who are the biggest drama queens.. I mean hetero men.

Some guys, just like some women, like a variety of experiences.

Some guys like stability all the time.
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Old 04-12-2013, 01:54 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

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Originally Posted by NextTimeAround View Post
I'd like to read about men's experiences when dealing with women.

I used to hear a lot that men prefer stability, but then I see situations in which the guy seems to like that edgy woman.

In my situation, I am amazed with my fiance's EA and how she asked about me a lot.... I was told that asking about the "competition" showed insecurity and therefore unattractive...... but some of the other things that she would say to him...... hmmmm.


and my ex husband seemed to favor edgy women as well.....

tell me about a situation in which you were had a relationship with a edgy women ---whether for a few months or a few years ---- what was he giving you that made you want to put up with this edginess?
I'm married to an edgy woman and it's definitely a rollercoaster ride for me. We fought just last night about her need for drama, drama, drama, which to her signals that we still have passion for each other. She took a day off last week and spent it fighting with me rather than us doing what we planned, which to her was a great use of the day.

I want and need calm, at least most of the time. She can have her drama, but then she needs to take a day off. If her A has any silver lining, it's that I've learned I can live without her and she knows this. I've made it clear that I will D if necessary if things don't get better, and part of that is her not being "edgy" 24/7. I'm sure mine is an extreme case though.
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

IMO, drama only becomes drama through lack of boundaries and / or communication. Making people accountable for their own behaviour can cut down on the amount of drama they're likely to create in the future.
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:09 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

I don't think I understand what "drama" means. I may never have. I always thought of drama as the normal things which cause distress between two people in a relationship. I don't mean just marriage relationships. I'm thinking along the lines of parent/child, sibling disagreements, relationships with old girlfriends/boyfriends, etc. I guess I am thinking of the normal things which we all have to confront in everyday life. They get multiplied by two in marriage. Is that what you are talking about?
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:10 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

You can do dramatic things like push through a blizzard together, fighting the elements together and making it home alive. Making the olympic team.

But when you have a toxic woman who makes getting up in the morning a crisis by shaking you out of a dead sleep screaming about something before you have had coffee, it is time for the strychnine solution.
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

We are currently attempting R.. my wife seems to thrive on drama/edgy.... It wears on me. But I love the heck out of her... it's weird.
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:14 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wiserforit View Post
You can do dramatic things like push through a blizzard together, fighting the elements together and making it home alive. Making the olympic team.

But when you have a toxic woman who makes getting up in the morning a crisis by shaking you out of a dead sleep screaming about something before you have had coffee, it is time for the strychnine solution.
Your first paragraph is full of life. Trying to work together toward marital and personal goals is filled with drama. Much of it is inherent to attempting to meet the goals. That is the stuff of life and I think unavoidable in whole.
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:14 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

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Originally Posted by Wiserforit View Post
You can do dramatic things like push through a blizzard together, fighting the elements together and making it home alive. Making the olympic team.

But when you have a toxic woman who makes getting up in the morning a crisis by shaking you out of a dead sleep screaming about something before you have had coffee, it is time for the strychnine solution.
Lol, my wife used to wake me at 5:30 a.m. to rant at me if it was raining. This is the kind of behavior I just can't do anymore. We're attempting R but I will never go back to putting up with that nonsense.
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:24 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wiserforit View Post
You can do dramatic things like push through a blizzard together, fighting the elements together and making it home alive. Making the olympic team.

But when you have a toxic woman who makes getting up in the morning a crisis by shaking you out of a dead sleep screaming about something before you have had coffee, it is time for the strychnine solution.


I want good drama, the kind that binds us together as a solid , unbreakable unit, and helps us bond.
The kind that we could look back on and see how we've grown closer.

Not the entitled BS.
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Old 04-12-2013, 03:42 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Do men like drama, calm or somewhere in between?

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Originally Posted by 2ntnuf View Post
Your first paragraph is full of life. .
If you are doing it right in Alaska then a once-in-a-lifetime experience happens only every six months or so. At eight months pregnant our snowmachine broke down six miles from home, thirty below zero, pitch black from cloud cover, on a trail system I hadn't used for years. We could not go out the way we came in because it was far too long but I was a little confused taking the shortest route because the dog mushers had made new trails I was unfamiliar with and in thick forest everthing looks the same.

What is so interesting about this life is how oppressive the dead silence is. It feels like this tremendous pressue squeezing in on you, and on that night it seemed very much the same as competing in front of 15,000 screaming fans where you can feel the building shake. You look at each other and not a word between you though, on through the night trudging in the snow. Standing at an intersection, not being certain, but you have to make a decision. Will this add hours going the wrong way and having to return? Will I have to build a snow shelter and leave her? But eventually you faintly hear a dog lot howling in the distance, and you know you are going the right way. But you still have a loooooong way to go, the dominant sound being the footsteps in the snow.

We have so many of these together on a somewhat lesser scale. Felling a hundred foot tree together when it has to go exactly the right way to clear the other trees so it doesn't kick back and squash the both of you. Bears popping out suddenly - what's this guy gonna do? A river rising after you barely crossed it the first time on your four-wheeler. Waking up to forest fires. Talk about moments of panic.

But you're on the same team and there's no yelling at each other. All the bad drama is from being on opposing teams.
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