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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-19-2016, 07:02 PM Thread Starter
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Single again

Hi, new to this site. Hate being single again. Tried but failed miserable
Blended family. I wished I would have read up on it before moving in. In a nut shell my h could not handle my boys. Both boys had trouble dealing with step dad who tried to be there father instead of step dad. When he treated me wrong they lost use for him. Just emotional abuse set them off so they acted out. I can't put my finger on main reason. I just know I lost his three girls in the process. So tried to show all men that you don't have to be right all the time.
Would love help understanding what I did. Now what do I do.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-19-2016, 10:02 PM
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Re: Single again

Technically you're not new.

You could start by not trying to prove your man is wrong.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-19-2016, 10:21 PM
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Re: Single again

Originally Posted by Mclane View Post
Technically you're not new.

You could start by not trying to prove your man is wrong.
Yea, I read your first introductory thread in 2015.

In that post you felt that he was gay, very vain, a lousy and selfish lover.

Why do you even care if he left the marriage?

You said nothing about any good characteristics that he may have.


How can we help?

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-26-2016, 12:22 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Single again

Thank you both. Sorry I am not good on this site yet.

Mclane, . trying to show him how pushing his ways was the reason it didn't work with the youngest. His yelling, trying to control the boy by buying him then expecting him to do what he wanted and not was right for the boy.

Suncmars, yes I was trying to figure him out. Why do I care. I LOVE HIM. I don't like seeing him hurt cause of my boys. All I want is everyone to be kind to each other no matter what the opinions they have and come together has a blending family. He is a good man, hard worker, wants a family but pushes the boys to be like him...He has raised 3 girls and sometimes likes drama. Boys did not like that, nor do they like a lot of I love you or hugs like the girls.

I am lost of how to teach my boys that they need family. I continue to bring up what my youngest did but can't get through. Sorry a lot of information.

My boys are very hard on h because of his opinion or the highway. Very controlling is what I have been reading. Emotional abuse is what some is calling it. If I don't like his opinion he tries to change my mind.

Changes words, and we did one counseling session but he didn't listen to her, he listen to reply but not listen to learn how. I continue to go to her. I even suggest him go to someone else.

I don't want my boys to become so hard on not to show feelings like their dad showed them.

The main reason we are divorcing is (hard for me) my son went away to college for the first time at 18. I didn't want to sign for him, I said no let him go to the college near by so he can save money. Well my h and my son talked without me there and agreed at that time of what my son had to do to go. Well since I didn't get to hear the tone or be there to help my son follow rules I am in the wrong. My son spent most of his money on what my h says drinking to much(could of got a job). Then he didn't want us up to his college which was one of the conditions, then my son didn't call like they agreed every couple of days. Mind you this was his first real trip away from us, first he didn't need his parents watching his every move like h did in high school. He watched him more than his girls. At Thanksgiving son came home and fought with h on how he was trying to control him and not let him learn. H took away loan, killed my son, a dream gone, all that work gone for what he says ridiculous conditions. My h wanted him to text everyday but son didn't do it, wanted him to say I love you every night. H didn't give him space. I don't push my love on my boys. Their dad was not a huger or every time they leave the house say I love you. My first ex didn't do what was best for the boys and still today don't call them. I hate this they both wanted and needed their father. Now my h tries so hard sometimes to hard if he would just be there to help and not push so hard I believe they would have come around. He wont wait. I had to choose or loose my boys. there is more to this story just trying to find other people who has gone through blending families with boys.

I am very laid back, very patient and yes very passive. I don't discipline very well if other children are doing the same thing.

Ok thanks very reading.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-06-2016, 10:59 PM
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Re: Single again

Welcome Mrs. concernstep. Happy holidays to you and your family.
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