11-07-2009, 06:57 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
| | Really: do you believe this story? HELP!
Ok, so my H has admitted to not only recently having an "Emotional Affair" - meaning online/photos/phone, but also to having had a physical affair about 10 years ago. He promises he's come clean on everything.
I just need a guys reality check.
Do you believe this story...
The "emotional affair" exposed most recently was never physical - as in actual contact (so he promises). There was emotion - lots of affection - shared. There were very sexual photos - some under his 'direction' - as in 'change the angle.' There were many solo biz trips. I found an email in which he was bragging to a friend that he was meeting her (out of town). This went on for a few months - then he revealed too much to me - as in told my sons at the dinner table that he was invited (out of town) as 'her' date. That was it for me - I knew that what I thought was a professional relationship was completely crossing a line. Went to his email - found much - confronted him - he confessed - ended it (i am sure of this) - then eventually in stages mind you across a number of months confessed answers to my questions in dealing with this all. (He also confessed at this time to the other affair that was physical 10 years ago.)
Important note, the person he had the recent EA with was actually a prostitute. Was in the past, now is more 'living off other married men's financial support - as she literally brags. This is not a normal person - and she clearly knows how to get what she needs. She made my H feel like a rock star.
My question for you. Am I an idiot to dare to believe his promise that "his hands never touched her" and that they were never actually in the same city after their first meeting? (That the time I found that text the plans were actually changed and they never actually crossed paths.) During the affair he was out of town traveling probably at half the time - as in PLENTY of opportunity.
What do you think? Is it possible that a very aggressive prostitute matched with a history-of-lying & cheating mid-life crisis sex-crazed guy might actually have ended the relationship - the highly sexually erotic relationship, without the physical? (He admitted that if he did end up in the same city as her at some point he would have undoubtedly had sex.)
He says he wanted me to find out, wanted to hurt me because he didn't think I cared for him any more, and gave too much of my time to others (kids/community/etc). And that when it was getting too much, he 'got sick of it" (the affair) and wanted it to end, so dropped way too many clues to not be found out.
You don't know him, you don't know me. But what do you think? Am I a complete idiot to believe him?