Talk About Marriage - Reply to Topic
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

Thread: My wife had an affair with my brother Reply to Thread
Title:
  
Message:
Trackback:
Send Trackbacks to (Separate multiple URLs with spaces) :
Post Icons
You may choose an icon for your message from the following list:
 

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

Topic Review (Newest First)
03-24-2009 03:29 AM
Tim
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnthonyS1980 View Post
Let me tell ya... during my marriage, my wife cheated on me 2 times, made out with a couple guys, and I forgave her. All of that stuff happened at least seven years ago, so I thought we survived the affair, and we were a stronger couple for it. I thought my relationship with my wife was special and we could get through anything if we just kept the lines of communication open.
About six months ago, she started making drastic improvements in her life: she started going to school, began a new job in her field of study, lost a ton of weight, got a new wardrobe, fixed her credit, and got a new car.
Finally! My wife was taking responsibility for her own life! I was so proud of her!

Well... guess what?

She decided she's no longer in love with me, she met somebody at her new job, slept with him, and now she says she's in love with him after only 2 dates. These changes she made were in preparation of abandoning the marriage.
So before this happens to you, decide to move on, get your life together, then dump her. Please let me live vicariously through you! PLEASE!
This is exactly how i feel. I'm stuck. We have a kid and a nice house. I love my lifestyle that is attached to this marriage but I dont love her. I hate her guts I think. I'm making more mistakes as i speak. Please, dump her cheating ass. Let people like Anthony and I feel some sort of redemption.
03-23-2009 11:56 AM
sunflower
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

Why is it always someone thats close?
03-16-2009 04:31 PM
Gooshy
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

you need to divorce with ur wife and move on. it will just keep happening over and over. sorry bud.. really sad to hear this.
03-16-2009 01:38 PM
SEH
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

I am sorry to hear about this unfortunate situation. I agree with what has been said here. Apparently to her the bows do not mean anything and it is time for you to move on. You deserve someone better that treats you with respect. She is disrespectful and selfish and her behaviour will continue.
03-07-2009 08:05 PM
TGolbus
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

Reguardless of what you decide you need to learn forgivness. You can forgive and still never speak to your brother. You can forgive and still divorce.
You are holding onto resentment and allowing it to still affect you (your brothers stupidity happened 6 years ago).
Forgivness is not condoning or forgetting. It is about not letting events in the past negatively the present.
Get the book - Forgivness for Good.
I have no other advice for you with your wife. Sounds like she isn't able to hold a course. You know what you know!!!!
03-06-2009 02:43 PM
Amplexor
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

Quote:
Originally Posted by anon99999 View Post
I think that is what I am going to have to do.
Keep your eyes and options open. Like the others have said her past behavior doesn't boad well. Good luck!!
03-06-2009 02:13 PM
sunflower
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

Ya I agree thats just not right I dont think you should stay she wont change and doesnt want to it sounds like.
03-06-2009 01:19 PM
Initfortheduration
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

Glad to hear you are keeping a clear head. Your move down south can be an excellent time to make the break. You know what you have to do. PREPARE. Your eyes are open and the blinders are off. She will cheat again. No one renews their vows only to turn around and screw two guys within four months, and is committed to anything but an orgasm. Separate finances. Make your plans. Get the kids. And dump the cheating skank.
03-05-2009 10:55 PM
AZMOMOFTWO
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnthonyS1980 View Post
Let me tell ya... during my marriage, my wife cheated on me 2 times, made out with a couple guys, and I forgave her. All of that stuff happened at least seven years ago, so I thought we survived the affair, and we were a stronger couple for it. I thought my relationship with my wife was special and we could get through anything if we just kept the lines of communication open.
About six months ago, she started making drastic improvements in her life: she started going to school, began a new job in her field of study, lost a ton of weight, got a new wardrobe, fixed her credit, and got a new car.
Finally! My wife was taking responsibility for her own life! I was so proud of her!

Well... guess what?

She decided she's no longer in love with me, she met somebody at her new job, slept with him, and now she says she's in love with him after only 2 dates. These changes she made were in preparation of abandoning the marriage.
So before this happens to you, decide to move on, get your life together, then dump her. Please let me live vicariously through you! PLEASE!
Oh wow! That's horrible...I'm really sorry. You know though you confirmed my worst fear. It was last summer I caught H having an affair through some emails he'd sent. He didn't admit to it, I caught him, he lied. I tried to confront him before about some signs I'd seen and he got angry told me I was being stupid...anyway we reconciled last summer. Things is...and people told me this too... he's not capable of running his business without me, no ability to manage money. He's brilliant in his work, but he's no good with money. So when the S*** hit the fan, did he suddenly think crap who's going to do all this and figured he'd better try to get me back At least until he learned how to manage his business on his own and finances better. He started asking me so he could learn but it didn't last. Made me wonder. I was thrilled, I'd love help in this area but can't get him to learn it..

Now when I first started thinking he may be having an affair it was me who worked out, got a new hair cut, lost weight, and made new friends and became independent in preparation for being alone I decided to take care of me. So I wonder if he decided he liked how I looked, and since other men were noticing he'd better do something..I don't know.

I think these doubts prevent me from letting my guard down but then I read something like this and think its good I don't let my guard down.

Sorry didn't mean to hijack this thread.
03-05-2009 10:10 PM
AnthonyS1980
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

Let me tell ya... during my marriage, my wife cheated on me 2 times, made out with a couple guys, and I forgave her. All of that stuff happened at least seven years ago, so I thought we survived the affair, and we were a stronger couple for it. I thought my relationship with my wife was special and we could get through anything if we just kept the lines of communication open.
About six months ago, she started making drastic improvements in her life: she started going to school, began a new job in her field of study, lost a ton of weight, got a new wardrobe, fixed her credit, and got a new car.
Finally! My wife was taking responsibility for her own life! I was so proud of her!

Well... guess what?

She decided she's no longer in love with me, she met somebody at her new job, slept with him, and now she says she's in love with him after only 2 dates. These changes she made were in preparation of abandoning the marriage.
So before this happens to you, decide to move on, get your life together, then dump her. Please let me live vicariously through you! PLEASE!
03-04-2009 03:29 PM
humpty dumpty
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

I do think you should talk to your brother , what he did was wrong but sometimes you can get closure by talking things through
03-04-2009 02:56 PM
sunflower
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

Quote:
Originally Posted by humpty dumpty View Post
my husband had a affair six years ago !! its taken me to very recently to move on and enjoy being with him again.
If he hurt me by having another affair i dont think i could be so forgiving.In fact i know id walk.
Id still love him and id still want to have him part of our childrens life but i know that i deserve to be supported emotionally and feel loved and valued to.

What your brother did was wrong ,he betrayed you to crossed the line !! how ever have you spoken to him about why and how it happened ?

you deserve so much more good luck
You let them back in and give them that second chance everone deserves a second chance but a 5th NO WAY they know they can do it and be forgivin. I dont know if that healthy for you.
03-04-2009 02:20 PM
humpty dumpty
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

my husband had a affair six years ago !! its taken me to very recently to move on and enjoy being with him again.
If he hurt me by having another affair i dont think i could be so forgiving.In fact i know id walk.
Id still love him and id still want to have him part of our childrens life but i know that i deserve to be supported emotionally and feel loved and valued to.

What your brother did was wrong ,he betrayed you to crossed the line !! how ever have you spoken to him about why and how it happened ?

you deserve so much more good luck
03-04-2009 01:53 PM
kate_spencer
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

Quote:
Originally Posted by anon99999 View Post
I have not spoken to my brother in over 5 years thanks to this mess. I can't bring myself to talk to him. My parents ask me every now and then if I have spoken with him recently and I tell them no, but I can't tell them why. It is embarrassing and I feel pretty foolish for not killing off this marriage 5 years ago and moving on. As for the other guys after the renewal I don't get it either...

Maybe it's really time now to move on.. they are all right. Once is enough, and two is too much. You should do something to end this, or it will continue if you just let her. You deserve someone better..
03-04-2009 01:43 PM
Initfortheduration
Re: My wife had an affair with my brother

Sometimes you can deal with the pain. And sometimes you can't. Your wife is a serial cheater. She will always be a serial cheater. Even if she never strayed again. You either have to accept what she has done and move forward with her. Or divorce her. She has not cheated again that you know of. But she will. If she cheated 3 months AFTER you renewed your vows, there is nothing meaningful to her regarding your marriage. She may love you and the kids. But she comes from a completely different moral base then you. Her morality basically allows her to cheat on you with no conscience or concern for the pain she has or will inflict upon you. With her history, you literally have to have no expectation of fidelity. If you can live like that. That is your choice.
This thread has more than 15 replies. Click here to review the whole thread.

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:01 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.