04-22-2011, 08:46 AM
Join Date: Apr 2011
| | Re: My horrible insecurities, please help!
Ive had this same problem for 3 years. My poor husband
He is perfect to me. AND I KNOW THAT! Anyhow, it ruined our marriage ( we are still together and happy as every now) But it took ME 3 years to realize that if I didn't CHANGE quick, he was gonna get so sick of me and leave... or perhaps find someone else who didn't have these problems. This is what made me snap. Guys (especially) ones that are good no cheating, etc can't handle the insecurity's. Not trying to harsh, just trying to help, but you need to realize that if you continue this its not only going to make you depressed, and go crazy but him as well, and eventually he is going to detach himself from you emotionally and change as a husband, things will get hard and unhappy, and perhaps he could start to want to leave and find a someone else who doesn't have these problems. All this is coming from my own experience. Although my husband never left or found someone else. He did leave emotionally, detached, treated me differently, and became misreble. If you love him you will change. Forums like this helped me, googling "ways to become secure in marriage, medication, even, counsling, talking with my husband and laying it out that I have this problem and it has nothing to do with him that its my own insecurities and if he could help me. Talking with friends, loved ones about the situation, and mostly gaining confidence in yourself. Realizing that your husband TRULY loves you and he married you for a reason, right? He wants YOU and nobody else. You are beautiful to him and your his wife his #1. Start thinking that way and force these negative thoughts away and replace them with positive thoughts its hard to do but eventually it will get easier and they will go away. If he does something to hurt you, worry about it then, not now because he hasn't giving you a reason to and you are just hurting yourself [and him] doing so. It takes time to heal but you will if you "force" yourself that is what i'm working on... and our marriage is GREAT! good look