Re: Fiancées tattoo.
Andy, you told her it was a deal breaker. It isn't ridiculous to hold your ground on it. Some like them, some don't. She knew from the start how you feel about them. Personally, I have thought about getting one from time to time, but haven't found anything that would REALLY push me to get one. Even then, I would discuss with my husband, first. Sure, it's my body. But, I also ascribe to the notion of "two become one". I have equal say over his body, and he over mine.
Technically, you have no say over what she does. However, she knows the consequences of getting a tattoo. It isn't a good idea to continue in a relationship after she decided to go against something you agreed on, without discussing it with you, first... and staying because you love her son is not a good enough reason to marry.
I suspect you would have been a bit more supportive, had she presented it to you in a different manner, and if it wasn't such a large tattoo. Maybe, had it been a ribbon, or something small, as a remembrance, and if she had said, "I know we agreed on this, but I feel really strongly about this." And explained her reasons.
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You can use the 2x4 without adding nails to it.