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post #916 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 08:42 AM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
Really? So, if I wanted to take a 3 hour lunch at a day spa I should be able to do that even if my boss doesn't like it? If I wanted to have sex with random men I should be able to do that even if my husband doesn't like it?
God, I like this.

Even though I should not.

And you should not.....too and also a too true.

Random men..........we are all random....until we are not.
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .......
Some people stand in their own light and wonder why others cannot see their "point".

Being right all the time gets to be boring. Humility lets you start at a lower level and re-generate, upwards..... over and over, up and down.


This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #917 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 11:06 AM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
Really? So, if I wanted to take a 3 hour lunch at a day spa I should be able to do that even if my boss doesn't like it? If I wanted to have sex with random men I should be able to do that even if my husband doesn't like it?
That's not what I mean.She is entitled to get a tattoo if she wants one,or ten.I met men like this before they think they control everything.
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post #918 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 11:09 AM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Her moving out is the first thing on the agenda.
Why should she move out just because her boyfriend wants her too.
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post #919 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 11:49 AM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Originally Posted by Robbie1234 View Post
That's not what I mean.She is entitled to get a tattoo if she wants one,or ten.I met men like this before they think they control everything.
You are right, she can get all the tattoos she wants.

But, if he does not like tattoos on his partner, he has all the right to not want that.

He can talk to her and request that she not get tattoos.

Then it's up to her to decide if she will get no tattoo based on his feelings about them or if she wants to get one or many.

And he has the right to not continue to a relationship with a woman who has tattoos.

He does not have the right to control her. But he has the right to chose a woman based on his own parameters.
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post #920 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 11:50 AM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Why should she move out just because her boyfriend wants her too.
Because she is living in his house.
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post #921 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 12:09 PM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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That's not what I mean.She is entitled to get a tattoo if she wants one,or ten.I met men like this before they think they control everything.
She is free to get 100 tattoos but not with a man who hates them.
She knew that.
When you are married/engaged you are supposed to think of the other spouse believe it or not, and not just your own selfish desires/wants.
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post #922 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 01:48 PM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Originally Posted by Robbie1234 View Post
That's not what I mean.She is entitled to get a tattoo if she wants one,or ten.I met men like this before they think they control everything.
Just as she is entitled to get a tattoo, he is entitled to leave because he doesn't want to be in a relationship with a tattooed woman. Seems simple enough.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.

Last edited by MJJEAN; 02-11-2017 at 01:52 PM.
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post #923 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 03:06 PM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Robbie, Robbie

Your cupboard is bare.

In this world, "You don't always get what you want"!

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #924 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 03:11 PM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
Just as she is entitled to get a tattoo, he is entitled to leave because he doesn't want to be in a relationship with a tattooed woman. Seems simple enough.
Which I believe he did.
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post #925 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 03:39 PM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Which I believe he did.
Last I looked, they were together and expecting a baby girl. IIRC, they're in couples counseling and considering marriage in the future.

@Andy1001

I haven't been to check your thread since Thanksgiving. I got triggered.

LSS, my mother's brother was a gay man. My "step father" (they were together 18 years, but never married) was a homophobe back in the day. My Uncle lived out of state and wasn't allowed over to visit if his partner was with him and dad wanted him around in a very limited way. My mom fought bitterly with him over it, but she was disabled, unemployable, and had 3 young kids, so our interaction with Uncle was not as much as it could have been and mostly done in secret via phone and letter.

When my mother died, my dad basically disappeared with us and kept us from contact with my gay uncle and my mothers other brother, too. They were the last of my blood family other than a two siblings and a few cousins. Cousins I also missed out on having in my life.

My hetero uncle looked for us for 17 years before he found us. He has cancer and has been battling it for 8 years. My gay uncle passed away some years back. I wonder if Uncle thought we didn't love him, if he missed us, if he thought about us, if he was hurting over it all when he was approaching the end of his life...

The comments about Ally made by J's family made me want to throat punch people. I had to avoid the thread for a bit. Sorry, man.


Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.

Last edited by MJJEAN; 02-11-2017 at 04:18 PM. Reason: spelling
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post #926 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 04:04 PM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

Sorry @MJJEAN, that's aweful.

On tattoos, better before marriage. After 10 years of marriage I came home from a 10 day business trip and my wife says "I have something to show you". It was a shock, but not a deal breaker (it helped that it was a tribute to me).



Sigh, my wife gives me the speaking treatment.
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post #927 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 04:34 PM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Originally Posted by CharlieParker View Post
Sorry @MJJEAN, that's aweful.

On tattoos, better before marriage. After 10 years of marriage I came home from a 10 day business trip and my wife says "I have something to show you". It was a shock, but not a deal breaker (it helped that it was a tribute to me).
Thanks. It was a different world back then. I'm thrilled at how far we've come and hopeful for the future. I just wish Uncle would have lived to see gay folks raising families and getting legally married. He would have been so happy.

Anyways, back to the topic, I'd never get a tattoo without clearing it with DH. Frankly, he'd have to look at it more than I would and I wouldn't want to risk him being turned off by it. I like sex way too much for that!

My DD, who is 23, got my name in cursive on her shoulder blade a few months ago. I am trying to convince her to get "Made by" done stamp style above it.

I can almost see Andy cringing.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #928 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 04:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
Last I looked, they were together and expecting a baby girl. IIRC, they're in couples counseling and considering marriage in the future.

@Andy1001

I haven't been to check your thread since Thanksgiving. I got triggered.

LSS, my mother's brother was a gay man. My "step father" (they were together 18 years, but never married) was a homophobe back in the day. My Uncle lived out of state and wasn't allowed over to visit if his partner was with him and dad wanted him around in a very limited way. My mom fought bitterly with him over it, but she was disabled, unemployable, and had 3 young kids, so our interaction with Uncle was not as much as it could have been and mostly done in secret via phone and letter.

When my mother died, my dad basically disappeared with us and kept us from contact with my gay uncle and my mothers other brother, too. They were the last of my blood family other than a two siblings and a few cousins. Cousins I also missed out on having in my life.

My hetero uncle looked for us for 17 years before he found us. He has cancer and has been battling it for 8 years. My gay uncle passed away some years back. I wonder if Uncle thought we didn't love him, if he missed us, if he thought about us, if he was hurting over it all when he was approaching the end of his life...

The comments about Ally made by J's family made me want to throat punch people. I had to avoid the thread for a bit. Sorry, man.
Hi MJ.I am really sorry that something that I wrote triggered a bad memory for you about your uncle,may he rest in peace.You have given me some good advice on this forum and I appreciate it.You have also given me some good laughs and your comment about someone insulting your sisters dog is the funniest thing I heard in years.
J has about six or seven weeks to go and we are living together and getting on ok.Ally has moved out to her own place.We were in counselling for a while but Js emotions were all over the place so we stopped going at least for the time being.We did a lot of weekend traveling for a while but she can't fly anymore so we are back in my house.

Last edited by Andy1001; 02-12-2017 at 03:27 AM.
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post #929 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 05:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
Thanks. It was a different world back then. I'm thrilled at how far we've come and hopeful for the future. I just wish Uncle would have lived to see gay folks raising families and getting legally married. He would have been so happy.

Anyways, back to the topic, I'd never get a tattoo without clearing it with DH. Frankly, he'd have to look at it more than I would and I wouldn't want to risk him being turned off by it. I like sex way too much for that!

My DD, who is 23, got my name in cursive on her shoulder blade a few months ago. I am trying to convince her to get "Made by" done stamp style above it.

I can almost see Andy cringing.
No No No No No
Just No.
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post #930 of 1152 (permalink) Old 02-11-2017, 05:49 PM
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Re: Fiancées tattoo.

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Originally Posted by Andy1001 View Post
Hi MJ.I am really sorry that something that I wrote triggered a bad memory for you about your uncle,may he rest in peace.You have given me some good advice on this forum and I appreciate it.You have also given me some good laughs and your comment about someone insulting your sisters dog is the funniest thing I heard in years.
J has about six or seven weeks to go and we are living together and getting on ok.Ally has moved out to her own place.We were in counselling for a while but Js emotions were all over the place so we stopped going at least for the time being.We did a lot of traveling for a while but she can't fly anymore so we are back in my house.
Aww, no need to be sorry. It's not your fault my dad was a d*uche in the 80's an 90's. I found out the whole story about my uncles from the one battling cancer a couple years ago. I rarely talk to my dad now and when I do it's out of familial obligation. He did raise me, after all. And he makes steak that tastes like it was marinaded in angel tears. I need the recipe, dammit!

Ahh, Lily (the dog) and the brawl at the mud bog!!

J's emotions being all over the place is totally normal during pregnancy and the post-partum period, too. She'll be sane again within about a year, maybe less, maybe more. Hormones and sleep deprivation...UGH! Just remain calm, help as much as possible, and roll with it!

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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