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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Topic Review (Newest First)
12-22-2010 11:29 PM
RandomDude
Re: Is this wrong?

@Greenpearl

Damn right

@The guy

Aye, lots of **** to clear up mate.

I'd better head off, wish me luck folks, and thank you. I've learnt more over the last few days then I have learnt over the last 2 years.
12-22-2010 11:29 PM
the guy
Re: Is this wrong?

ya that was the point

Im glad to see that your taking back that she goes and f*cks other guys.. that will lead to no good. She may not do it know or with in a year, but (according to my wife) That statement will resinate in her mind when the first guy takes a crack at her.

Make sure you clear that up with your chick. make sure she understands that the statment was made as a foolish remark and you addimently deny wanting her to f*cking other guys. Don't assume she took it as a joke it will come back to bite you in the *ss, years from now, trust me!
12-22-2010 11:22 PM
greenpearl
Re: Is this wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
I don't like the idea of being considered "submissive" or that she's more "dominant", I'd rather consider myself "dominant" over a "dominant woman"! I have an ego too you know! lol
You are not just dominant, you are very dominant!

I can sense your personality from your posts.

12-22-2010 11:20 PM
RandomDude
Re: Is this wrong?

^So we both have pole-dancing women! WTF lol

Man we have a lot in common it seems
12-22-2010 11:18 PM
the guy
Re: Is this wrong?

I got a pole in the living room, kids want it down for the Holidays
12-22-2010 11:18 PM
RandomDude
Re: Is this wrong?

I don't like the idea of being considered "submissive" or that she's more "dominant", I'd rather consider myself "dominant" over a "dominant woman"! I have an ego too you know! lol
12-22-2010 11:11 PM
MsLonely
Re: Is this wrong?

I feel your wife is pretty dominant in many aspects and at some certain level, you love to be dominated.
So actually, you're a perfectly matched couple.
Now the whole thing is aheading to an very extreme way, you started to question yourself and your marriage. At this point, you're still a perfect couple, but you need to strike a balance. She can be dominant but where is the limit? You can compromise, but where is the limit? You can spoil her, being raped, with all the bills paid, but there must be a limit for everything. She has to learn to respect you are still a man and you're her husband.
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12-22-2010 11:05 PM
RandomDude
Re: Is this wrong?

Yeah, and I guess if I continue this it's only a matter of time too and she may even do it starting from an emotional affair since she's rather principled herself, but she's only human - one thing leads to another, that's how we even ended up having sex in the first place.

Guess I've been spoiled, still remember when she had her flab after childbirth and I always gave her **** for it, she never whined, never told on me about it, she lost her weight, went on the pole (we have one in our garage) - toned up her body, and made herself attractive again (and strong in the right places too... especially her legs), she demanded I do the same since working non-stop I didn't have much time to go gym (some positions she likes also demand strength) so I made it a habit to do pull-ups on a doorway at work during the breaks and do as much lifting as I could.

It seems she's been very appreciative of this sure, but I've not been for her. I still call it "rapes", when other guys would probably kill for a woman like her... And with finances (or anything outside of the bedroom) it's the complete opposite where she's not being appreciative of the hard work I've put into my business, and I've spoiled her by letting her spend like crazy whenever she likes, and I feel as if a ton of women would kill for a rich dude like me who doesn't even spend sh-t!

Man... everything is making sense, hell I hope this freakin plan works...

Quote:
and by all means... just real talk man to man... Do Not Send Her Into The Arms Of Another Man.....
Yeah come to think of it now it's a bloody horrible idea!!! I'm so stupid, I feel like homer...
12-22-2010 11:04 PM
WadeWilson
Re: Is this wrong?

now i honestly dont have all the history.... but from what i can basicly tell, the childish things i am hearing is that you two do love and care for eachother....

she wants you as much as she sees you... and she wants you to be jealous.... that could mean she knows she has a good thing... or is just maybe really that much h0rn3y....

you do prove a bit of an example by not wanting to displease her by sending her elsewhere to seek what she needs... that just mean you want her to be happy and satisfied....

but what she wants is to be satisfied with you....
and of course you being the breadwinner is too stressful to keep up with her insatiable needs...
but you have to stand firm... if you feel she acts as if she wants to be caged... thats probably her saying you have to show some stregnth in the relationship....

do not be rude and fuss and fight but let her know when you're ready and not ready to f**k....

i too am the sole financial source in the household... and if i miss too much time even a couple of days, we will be on the streets... but sometimes i do not want a romp and my wife do... i sometimes oblige but most i have to reserve my energy...

and by all means... just real talk man to man... Do Not Send Her Into The Arms Of Another Man.....

i hope it works out for you though....
12-22-2010 10:54 PM
the guy
Re: Is this wrong?

Dude, you should her the stories my wife has from all her.... adventure. It was insane. bottom line though back in Feb.'10 I pulled my sh*t together and hers and are doing great.
12-22-2010 10:48 PM
the guy
Re: Is this wrong?

The first seven years of my marraige were good and I to felt ther was no need to be controlling or jealas (I wish I could spellz) I had a loyal wife, but neglegt will takes its toll on her and she loves you and will do what she needs to do get by.

I never thought in 19 years that she would actually step out side the marraige even after telling her (twice). Every time She wanted to talk I refused her. She always wanted sex and as time went on I refused that to, Only on my terms.

This **** can get out of hand if you dont stand your ground and take some controll in your marriage.
12-22-2010 10:48 PM
greenpearl
Re: Is this wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
We'll see, to be honest I'm looking forward to ending this little fight with my little plan in a few hours, haven't had my ballsacs emptied for days! Now I'm starting to miss it (maybe that's why she does the STs - bah, she's f--king childish herself!)
Both of you are suffering. I don't think she feels great either.

You two are just stubborn, don't want to give in to each other.


After you finish the fight, do more studying about not spoiling her and earning her respect by being a firm man, but not violent though. And stop saying silly things like you mentioned in your first post.
12-22-2010 10:40 PM
RandomDude
Re: Is this wrong?

@Greenpearl

We'll see, to be honest I'm looking forward to ending this little fight with my little plan in a few hours, haven't had my ballsacs emptied for days! Now I'm starting to miss it (maybe that's why she does the STs - bah, she's f--king childish herself!)

@the guy

Hell mate, it seems when piecing everything up - everything is starting to make a straight bit of sense... too much freedom and she stops respecting me with finances, and it looks like I'm on the same road that you were on.

A part of me for some reason gets turned on by the idea too in all honesty (I also have an exhibitionist side) but I guess she knows it's not good for her since she's already been there, done that as well (Guess I'm actually lucky she's f--king stubborn in this regard) - and hence rejected the idea but it seems my words have hurt her I guess.

Thanks for this bro, I should have found this forum a lot sooner.
12-22-2010 10:37 PM
the guy
Re: Is this wrong?

Dude I was there were you are right now. The work-acholic in me did the same thing. Except I said "go get a boytoy if you want attention" that was 13 years ago. I have a wife that has slept with 20 guys, ten of whitch accured in the last 3 years. This sh*t will snowball and you will have a great carrer and a wife doing her own thing.

She will start with one and it will last a few months and then stop, a few years will go by and then she will be at it again, maybe just a month. Then another few years will go by and she'll be good ,then another guy will hit on her and then it happens again. It will get so bad that the guilt will eat her up so much that she will stop giving a sh*t and just go out with any swinging d*ck just to validate her self wearth, and that won't mean much to her after so many years of neglegt. In her eyes she will see her self as wearthless and do what ever to get attention.

But at least you will have a great job!

Mabye you will get lucky and she will fall in love with someone right of way, instead of hanging on to you and finding bandaids to help her through until you wake up and say "some one loves me". I better change or she will get killed with this kind of behavior.

Hey I know its tough i never got any respect and she didn't do a dam thing around the house and I resented that crap and dismissed her and my marraige, it was f*cked, but it happened. Don't be like that repair your marraige or move on get a carrer going then find someone.

Sorry for the rant, this one hit close to home.
12-22-2010 10:37 PM
greenpearl
Re: Is this wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
Women like you and the missus are evil, you know that right?

Yes, many men are lusting after us! Do you know how many men are after me? But my body is only for my husband to enjoy! I only feel sexy, comfortable, horny with my husband. Put another man in front of me, my fire dies right away, maybe. Is your wife the same? I a kind of feel she is the same! Do you know what a wonderful woman you have?

Well, I'm guessing you also work yes? For me I'm a sole provider, if my business suffers a setback less cash for all of us. Hence the stress and workaholism, sometimes I'm just not in the mood.

My husband and I work the same amount of hours. It is true that I share the financial burden. It is understandable that you have to bring all the stress on you. Here you might need to be understanding of you wife. It is actually better for her to work, she'll be more confident about herself and her life. But right now, you have a one-year old daughter, your wife is sacrificing her life to look after your daughter, it is important for children to have their own mothers to look after them when they are young. You love your daughter so much, so you know how much your wife is sacrificing.


I know, this forum is actually making me see it. I'm actually rather surprised the average sexy time in marriage for most is 4x a MONTH! That's so much free time!!!!

I see once in a month quite often!


Oh the game? We've been playing from day one, so we're used to it. However it seems that nowadays, she doesn't like it no more, prefers that I be more jealous and more possessive, meh . Just not me! I don't know. It just feels... weak (I don't like to feel like I'm 'kowtow'ing, ever - I'm sure you're familiar with the term)
Christian belief really stresses on fidelity. She is more religious now.

I understand some Cantonese.

You don't want to give in. You are just stubborn.

But you are going to lose more if you lose the peaceful atmosphere in your house. Better solve it sooner than later.

Dude, life should be more interesting. Please don't waster your time and energy on silly fights.
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