08-16-2009, 11:44 AM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: central NY
| | Please..some perspective?
I have been married to the same woman for 23 years. I had an affair a few years ago and thought we had moved past it, although there are occasional issues. Recently, she had become more distant and continued requests to talk about what was going on went unanswered. In fact, she said we had no problem. I was desperate to find out what was going on and hatched a scheme to contact her via email as someone she had known in the past. No relationship or sexual experience with this person, only an attraction years ago. The first email was just typical of someone catching up. Next, I wrote (as the guy) that I had always been attracted to her. She wrote back that she and her husband (me) had been having problems of late and if he could set aside his friendship with me, she would like to talk about it.
So far, so good. It looked as though I had found a way in. I wrote back that I was no expert but I would try to help. Her reply was bumped up a notch. She replied she had always been attracted to me and was disappointed nothing had ever happened. I then raised the stakes and basically said I always thought I (the guy) could have had her. Was I right and what about now? Her reply? Nothing has changed and she is very hot now. His (my) reply? I need to see see (sex) you now or tomorrow. Her reply? It would take some planning but she was on vacation next week...wish it could be now.
Well, this all took place in one hour of the first reply. After her last response, I rush home and went in the house where she knew as soon as she saw me. She was furious...said I set her up.
We are trying but she acts like she did almost nothing wrong and that I am the cause of it all. I remember how I hurt when I betrayed her and I see none of that in her. What gives? A little help would be good, because I am hurting.