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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 04:52 PM Thread Starter
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I'm human please don't judge

I have been with my wife for 12 plus years, 2 married. before we got married her mother moved in with us and our two kids. After our honeymoon things were not the same for a couple of months I'm not sure if her money being there and we really did not get along has anything to do with it. For 4 months she would tell me she is tired has a headache or goes fast to sleep, she would be up when I get home from work on her cellphone and he minute I get out the shower she is sleeping. As time went on I thought there was something wrong with me, I went out with a friend of mine and met The Devil Herself. It quickly escalated to being Facebook friends to texting (nothing sexual) as months went on my wife only wanted me to hold her and not touch any part of her body and kept denying me sex. Well my unselfish vulnerable self fell for the apple without thinking with my heart when I slept with her. I ended it and after I did she was threatening to run my wife over. mind you I did not know she was going to court for running her kids dad over.. Well long story short she told my wife and all hell broke loose back in January here its march and come to find out that my wife slept with her ex boyfriend a couple times in February after finding out.. She said she doesn't want a divorce but wants to separate so she can see what she wants to do, but she also said that she is not sleeping with him no more but cares about him and they are friends and will continue to talk to him...

please be respectful but honest .. what should I do? thank you


Last edited by dmggds; 03-21-2017 at 05:03 PM.
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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 04:55 PM
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

She still sleeping with him. If she wants separation, tell her to leave the house.
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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

I kind of figured that. she said it has nothing to do with him the reason she wants space just clear her head.. I mean I know I was wrong but she reacted way to soon. 2 wrongs don't make it right but I believe it was more than a tit for tat
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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:01 PM
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Cool Re: I'm human please don't judge

The last time I heard anything this extreme, Michael Douglas got his bunny boiled!

I'd say that unless you commit to reconciliation with a woman who is as cold as a poker, I'd go ahead and get divorce pleadings going!

You deserve far better than that!

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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

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She still sleeping with him. If she wants separation, tell her to leave the house.
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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:02 PM
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

She's lying.

Divorce.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

I said the same thing. I told her she was boiling rabbits and got more upset.. I had to get a order of protection, she was working at a law firm and got my address.
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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:06 PM
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

It's to late to do what you should have done.

I do find myself wondering if she had something going on the side before she found out because the signs were already there.

Anyway, the marriage is broken, it was broken before but the repair of it now will take a lot more than I suspect your wife is willing to invest. She wants to separate because she wants to explore a relationship with the OM. If she comes back it isn't because she loves you it is because you are plan B and the relationship with the X didn't pan out (no surprise there, he is an X for a reason).

The funny thing about X's, it's easier to jump in the sack with them because they've done it so many times before that its no big deal. As soon as the A is exposed and they are public and no longer hiding, the danger and exhilaration go out the window and then they start to see each others warts again, the same warts that made them break up to begin with.

You have no moral high ground to stand on here as you are as bad as she is although like i said I suspect maybe something was already going on, now you've given her an out. All you can do at this point is stand back and wait for her relationship with her X to run its course while you decide if you are willing to be her plan b should she come back.

Our lives are a novel and we, the authors. if you don't like the story line, only you have the power to change it.
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

I said that is what I want. but she doesn't. I'm thinking its for financial reason!
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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:07 PM
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

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I believe it was more than a tit for tat
Sure was.

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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:08 PM
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

Did you have sex with the she devil?
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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

like I said I am not playing the victim here I was wrong as well. I just want to move on and take care of my 2 kids like I was already doing. I do not plan on being Door #2. He just recently was release from prison and she saw him and told him she was married but exchanged numbers.. Her friend told me that she pulled her away when they were talking at the bar.
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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

yes I did... I'm not proud of it.
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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:13 PM
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

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I have been with my wife for 12 plus years, 2 married. before we got married her mother moved in with us and our two kids. After our honeymoon things were not the same for a couple of months I'm not sure if her money being there and we really did not get along has anything to do with it. For 4 months she would tell me she is tired has a headache or goes fast to sleep, she would be up when I get home from work on her cellphone and he minute I get out the shower she is sleeping. As time went on I thought there was something wrong with me, I went out with a friend of mine and met The Devil Herself. It quickly escalated to being Facebook friends to texting (nothing sexual) as months went on my wife only wanted me to hold her and not touch any part of her body and kept denying me sex. Well my unselfish vulnerable self fell for the apple without thinking with my heart when I slept with her. I ended it and after I did she was threatening to run my wife over. mind you I did not know she was going to court for running her kids dad over.. Well long story short she told my wife and all hell broke loose back in January here its march and come to find out that my wife slept with her ex boyfriend a couple times in February after finding out.. She said she doesn't want a divorce but wants to separate so she can see what she wants to do, but she also said that she is not sleeping with him no more but cares about him and they are friends and will continue to talk to him...

please be respectful but honest .. what should I do? thank you
Things weren't going well and for at least 4 months, you two couldn't figure out how to address them.

I wouldn't be surprised if she was avoiding you sexually during that time because she was cheating.

Either way, we know for a fact you cheated.

Then she cheated with her ex. Again I wouldn't be surprised if this is not the first time. Who randomly reaches out to their ex after 12 YEARS and has sex with them "a couple times" (just that phrase alone sounds like a lie)? And suddenly starts caring about them enough to not want to give up the "friendship"???

Now she's asking for your permission to continue cheating... I mean now she wants to separate to figure things out.

You guys could not fix the relationship back then when you just had to deal with her avoiding sex with you. How do you propose to fix the relationship with all this additional baggage now?

Just, how?
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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old 03-21-2017, 05:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm human please don't judge

it was more than sex it was emotions as well. society today believes men are not emotional! Gorilla Glue and duct tape could fix this.. that I know.
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