Re: Asking for a sexual hiatus..good or bad idea?
NoraJane, & a few others, thank you for truly getting it.
It's amazing how this thread has become like a game of telephone. By the later part, the main problems are so misconstrued that I've now become an emplorable ***** who is denying her husband sex because he won't take out the garbage. That's extremely insulting, but being that noone here really knows me I guess I can't take it too personal.
I completely understand that this is a very sensitive subject to people, especially here. However, the sweeping accusations, thinking in absolute terms, black or white, is too short-sighted to provide actual guidance..it's all more of a defense, maybe stemming from personal feelings. I understand that & that's okay.
Its frustrating to hear man after man want his wife to change this or that regarding their sexual life, or any part of their life together & there are plenty of supporters for that, and ALL these suggestions as to how to make an otherwise LD woman try all these new sexual things, for HIS gratification, for the sake of their marriage, for a closer bond, etc..
The things I am asking for are not difficult to provide & he has provided them before.
He's just getting lazy...no not after a hard day at work- that is total BS. After a hard day at work, he has a good dinner, a massage, etc..
He's getting lazy about remembering that his wife has certain needs too- ones that will create a closer bond if remembered & followed through with.
Yet, here I am struggling to get him to hear me, but I should not try to change him. Why? Why does he get to get away with being however he wants, but I need to sit back & take it?
Makes zero sense...what does make sense is that sex is a form of connection & bonding & I feel bad putting the brakes on that. It doesn't feel great, no.
But honestly, what else would make an equally powerful impact? Probably nothing.
If he resents me & goes elsewhere because he can't get his **** together & follow through with what he promises to do...
like be emotionally supportive, physically supportive, on a regular basis, then he gets to live with the fact that the decline of our marriage began with his declining efforts.
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