Re: Hello Everyone!
I've been a SAHM for 13 years and I am in great physical shape and workout daily. I love having sex with my husband and although I can go out and buy pretty much what I want, I don't because spending $$$ does not equal happiness, IMO. I love having plenty of time with my children, homeschooling in the younger years (we did not spend $$ on preschool) and running a household so my husband could focus on his career. I'm well-educated and once my oldest decided to go to school, I started a hobby job that I love.
Getting back to the OP: Raising young children can be physically demanding, and since your wife has shown interest in homeschooling, I'm going to assume she is well-versed in attachment parenting. Many parents practicing some form of attachment parenting do stay with their children as they fall asleep. I did not, but we did have a VERY specific routine bedtime that served my children extremely well. It is not always easy on a marriage to practice modern well-researched parenting techniques and losing sight of the marital needs can happen, especially when a mother is totally focused on her children.
I recommend sitting down with your wife and letting her know that you love her and appreciate what a wonderful mother she is to your children, and that you want to support her while also keeping your marriage strong. To do that, you need to work with her to find a way to get 15 hours a week for the two of you to spend meeting the top 4 emotional needs: intimate conversation, affection, recreational companionship, and sex. I suggest taking a look at Marriage Builders online articles and downloading the book His Needs, Her Needs, written by licensed psychologist Dr. Harley who says couples need at least 15 hours a week together without the kids to maintain a romantic relationship and meet each other's needs.
Your situation is not uncommon, and is likely due to your wife's desire to be the best mom she can be to your children. She needs to learn how to make your marriage priority while still being a great mom though. It's a balance that a lot of moms struggle with, especially when the kids are young.