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Dealing with Grief and Loss The grieving process is difficult. When we lose someone close to us, we go through many different emotions.

Thread: When it's Death and Not Divorce... Reply to Thread
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Topic Review (Newest First)
01-05-2012 01:43 PM
Noel1987
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doubt&Wonder View Post
((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))))


After loosing my only daughter at the young tender age of 10 - I can honestly say that TIME, FAMILY & FRIENDS that support and listen well are the best way to over come the loss of a loved one.

And - NEVER forget to CRY when you feel the NEED......... even if it is years later.



((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))))
You are right and i can feel your precious loss sometimes it makes our eyes wet as well but try to revise the memories when you feel lonely and think that she is in a better place from here there will be smile on your face....HUGS
12-31-2011 01:58 AM
hurtnohio
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

A divorce is a willful decision to terminate a relationship, which has connotations of rejection, spitefulness and cruelty (whether intentional or not).

Death is permanent and that's what makes it painful. But it doesn't carry the same sense of intentional rejection.
12-25-2011 02:34 AM
Blindasabat
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doubt&Wonder View Post
((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))))


After loosing my only daughter at the young tender age of 10 - I can honestly say that TIME, FAMILY & FRIENDS that support and listen well are the best way to over come the loss of a loved one.

And - NEVER forget to CRY when you feel the NEED......... even if it is years later.


((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))))
So sorry for your loss I can imagine nothing more painfull in life than losing a child God be with you and dry your tears and take comfort
in the knowlegde you will be reunited.
Posted via Mobile Device
12-25-2011 02:27 AM
Blindasabat
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

when someone you love dies, that love goes on forever when you divorce, love dies.
Posted via Mobile Device
09-16-2011 11:18 AM
HappyAtLast
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

I think the main difference is that death is permanent, but the one you divorced is still around.
They really are similar is that they are both heart breaking and so very painful...it seems as though the pieces of your heart will never fit back together again.
Strange that I should be reading this today...my mother died exactly a month ago, and it's still so hard to believe she's gone..even after a battle with esophageal cancer.
09-10-2011 05:17 PM
ddindiana
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

Yeah! Brain, most women are heartless. I know my ex wife is..
09-10-2011 05:13 PM
ddindiana
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

I read a article that said, next to loosing a child, a divorce is the hardest thing you'll go through in your life. I still have my beautiful daughter, but watched my wife walk out of my life and rip my heart into pieces. I told my ex wife you'll never know how bad you hurt me. So i have to agree with the article..
09-10-2011 01:56 PM
Brian.
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

Women initiate the vast majority of all divorces so I don't think women are that upset if it ends in divorce.
07-19-2011 04:30 PM
golfergirl
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellybeans View Post
Great post
With death, there is no choice, with divorce, often you make a decision.
Posted via Mobile Device
07-19-2011 04:12 PM
Jellybeans
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

Quote:
Originally Posted by southbound View Post
I feel like death is actually more natural. Death is something that everyone will face, and if a spouse passes away, the two part on good terms and no memories are tarnished.

When someone divorces, especially after several years, it's a very strange feeling. All at once, this person that you created a life bond with, made love to, and had children with, no longer wants you. It's the twilight zone.
Great post
07-17-2011 11:21 PM
southbound
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

I feel like death is actually more natural. Death is something that everyone will face, and if a spouse passes away, the two part on good terms and no memories are tarnished.

When someone divorces, especially after several years, it's a very strange feeling. All at once, this person that you created a life bond with, made love to, and had children with, no longer wants you. It's the twilight zone.
07-15-2011 06:15 AM
CoffeeTime
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

When you love someone, both of these scenarios are devastating to the heart. Grief and sorrow can be so complex, very personal. To me, the depth of loss cannot be measured by the 'how' or 'why' and 'when'. It is the journey of feeling the significance of your life with vulnerability... and the significance of those around you.
07-11-2011 07:16 PM
artwizard
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

I lost my first wife to cancer! she was only 30 yrs old and it was hell watching her deteriorate and die! But you know its coming, you know there's nothing you can do. The worst thing is knowing that the kids will never know her (Max was 4 and Maddison was 2) but you deal with it because you have to and closure is easier because you know that there is nothing you can do, whats not easier is the aftermath and sudden knowledge that you will never hold kiss or feel the one you love ever again, for me i coped for a while and even got a job but one day it fell apart and i fell apart in a big way and nearly lost everything by going off the rails!

Since then i have rebuilt my life, re-married and now have 4 children, 2 step and my 2! and that brings a whole new strain on life. Atm i am not 100% sure that our marriage is going to survive because of my wife and my mum not seeing eye to eye and the kids, especially the boys having problems getting on. This scares me more than losing my first wife, that i could not control but this i feel i can but whatever i do does not work, i love my current wife more than i can possibly say but the thought of it going wrong and losing her and divorce etc i know i cant deal with, the thought of her still being around and making a life without me would kill me because i will always think i could of done more!

Hopefully this wont happen, i know i will survive if it does and do my best but the thought that i could (and still can) of saved it will eat at me forever, death gives a definate closure divorce never does.
11-28-2010 11:22 AM
GrietJa
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

It's completely different feeling yes. Strangely enough I can cope better with he fact my friend will die then my husband divorced me.

But then again, my friend didn't die yet. And that's like hurting me every second in life now too. Cause he's so dear to me. And I still think he can't be taken away from me.

I met Georges just on line you know. Same as my ex-husband. And in both cases it really felt really ok in the beginning.

I know already how it feels when getting divorced, and I'm still not over it. I still think in a way it's not over yet.

I already know losing someone who dies feels different. And I'm so afraid of all the feelings that will follow soon. But for now I know he loves me and will for as long as he lives. And he'll live for ever in my heart. Maybe it gives me the comfort to make myself strong if I talk to him and tell jokes. And being a religious person helps in this case.
02-15-2008 05:22 PM
sarahdale24
Re: When it's Death and Not Divorce...

I think it's a complete difference. I've been through both a divorce and a death of a loved one.
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