gabejoel

Do all happily and sexually satisfied men still miss sleeping with other women? Is that natural? Is it normal to miss the chase and what you get from one to the next?

bcburdoa

It's a grass is greener on the other side type of thing. Because we can't, we miss it,
and we do enjoy the chase.

joevn

The grass may be greener on the other side but you still have to water it.

Actually, we are a well-meshed machine in and out of bed. My wife (46) is also hot so that helps. I'm not wealthy (depending on what that means) but I'm at a station in life where women are noticing me for things other than my dwindling looks so an affair is not that difficult--but what's the thrill. My wife knows better than anyone what my kinks are and what I don't really care for so that's hot. She also orgasms 3-5 times when we get together (before I get mine, she gets hers) so that is great for my ego.

Miss the chase? I still court and chase and pursue her. Sure I have access to her booty anytime, but I KNOW when looking in her eyes when she feels "in love" and "romanced" and "special" and those are the feelings I am after. The sex is REALLY hot when she's in those moods.

ChimeIn

"She also orgasms 3-5 times when we get together (before I get mine, she gets hers) so that is great for my ego."

Joe... this intrigues me. In my marriage my husband regularly gives me 2-3 orgasms when we have sex... but its still not frequent sex. I was feeling guilty that I was having multiple orgasms when he sometimes is unable to achieve even one. This gives me a different viewpoint to think about.

I'm not sure if my husband feels great about the number of orgasms he's given me... but it helps me realize that maybe I should still initiate sex even if its not great for him (i.e. he can't get there). I was feeling selfish because I knew I could get there...

dobo

What's your husband's problem, ChimeIn? Delayed ejaculation? ED? What's he done to try to resolve the problem?

joevn

Oh no Chimein. I think you overthink it.

As a husband, I love love LOVE it knowing that my lover skills are sharp after years of marriage. I bet most guys who love their wives don't mind one bit that their wives act (by her enjoying herself so completely) like he's the don juan in her life.

As long as you put in the effort, it shouldn't matter. It's not like my wife doesn't put in the effort or doesn't want me to come. It's about getting what each of us wants. And sometimes, it's just fun that we want instead of getting there as quickly as possible.

Without getting too graphic, a lot of it is about the closeness, the closure of joining at one end and completing the circle with kisses on our lips, the slick skin-on-skin, and my wife's scent, skin, hair caressing wherever I put my cheek, my hand, etc... Her shortening breath, stiffening body, and the clenching/releasing are all telling my ego "you are a great lover." What's not to like. We laugh afterwards.

I come once each time (yeah, being a middle age guy sucks--j/k), occassionally none. But that is the "extra fun" part. Without the "extra fun", that doesn't negate the "earlier fun" (she gets her goes first--it works well for us that way) and the ego-stroking.

What you want to be careful about (and I'm very mindful) is not make it about "woman: you have to get 3 orgasms or we are a failure." Pressure sucks. On either the husband or the wife. It's about silly adult fun for us. If we mess around and feel lazy and either she or I have just one (or none) but still have fun--that's great too. But usually, she goes from 3 to 5.

Lastly, and back to the topic. Keep in mind that we men can give ourselves a VERY good "O" with five fingers and some good mental image. I'm very practiced at it--all through college when I was horny every hour of the day. With middle-age slowing hormones and a willing wife, I have less need for mast*rbation but having my wife demonstrate so clearly that she adores my lover skills and what I do for her when we make love--what's not to feel good about?