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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Topic Review (Newest First)
02-21-2012 09:07 AM
vickyyy
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JTL View Post
Your grasp on the english language is shaky. I'm fine with people disagreeing with me (yourself included), but you have not brought any information or first hand knowledge to this discussion. I'm certainly not running away from anything. Especially from someone whom deems me morally corrupt because of any lifestyle choice my wife and i have made. Your main argument and objection to threesomes/swinging etc, comes out of a strict religious belief. We do not share that belief. As such, we have not broken any principles or moral laws between us. We do have many principles and morals we adhere to. They may be different from yours. That's ok. I fully respect your position based on faith/religion, etc. Why is it never the other way around though? Is it not ok that other people live their lives the way they see fit? For themselves and their family alone? Why should i have to agree with your belief structure? And the comment on the "partner" of the person we had the threesome with-they don't exist. The person we had a threesome with is single (and clean and safe). We have not put anyone at risk, including ourselves. Again, this isn't your concern. You say you're not a coward? Answer this-Why are you so afraid of other people engaging in activities that you don't agree with? That you have no first hand knowledge of?
First thing, i dont expect u to agree with me.
but, people like u making the mockery of the marriage in public forum is not acceptable.
One more thing, i think other men lied to u about their relationships.If any man is getting a chance to bang a wh*** free of cost then of course he will lie .
You better keep a close watch on your wife, who knows she may be banging other men behind your back.
02-19-2012 05:58 PM
JTL
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by vickyyy View Post
love must be tough, otherwise your partner will take you for granted. these threesome folks dont have mind to understand this.
I actually agree with most of what you've posted to Kelsie. I would like you to expand on this comment though. What do you mean by "love must be tough"? And while we have engaged in a few alternate activities, we do not consider ourselves swingers/threesome people. We're a happily married couple who have had 5 such events in about 8 years.
02-19-2012 05:52 PM
JTL
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by vickyyy View Post
You do not wish to hear posts agreeing or disagreeing with you well itís a public forum people can comment if they do not agree with you .If you do not like this, well you can request moderator to ban me .i am not afraid of this because I know what I am saying is truth and for some people hearing truth is very painful.
Time can change you and your perspective on things.yes I accept this but it does not mean that we should break the principles we set in our life instead of fighting for it.if we do then what is the meaning of life without principles.
Okay you are confortable with level of safety regarding STDs but what about the spouse of third partner you are putting at risk and their children.but who cares our enjoyment is sole important huh.
How easy to say that u being good husband or not little to do with this subject.what a great way of running away from owning a sh*t. If you create it then why r u afraid of owning it.
And a last thing u telling me angry zealot in abortion clinic or whatever yes u can tell me because I am not coward and not afraid of being judged because I know I am not doing anything wrong or did any wrong thing in my life.
have a great day to u too.
Your grasp on the english language is shaky. I'm fine with people disagreeing with me (yourself included), but you have not brought any information or first hand knowledge to this discussion. I'm certainly not running away from anything. Especially from someone whom deems me morally corrupt because of any lifestyle choice my wife and i have made. Your main argument and objection to threesomes/swinging etc, comes out of a strict religious belief. We do not share that belief. As such, we have not broken any principles or moral laws between us. We do have many principles and morals we adhere to. They may be different from yours. That's ok. I fully respect your position based on faith/religion, etc. Why is it never the other way around though? Is it not ok that other people live their lives the way they see fit? For themselves and their family alone? Why should i have to agree with your belief structure? And the comment on the "partner" of the person we had the threesome with-they don't exist. The person we had a threesome with is single (and clean and safe). We have not put anyone at risk, including ourselves. Again, this isn't your concern. You say you're not a coward? Answer this-Why are you so afraid of other people engaging in activities that you don't agree with? That you have no first hand knowledge of?
02-19-2012 02:21 PM
kelsie24
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine602 View Post
Why continue in this misery? It will not change and is likely to get worse. He likes threesomes and you don't. He does not care that it hurts you. It sounds as if he sees you as a sex object he can use.

How is your self esteem? How is your sense of dignity and self-preservation? He is highly likely to cheat and cheat again. Do you want to expose yourself to disease and emotional damage? He is not staying with you out of love but because he knows he will not find another woman who would allow herself to be used as a sex object. He won the lottery big time..

Get yourself away and let him search for a replacement. He will be chasing his d!ck around until it stops working. By that time he may regret his warped view of women.
Posted via Mobile Device

I don't have a good self-image, I've always had low self esteem and depression. I had an ex who was abusive and manipulative. I have been raped twice. Maybe this could be why I let people walk all over me?
02-19-2012 12:42 PM
Catherine602
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnnycomelately View Post
Well, the OP is long gone. Probably enjoying a hot threesome while we bicker. Hahaha.

Fine, state your opinion, but you can't tell other people their marriage isn't real. Oranges aren't the only fruit.
You wish. Ha ha
Posted via Mobile Device
02-19-2012 12:37 PM
johnnycomelately
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine602 View Post
Break it off and let him search for a replacement. He will be chasing his d!ck around until it stops working. By that time he may regret his warped view of women.
Posted via Mobile Device
Love it when you talk that way Catherine.
02-19-2012 12:33 PM
Catherine602
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelsie24 View Post
I think it is a bad idea. This is coming from someone who has experienced it. My husband and I have a couple of them, and it's just not worth it. He has tried to hook up with the girls we have had sex with. He has gone behind my back to do so. All he thinks about are threesomes.....it has left our intimate life a mess.
Why continue in this misery? It will not change and is likely to get worse. He likes threesomes and you don't. He does not care that it hurts you. It sounds as if he sees you as a sex object he can use.

How is your self esteem? How is your sense of dignity and self-preservation? He is highly likely to cheat and cheat again. Do you want to expose yourself to disease and emotional damage? He is not staying with you out of love but because he knows he will not find another woman who would allow herself to be used as a sex object. He won the lottery big time..

Get yourself away and let him search for a replacement. He will be chasing his d!ck around until it stops working. By that time he may regret his warped view of women.
Posted via Mobile Device
02-19-2012 12:27 PM
vickyyy
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kelsie24 View Post
Thank you. To be honest I never wanted to have a threesome, but he kept pushing me into it. Talking to other girls and trying to get them to do things with me, getting us drunk and instigating it. I believe marriage is sacred.....he just seems to think its another relationship. He doesn't seem to take my pain seriously and that he did anything wrong. It is a lose-lose situation.

love must be tough, otherwise your partner will take you for granted. these threesome folks dont have mind to understand this.
02-19-2012 12:12 PM
Beowulf
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnnycomelately View Post
Well, the OP is long gone. Probably enjoying a hot threesome while we bicker. Hahaha.

Fine, state your opinion, but you can't tell other people their marriage isn't real. Oranges aren't the only fruit.
No. But rotten fruit usually smells pretty bad and usually isn't suitable for eating.

And thank you for allowing me to state my opinion.
02-19-2012 12:11 PM
Beowulf
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by vickyyy View Post
I am sorry for what u r going through.Your husband is showing total disrespect to you.You really need to have serious talk with him.If he is not ready to commit to you then dont waste your life with such a man.If you dont have any kids then just exit this marriage.
Vickyyy is right. Pushing something like this on you is disrespectful. You are entitled to have your boundaries. Would your husband appreciate it if you decided to have sex with another man? Would he appreciate it if you decided to have another man's child? Would that break his boundaries? We all have boundaries. You need to make sure he understands what your boundaries are and if he can't respect them then you aren't going to have a very good relationship going forward.
02-19-2012 12:09 PM
johnnycomelately
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beowulf View Post
I don't live in Russia or China. I can't impose my will on other people but I can most assuredly state my opinion. And that is what the OP asked for is it not?
Well, the OP is long gone. Probably enjoying a hot threesome while we bicker. Hahaha.

Fine, state your opinion, but you can't tell other people their marriage isn't real. Oranges aren't the only fruit.
02-19-2012 12:08 PM
NaturalHeart
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kelsie24 View Post
Thank you. To be honest I never wanted to have a threesome, but he kept pushing me into it. Talking to other girls and trying to get them to do things with me, getting us drunk and instigating it. I believe marriage is sacred.....he just seems to think its another relationship. He doesn't seem to take my pain seriously and that he did anything wrong. It is a lose-lose situation.

He sounds really selfish. He talks you into giving in then he tries to get with them behind your back. You have to love yourself more to be able to walk away from that type of manipulation. That type of manipulation is the worse kind because of the position in puts you in. Do you plan on staying in this marriage?

I don't know how your self esteem is or what this has done to your self esteem but you can't be happy knowing he has no boundaries in your marriage. He should have stayed a bachelor. Some men just are really the bachelor at heart type guys.

I have girlfriends and guyfriends that I'm close to since grade school. They will tell me things that they wouldn't tell anyone else because they want to hear my advice OR they trust that I won't repeat it. I have two guy friends that are married and just seem to be so FREAKY. They are married and both their wives try to put it down in the bedroom because they know how they are but it doesn't matter what the wife does, they engage in very selfish i, me, my needs type behavior. Just never satisfied. Some men should just stay bachelors and not marry.
02-19-2012 12:02 PM
vickyyy
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kelsie24 View Post
Thank you. To be honest I never wanted to have a threesome, but he kept pushing me into it. Talking to other girls and trying to get them to do things with me, getting us drunk and instigating it. I believe marriage is sacred.....he just seems to think its another relationship. He doesn't seem to take my pain seriously and that he did anything wrong. It is a lose-lose situation.
I am sorry for what u r going through.Your husband is showing total disrespect to you.You really need to have serious talk with him.If he is not ready to commit to you then dont waste your life with such a man.If you dont have any kids then just exit this marriage.
02-19-2012 11:59 AM
Beowulf
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnnycomelately View Post
So you have stated that it is not a marriage and we all have to accept that? Could you let us know what qualifies you to define what is a 'true' marriage?

Is somebody else having a different definition of marriage and finding happiness in a way that you wouldn't some kind of threat to you?

I'm not into threesomes and I am not encouraging anybody to do anything, but none of us has the right to state that our definition of marriage is the only one, that our way is the only way, that we are right and everybody else is wrong. That is what I object to, nothing else.
Of course I have the right to state what marriage is. Of course my definition is the only one. Of course my way is the only way. Of course I am right and everyone else is wrong. For me. You don't have to accept anything I say. Nor did I ask you to. As to what I believe marriage is..I believe marriage is a union of two people who love each other and want to commit to each other for life. I think my definition if marriage is pretty simple to understand. Not that I care if you do understand or if you even care.

What are my qualifications in order to be able to define marriage? Well, I exist, I have my own ideas, opinions and thoughts. And I am married. That's all the qualifications I need. And even if I weren't married I would still have the right to define marriage for myself. I don't ask you to define it for me nor do I care if you accept my definition of marriage.

I don't live in Russia or China. I can't impose my will on other people but I can most assuredly state my opinion. And that is what the OP asked for is it not?
02-19-2012 11:41 AM
kelsie24
Re: Three sum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by shaylady View Post
I am so sorry. I think that is why some people just won't take a chance going there because how can you just go back to having a normal one on one relationship after such a huge risk? I thought that most women that gave in to this felt like they had to or they would lose their husband by being cheated on or abandoned. It seems that either way you lose because the person is still not satisfied after you allow someone in your bed. They still want intimacy with someone else..... and the end result is the couple now see other people they are attracted to but justify the attraction and sexual affair because they are use to crossing the line- so if they are caught or found out, they may be confident that it won't end the marriage because the LINES HAVE BEEN CROSSED many times before.


Thank you. To be honest I never wanted to have a threesome, but he kept pushing me into it. Talking to other girls and trying to get them to do things with me, getting us drunk and instigating it. I believe marriage is sacred.....he just seems to think its another relationship. He doesn't seem to take my pain seriously and that he did anything wrong. It is a lose-lose situation.
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