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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 01:46 AM Thread Starter
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Bad Dreams

My wife and I have been married for just over a year-and-a-half. But she keeps having these bad dreams, in which I leave her or cheat on her. I tried consoling her several times only for her to continue to have these dreams. So tonight she tells me about another bad dream... only this time I didn't say anything because, frankly it's never good, I'm always the villain. Then she proceeds to act like she knows the dream is going to come true. So I tell her to leave me to avoid the situation(me doing whatever I did in her dream). Who is overreacting?

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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 02:25 AM
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Re: Bad Dreams

She seems to have a major mental problem. How did you two not breech this situation before marriage? If she feels her screwed up dreams are glimpses into the future, Then leaves you because she feels they will come true. Then she is delusional. And you were not all overreacting to this behavior.

Last edited by Palodyne; 10-22-2016 at 01:32 PM. Reason: spelling
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 02:34 AM
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Re: Bad Dreams

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Originally Posted by TriednTired View Post
My wife and I have been married for just over a year-and-a-half. But she keeps having these bad dreams, in which I leave her or cheat on her. I tried consoling her several times only for her to continue to have these dreams. So tonight she tells me about another bad dream... only this time I didn't say anything because, frankly it's never good, I'm always the villain. Then she proceeds to act like she knows the dream is going to come true. So I tell her to leave me to avoid the situation(me doing whatever I did in her dream). Who is overreacting?
Sounds like she may be the one projecting guilt. What do you actually know about her past? Usually a cheater projects their guilt on the innocent partner, remember that!

Last edited by Palodyne; 10-22-2016 at 07:56 AM.
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 04:00 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Bad Dreams

Well, in all fairness unfortunately have cheated on her before we got married, we were just dating... yet, she suggested we get married and I said ok, to prove my love and commitment to her. But when we first started dating she said she had abandonment and trust issues. I honestly didn't fully understand the abandonment issues until later. I feel like I should have left when she told me that and we could have avoided these issues.

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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 04:05 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Bad Dreams

And to be clear I cheated (not that it's ok or to be justified) but because she was too clingy, not wanting me to leave when i came over (insisting I leave something there, to make sure I came back)and I wasn't sure how I really felt (which I should have told her). At first I thought it was cute, but after a while it was like damn woman!

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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 04:25 AM
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Re: Bad Dreams

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And to be clear I cheated (not that it's ok or to be justified) but because she was too clingy, not wanting me to leave when i came over (insisting I leave something there, to make sure I came back)and I wasn't sure how I really felt (which I should have told her). At first I thought it was cute, but after a while it was like damn woman!

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Go read about attachment styles, she is an anxious style and you sound like an avoidant style. They don't mix well and probably never will.


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I think I'm afraid to be happy. Because whenever I get to happy, something bad always happens.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 06:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Bad Dreams

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Go read about attachment styles, she is an anxious style and you sound like an avoidant style. They don't mix well and probably never will.


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Attachment styles? Where is that?

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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 10-22-2016, 02:47 PM
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Re: Bad Dreams

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Attachment styles? Where is that?

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Just do a google search on attachment styles.
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