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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-14-2016, 06:21 PM Thread Starter
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Thumbs down Looking for emotional assistance...

Hi, I am a 53 yr old woman that was singe most of my life and met what i thought was going to be my life partner, gave up my career & moved to Florida together and got legally married. Things have not been good for a yr now and the fights are so bad, i yell he goes in the other room and no talking for weeks, i know this is not normal & i am looking for suggestions..we both just end up yelling and going our own way...After having such a great life i am so disappointed in what my life has turned into..i feel isolated, lonely and punished by him..

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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-14-2016, 06:25 PM
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Re: Looking for emotional assistance...

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Originally Posted by brokenflorida16 View Post
Hi, I am a 53 yr old woman that was singe most of my life and met what i thought was going to be my life partner, gave up my career & moved to Florida together and got legally married. Things have not been good for a yr now and the fights are so bad, i yell he goes in the other room and no talking for weeks, i know this is not normal & i am looking for suggestions..we both just end up yelling and going our own way...After having such a great life i am so disappointed in what my life has turned into..i feel isolated, lonely and punished by him..

What do you expect him to do if you're yelling at him?
yell back? escalate?

Have you addressed why you are abusing (yelling without listening) him in the first place? Why would he wish to talk to his abuser?
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-14-2016, 08:41 PM
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Re: Looking for emotional assistance...

Have you thought about marriage counseling?

what do you fight about?



You do matter!
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-14-2016, 08:45 PM
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Re: Looking for emotional assistance...

what is the yelling about? is he stressed? are you stressed? was he single for a long time as well? some people get used to the loneliness, he might have realized that after he was deep into the relationship, def cool off and talk about counselling, last advice i'd give you; would be love yourself, dont let him be the one to make you happy if you cant make yourself happy

"The devil you know is better than the devil you don't"
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-14-2016, 09:03 PM
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Re: Looking for emotional assistance...

Singleness must suit you better. Was this back and forth always the case and it has just gotten worse since you got married?
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-14-2016, 10:14 PM
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Re: Looking for emotional assistance...

Wow, so you changed your location, job situation, married and moved in with someone all in one fell swoop. That's a lot of change. Any one of those qualifies as a major life stressor, and you did them all at once. Did your husband have similar changes? I wouldn't be surprised that you would be having a rough time adjusting to each other.

Or is it more than that? Do you miss working? What do you do with your time? Have you made friends in your new city?

When did the fighting start?

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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-14-2016, 10:22 PM
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Re: Looking for emotional assistance...

What are the fights about? Do you feel like you both are ok with "winning" and "losing" about half of the fights? Or do you each (or one of you) feel like you always have to be right? How often do you concede an argument, tell him he's right and apologize? How often does he?
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-20-2016, 12:37 AM
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Re: Looking for emotional assistance...

If you felt miserable and fought most of the time you were with him, it was definitely not a healthy relationship. Was he always like that? There may be a big lack of communication since he keeps silent after a fight.
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