08-20-2010, 07:12 AM
Join Date: Aug 2010
| | Re: My wife is depressed and blames me
Not good is all I can say. The problem with many mid generation women in Japan raised on the bank of mum and dad is that they expect to have the life of a princess. She would have watched movies of western guys falling in love with Japanese women and living happily ever after. The thing is that we dont all earn millions of $ and live the high life. What you find with japanese women like this is that the father in the family is usualy very controlling, usually a heavy drinker and very pre 1900 in his attitude to a womens role. Unfortuntaley for her she is the commodity of japans 1970 baby boom. The men worked hard, drink til midnight and the women would often be left alone with the child all day every day. What happens here is that the mother then gives all 100% attention to that child. Unfortunatley that child finds its hard to adjust to real life, ie household chores, cleaning and laundry. Whilst what she is doing is unfair, its also black mail, has she ever blamed you for not having enough money to buy here all the good things, Japanese women are very materialistic and due to the supression of being able to develop and mature back to my previous point I would say that she is blaming you in a unfair manner. You need to tell her that it stops here right now, do you have a pal you can stay with, go out and get drunk behave like a agorant man and she will soon realise that what she has is worth being happy about, if she threatens to leave or whatever then just tell her fine leave then.
The one thing japanese women cant cope with is playing them at their own game. Also one thing I noted here does she not work, can she go out and work even at 7/11 or something it might help her to gain some more confidence and take the stress of you.
I had a very similair experience to this with my wife she demanded everything and when the monies run out its not pretty, she even stated one time that because of me she would have to go and become a prositute, I laughed and said well a womens got to do what a womens got to do. Not that being a prositute is acceptable form of work but its down to maturity of being able to hack a life that sometimes is great and sometimes can be hell. The problem here i think is that most japanese women in the age range of 20-40 have been spoilt rotten and not really had to adjust to the reality called life.
You have to stand up to this women and say to here shape up or ship out. Your a young marine who would get snapped up in a second out on the town in Tokyo so dont let this womens abbarasive negativity and selfish manner pull you down. Its ok somethime to say " you know what this isnt working, I want some time away" she may go back to her moms house and cry lots for 2 weeks but then Mom will get fed up and so will papasan he will tell.
Most japanese women dont realise what they have , they should be gratefull for.
Best of luck, just dont let her bully you into thinking its your fault its not, you work hard. If your looking after the kids without a break and doing a long shift she needs to contribute financially ie get a job.
Best of luck.