emmi's husband here finally! - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 12:28 PM Thread Starter
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emmi's husband here finally!

hi.
I understand there will be some negative stigma about me already here. but i thought its about due time that i joined this forum.
please be gentle on me!
I am hoping that coming here will help me and my wife and our future relationship.
i also think it will be benefitial to my mental problems, and possibly help me both understand and deal with my emotions, I have never been all that in tune with my thoughts and emotions and i have a shady past, possibly i will write about it here.
I am hoping to get some good advice here but be warned, im dyslexic (why is that word so difficult to spell?) so i do struggle with concentration a bit.

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post #2 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 03:51 PM
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

Welcome! Hope you find it useful and enjoyable
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post #3 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 03:54 PM
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

Can one of you give the three sentence summary? I am way behind on my TAM and don't know emmi's story.

Mr Emmi, is your health ok now?
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post #4 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:03 PM
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

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Originally Posted by Emmi View Post
We were this "innocent", cute, young couple who never argued and made things happen.

Then he had his health problems, lost the job of his dream, existential crisis, building up resentment, failed to communicate, pushed me away, got depressed, went on antidepressants, lost all emotions including his love for me, went on a road trip on his own, spent two nights with a girl with the same health issue as him self, cheated physically but with no actual sex and no feelings for her either, came home and wanted a divorce told me everything and was really mean and hurtful for a couple of months.
@Emmi - RUN, he's lying about not banging her

@MrEmmi - Get tested for STDs and stop lying

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #5 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:07 PM
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

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Originally Posted by BetrayedDad View Post
@Emmi - RUN, he's lying about not banging her

@MrEmmi - Get tested for STDs and stop lying
How do you cheat physically but no sex? Sounds like something Nataly would say.
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post #6 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:09 PM
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post #7 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:15 PM Thread Starter
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

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Can one of you give the three sentence summary? I am way behind on my TAM and don't know emmi's story.

Mr Emmi, is your health ok now?
essentially I had an existential crisis after struggling with bad physical health and emotional health (locking emotions up) and sort of pulled out of the marriage in my mind.
luckily my wife saw that it wasnt the real me and helped me through it.
my health will never be better per se, i can improve things slightly, but its a genetic condition that is degenerative and messes all my joints and organs up.... phisio can help with the joint problems though.
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post #8 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:17 PM
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

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How do you cheat physically but no sex?
He's got her convinced he's a 15 year old high school kid who can only get to second base apparently.

Adults have sex Emmi. It's what grown ups do. Fess up OP and maybe you can actually build towards a real reconciliation.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #9 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

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How do you cheat physically but no sex? Sounds like something Nataly would say.
errrm hard to explain, but there was kissing and sexuals stuff but not sexual stuff, ie; no bits went in other bits.
if there was any risk of STD i would have taken a test by now. no secrets between us anymore, plus i have like loads of blood test because of my health!
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post #10 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:19 PM
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

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Affaircare is here! If anyone can help, it is her.

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post #11 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:21 PM
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

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there was kissing and sexuals stuff but not sexual stuff, ie; no bits went in other bits.
if there was any risk of STD i would have taken a test by now.
You can get herpes from kissing....

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #12 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:25 PM
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

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You can get herpes from kissing....
And all kinds of things from oral sex.
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post #13 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:27 PM
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

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@Affaircare is here! If anyone can help, it is her.
Yes she can. She understands health issues too and how they can complicate the marriage.

Last edited by blueinbr; 08-08-2016 at 04:33 PM.
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post #14 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:30 PM
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

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, plus i have like loads of blood test because of my health!
Unfortunately wife and I are experts on blood tests. After the first few dozens you learn to stop counting. They don't test for STDs unless explicitly ordered by the doctor.
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post #15 of 41 (permalink) Old 08-08-2016, 04:30 PM
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Re: emmi's husband here finally!

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Originally Posted by MrEmmi View Post
no secrets between us anymore
I think this is the most important thing. Transparency builds trust.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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