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Topic Review (Newest First)
02-27-2012 12:03 PM
Emly
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

Quote:
Originally Posted by the guy View Post
Tell her to stop!
she will reply with "your being controling"
you then reply "I'm protecting our relationship"
her reply "blah blah blah".
your reply "do you still want a relationship with me"
her reply[option #1] "yes"
your reply "then end all contact"

her reply [option #2] "no"
your reply " then I'll move on with out you"

Its pretty simple, so don't let her throw the "your controling" card. You feel the relationship with her X is stressing your relationship and you need to show her how confident you are in moving forward with out her.

Any doubt in both your minds that you can't move forward with out her will surely empower her to continue.

If you play it right (no begging) you will give her the perception that your serious as sh*t and she will think you will bail on her.

Man up bro and don't let her manage you by giving you a line of BS that will make you agree with her even when you don't want to but your to chicken to be with out her.

If she gets that vibe then your screwed...she then has the power.

If she sees and hears a confident man telling her he won't tolorate something and has the balls to bail on her then she will second guess her choices.

Good luck
Lolzz Nice Idea!
02-27-2012 06:25 AM
Halien
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

Spend a few minutes thinking about the differences between a Facebook chat and talking to that long lost friend face to face. There's a big difference in what people might be willing to say. Also, how many would really meet a long lost girlfriend from college face to face 37 times to talk about trivial details that give an intimate view into your personal life? But we might do so electronically. In which format would a person be more likely to say, "My husband is late getting home again. He's always late recently. Seems he doesn't care about me as much."

One of the first things you learn about software development is that if a person doesn't begin to automatically use it day to day, because it is much easier to use than other formats (like cell phone discussions, or meeting face to face), then it will go bankrupt. Facebook is successful because it lowers threshholds in areas where we would otherwise be shy, can let you pick up an intimate discussion with privacy, masks all of those imposing visual cues that exist in face to face discussions, and gives a person an intimate peek into your life.

The analogy people use about 'guns don't kill people, people do' is not even close. A similar analogy to facebook would be if I invented a gun that could hop a bus, defeat the locks on a person's door, and shoot them in the privacy of their home.
02-27-2012 01:23 AM
KittyKat
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

Facebook doesn't kill relationships. People do.

You can't stop someone from cheating. Facebook may make it easier to 'find' another person. But if your spouse is going to cheat, they are going to use any tool at their disposal.

It's your spouse's fault. Not Facebook or anything else.
02-26-2012 07:00 PM
Lydia
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

I do think that people should be accountable for their actions (therefore, it's not FACEBOOK itself that destroys the marriage, it's the person using facebook).

However, I think Facebook makes it very easy to connect with people who you otherwise wouldn't talk to. Such as exes. It also makes it easier to make advances as you don't have to deal with possible rejection in the same way.

There are people that I talk to on FB that if FB didn't exist, I wouldn't have contact with. I don't personally have exes on my FB however I know my husband does (and it does bother me) and I know he'd have no contact with them if it wasn't for FB.
02-26-2012 01:30 PM
In_The_Wind
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

My feelings are that fb helps in bringing back lost youth so to speak.
What I find ironic is that the grass is never greenier once reality sets in and the past is the past
Their is a reason an ex is a ex jmo
Posted via Mobile Device
02-26-2012 01:17 PM
tennisstar
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

People kill relationships. FB is a medium that can be used in whatever way someone wants to use it. Don't blame FB. Blame the person!

People always want to blame something instead of blaming the person who did the action!!!
02-25-2012 03:29 PM
tacoma
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

Quote:
Originally Posted by the guy View Post
Tell her to stop!
she will reply with "your being controling"
you then reply "I'm protecting our relationship"
her reply "blah blah blah".
your reply "do you still want a relationship with me"
her reply[option #1] "yes"
your reply "then end all contact"

her reply [option #2] "no"
your reply " then I'll move on with out you"

Its pretty simple, so don't let her throw the "your controling" card. You feel the relationship with her X is stressing your relationship and you need to show her how confident you are in moving forward with out her.

Any doubt in both your minds that you can't move forward with out her will surely empower her to continue.

If you play it right (no begging) you will give her the perception that your serious as sh*t and she will think you will bail on her.

Man up bro and don't let her manage you by giving you a line of BS that will make you agree with her even when you don't want to but your to chicken to be with out her.

If she gets that vibe then your screwed...she then has the power.

If she sees and hears a confident man telling her he won't tolorate something and has the balls to bail on her then she will second guess her choices.

Good luck
02-25-2012 03:24 PM
grenville
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

Quote:
Originally Posted by CantePe View Post
it's not facebook that kills relationships..it's the people in those relationships that use facebook as a *catalyst* (sic tool) to destroying that relationship.
Much like guns don't kill people either I think.
02-25-2012 03:22 PM
grenville
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrHereToHelp51 View Post
Seriously, my girlfriend is talking to her ex on facebook, I just read the messages. Anyone ever deal with this or are dealing with this now? UGH
I think it depends on what they're saying and how 'ex' they are. I still chat with a woman I dated 30 years ago at high-school from time to time, but there's absolutely nothing untoward going on - catching up on gossip from our ex-home town mostly - and I'd be happy to show my wife every message if she was remotely interested. Explicit messages to a recent ex partner are obviously entirely different.
02-24-2012 01:41 PM
AE86freak
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

I have a FB account but haven't been on it in two years. I know myself. when i first signed up, i found myself looking up girls from highschool that i used to like. I had to take a step back and be honest with myself "wow buddy...what are you doing here!?" That was it for me... no more facebook.
02-24-2012 01:37 PM
AE86freak
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

Sometimes my wife txts me all day saying she misses me, but after we are both home form work and the baby is asleep, all she wants to do is sit on the coach, use my lap as a foot stool, and watch tv while simultaneously chanting with family and friends on Facebook! That makes no sense to me! She should be chating with me!
10-19-2011 11:06 AM
Unsure in Seattle
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

It's not just Facebook; it's people.

Well before things like Facebook or email or whatever, I recall my mother spending hundreds (!!) of dollars on those party chat lines that were so prevelent in the 80s. And then she'd bury the phone bill in the back yard somewhere.

Does FB make it easy to cheat (or, at least, behave inappropriately)?

Sure.

But it's still not to blame. The people that use it with no boundaries are to blame.
10-19-2011 08:42 AM
CandieGirl
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

OK so FB isn't the culprit, but it is a vehicle...not everyone chooses to use FB to 'reconnect' with their old flames, but some do, and when that happens it can be devastating.

If there were no such thing as social networking, many of these od flames would have been left to burn out for good. Before all of this technology, the only way to reach out to an old flame would be to look them up in the phone book and call. And that's a little more brazen than sending a friend request and a cutsie message.
10-19-2011 08:24 AM
WayTooAverage
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

Quote:
Originally Posted by the guy View Post
Tell her to stop!
she will reply with "your being controling"
you then reply "I'm protecting our relationship"
her reply "blah blah blah".
your reply "do you still want a relationship with me"
her reply[option #1] "yes"
your reply "then end all contact"

her reply [option #2] "no"
your reply " then I'll move on with out you"

Its pretty simple, so don't let her throw the "your controling" card. You feel the relationship with her X is stressing your relationship and you need to show her how confident you are in moving forward with out her.

Any doubt in both your minds that you can't move forward with out her will surely empower her to continue.

If you play it right (no begging) you will give her the perception that your serious as sh*t and she will think you will bail on her.

Man up bro and don't let her manage you by giving you a line of BS that will make you agree with her even when you don't want to but your to chicken to be with out her.

If she gets that vibe then your screwed...she then has the power.

If she sees and hears a confident man telling her he won't tolorate something and has the balls to bail on her then she will second guess her choices.

Good luck
The Guy well said!
10-19-2011 08:17 AM
CantePe
Re: Facebook Kills Relationships

Both of us quit Facebook a month ago. It was a catalyst to the near ruination of our marriage.

That's just it though isn't it, it's not facebook that kills relationships..it's the people in those relationships that use facebook as a *catalyst* (sic tool) to destroying that relationship.
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