Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships »The Men's Clubhouse » Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

The Men's Clubhouse Talk about life's dilemmas.

Like Tree16Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-20-2009, 05:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 488
Unhappy Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

Those of you in the UK may have heard of these.

Basically, its a holiday camp where, during the off season, they have adults only theme weekends. Like 80s, 90s etc with tribute bands or whatever. Then theres fancy dress etc.

Due to its nature I've heard that it can be a bit of a shag fest for obvious reasons.

Anyway, my wife has booked to go and I'm a bit worried (again). I trust her etc and am 99.9% sure she'd never do anything but I still dont like these weekends.

Shes been before and its all been fine, and she says shes jsut going for a girls weekend etc.

Any other fellas worry about things like this? Or is it just me?
psychocandy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 10-20-2009, 07:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
okeydokie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,169
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

um yeah, i would be worried and pizzed. do you do similar things? do you take off from her for days at a time and visit a place thats known for this type of activity? it isnt like she is going to and antique festival or a hobby workshop for gosh sakes.
okeydokie is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-20-2009, 07:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 171
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

ummm. i would say flat out "no, not with out me" then again, i have put up with a lot and have no intentions of doing it any loner i take it you have already told her your uncomfortable with it? so ask her if you can spend the weekend visiting singles bars? (with budies of course... you know, a guys weekend lol) maybe she will make the comparison
__________________
My marriage is a wreck.... But hopefully, with time, patience and love, that will change. Pray for me as i will pray for all of you, not that our marriages get better, not that our loved one turn around but that we all shall find happiness, piece, love, trust and confidence....
GOD bless and good luck, we all need it.
hoping is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-20-2009, 08:24 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 488
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

Thing is I dont feel I've the right to say - no you aint going. It also as if me saying that I dont want her to go is like saying I dont trust her also.

And yes, I've been away with my friends for weekends etc and my wife has said she'd have no problem with me going away on a similar thing.
psychocandy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-20-2009, 08:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
brighterlight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 903
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

PC, so if good looking bloke struck up a conversation with her at the camp and started sweet talking his way into her psyche; she would tell him to leave her alone - right? Ummm, No; as much as I trust my wife, we are all human and subject to weakness - most people crave attention. So, yeah I would be bothered by her going.

Have you had a serious sit down conversation with her about how YOU feel. About how YOU feel not her feelings on it. She needs to realize it is bothering you. Good Luck, I've been through this only in my case it was a nightclub - dancing - yeah right.
brighterlight is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-20-2009, 09:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 488
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

Quote:
Originally Posted by brighterlight View Post
PC, so if good looking bloke struck up a conversation with her at the camp and started sweet talking his way into her psyche; she would tell him to leave her alone - right? Ummm, No; as much as I trust my wife, we are all human and subject to weakness - most people crave attention. So, yeah I would be bothered by her going.

Have you had a serious sit down conversation with her about how YOU feel. About how YOU feel not her feelings on it. She needs to realize it is bothering you. Good Luck, I've been through this only in my case it was a nightclub - dancing - yeah right.
So are you saying you wouldnt let your wife go to a nightclub with her friends?

I'm sorry but thats well OTT.
psychocandy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-20-2009, 09:39 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
brighterlight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 903
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

Nope, not without me or one of my sisters. It's a meat market and it's already bit me in the arse once. Won't do it again even though she has changed.
brighterlight is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-20-2009, 09:48 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 488
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

Quote:
Originally Posted by brighterlight View Post
Nope, not without me or one of my sisters. It's a meat market and it's already bit me in the arse once. Won't do it again even though she has changed.
Yes. It is a meat market but there aint anywhere these days that aint.

I can see your point if your partner has had previous issues with this, but I';m not so sure as a general rule. My wife has never done anything and I cant stop her going out.

Also, I'd be peeved if she stopped me going out too.
psychocandy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-21-2009, 04:02 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 488
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

I would disagree here. Maybe we come from different cultures but here in the UK, a night out for a lot of people (not all of course) depending on what u like is out in town for a drink, niteclub etc.

A LOT of married people will do this. I've been away on rugby trips invoklving drink, pubs, clubs etc.

However, WHEREVER you go, theres fellas on the look out. EVERYWHERE. Also, some girls too...

This Butlins thing is advertised as a fun weekend, fancy dress, retro music and bands etc. They cater for it as such. However, as per usual, you're gonna get some adult activity.

However, as I've since found out, there are LOADS of people who go just for the fun of it.

I just wouldnt feel comfortable stopping my wife going out etc. It would be me controlling her and not trusting her.

Am I right your in the US? :-)
psychocandy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-21-2009, 05:51 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 47
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

P,

Did you not internet research it, its part shagging time.

I am perplexed via your post.

Almost as if you pushing your wife to alternate lifestyle.
CMC125 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-21-2009, 07:24 AM   #11 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 377
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

What the f**k is it about these women? They think they can do whatever they want, regardless of how TOTALLY inappropriate, just because they tell you first? Nice to tell you, but you WON'T BE THERE!!

Here's the deal, man. My wife of 7 years, mother of my 2 children, got our second baby off of the breast, got in shape, and was out the door fast and hard. What could I say? It was just dancing with a girlfriend. But after much advice from folks on this board, I felt comfortable puttign a stop to it. And let me tell you, between what LITTLE she wold tell me, truth and lies, I put together a picture of a hard partying bar girl. Just "dancing" was a LIE. She was fooling me into thinking I would "unenlightened" to have a problem with her activity that ANY OTHER husband in the world would have put a stop to immediately.

Go on the internet. Google "singles vacations" or "singles cruises". Print out some literature. It's been a while, but "Hedonism" of "Hedonism II" would be good. Hand them to her and say"sorry you want to take separate vacations. I like going with you, but if it's what you want, we'll do it. I'm narrowing it down to these choices".

SHE CAN'T GO. And you are WELL within your rights to stop her..
cody5 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-21-2009, 08:16 AM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 488
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

Quote:
Originally Posted by CMC125 View Post
P,

Did you not internet research it, its part shagging time.

I am perplexed via your post.

Almost as if you pushing your wife to alternate lifestyle.
Hmm. Not sure where u get that from.
psychocandy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-21-2009, 08:22 AM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 488
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

Quote:
Originally Posted by cody5 View Post
What the f**k is it about these women? They think they can do whatever they want, regardless of how TOTALLY inappropriate, just because they tell you first? Nice to tell you, but you WON'T BE THERE!!

Here's the deal, man. My wife of 7 years, mother of my 2 children, got our second baby off of the breast, got in shape, and was out the door fast and hard. What could I say? It was just dancing with a girlfriend. But after much advice from folks on this board, I felt comfortable puttign a stop to it. And let me tell you, between what LITTLE she wold tell me, truth and lies, I put together a picture of a hard partying bar girl. Just "dancing" was a LIE. She was fooling me into thinking I would "unenlightened" to have a problem with her activity that ANY OTHER husband in the world would have put a stop to immediately.

Go on the internet. Google "singles vacations" or "singles cruises". Print out some literature. It's been a while, but "Hedonism" of "Hedonism II" would be good. Hand them to her and say"sorry you want to take separate vacations. I like going with you, but if it's what you want, we'll do it. I'm narrowing it down to these choices".

SHE CAN'T GO. And you are WELL within your rights to stop her..
Confused here. So was your wife up to something or did you stop because you didnt like it?

I do think the term adult is being lost in translation somewhere over the mid-atlantic here....
psychocandy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-21-2009, 08:32 AM   #14 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 377
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

Yes. I think the term "adult" is getting lost intranslation. I looked at the website and some YouTube videos, and it does look harmless. I'm just wondering what your concern was then.

And yes, I stopped her because I didn't like it. Read my threads if you are really that interested. In the States, the types of clubs she went to are better known for hookups than dancing. Some girls go to dance, some to get laid. The ones that go to dance are a little less secretive than the ones that go to get laid. And for some reason, there is no lying involved with the dancers, jut the "partiers".

Last edited by cody5; 10-21-2009 at 08:33 AM. Reason: spelling
cody5 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-21-2009, 08:50 AM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 488
Default Re: Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going

Quote:
Originally Posted by cody5 View Post
Yes. I think the term "adult" is getting lost intranslation. I looked at the website and some YouTube videos, and it does look harmless. I'm just wondering what your concern was then.

And yes, I stopped her because I didn't like it. Read my threads if you are really that interested. In the States, the types of clubs she went to are better known for hookups than dancing. Some girls go to dance, some to get laid. The ones that go to dance are a little less secretive than the ones that go to get laid. And for some reason, there is no lying involved with the dancers, jut the "partiers".
Cody,

Yeh. I'm just really paranoid and insecure I guess.

I'll take a look at your threads. Here in the UK, there is a big alcohol/pub/club culture. There are no singles places really (or not many at least) just mainline clubs in all small towns. Unfortunately, most if not all of these places will house usually young lads looking to get laid or start a fight or both. This means that those who want a quiet drink, those who want some dancing etc with friends, and those who want to get out of their head on drink are all in the same place. This is why most UK town centres are pretty much a no-go zone at weekend.

My wife has recently stopped drinking and instead prefers to drive when shes out. Much safer and avoids the major hassle that is getting a cab home. You should see the fights at the taxi ranks !!!
psychocandy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
wife goes out on weekends too much IMO mtyfmog General Relationship Discussion 39 09-14-2012 05:52 PM
He spends weekends away with ex-wife and kids? SeekingClarity The Family & Parenting Forums 52 03-16-2012 12:23 AM
Adult Child & Wife PioneerJob The Family & Parenting Forums 3 02-18-2012 04:02 PM
Wife texting and talking to coworker on nights and weekends Chevelle The Men's Clubhouse 14 04-02-2010 05:37 AM
Butlins adult theme weekends - wife going psychocandy General Relationship Discussion 19 03-05-2010 03:03 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:59 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.