lam4391

Ive had this same problem for 3 years. My poor husband He is perfect to me. AND I KNOW THAT! Anyhow, it ruined our marriage ( we are still together and happy as every now) But it took ME 3 years to realize that if I didn't CHANGE quick, he was gonna get so sick of me and leave... or perhaps find someone else who didn't have these problems. This is what made me snap. Guys (especially) ones that are good no cheating, etc can't handle the insecurity's. Not trying to harsh, just trying to help, but you need to realize that if you continue this its not only going to make you depressed, and go crazy but him as well, and eventually he is going to detach himself from you emotionally and change as a husband, things will get hard and unhappy, and perhaps he could start to want to leave and find a someone else who doesn't have these problems. All this is coming from my own experience. Although my husband never left or found someone else. He did leave emotionally, detached, treated me differently, and became misreble. If you love him you will change. Forums like this helped me, googling "ways to become secure in marriage, medication, even, counsling, talking with my husband and laying it out that I have this problem and it has nothing to do with him that its my own insecurities and if he could help me. Talking with friends, loved ones about the situation, and mostly gaining confidence in yourself. Realizing that your husband TRULY loves you and he married you for a reason, right? He wants YOU and nobody else. You are beautiful to him and your his wife his #1. Start thinking that way and force these negative thoughts away and replace them with positive thoughts its hard to do but eventually it will get easier and they will go away. If he does something to hurt you, worry about it then, not now because he hasn't giving you a reason to and you are just hurting yourself [and him] doing so. It takes time to heal but you will if you "force" yourself that is what i'm working on... and our marriage is GREAT! good look

lam4391

For every negative thought, think of 3 positive thoughts,, Ex: My husband wants someone else and not me.. 1. he married me for a reason 2. He tells me he loves me everyday etc 3. go give him a big hug and kiss and say I love you and his reaction will make you feel better. Think of ways he "loves" you and how good he is to you..

sisterk

It was great reading about what other people aredealing with in regards to insecurities. As i know in my relationship I to feel insecure about my marriage and only because he too has done a few things that question my trust in him. He never cheated but was sneaky in a few things that really made me question his trust. He has made efforts to make me happy but i guess i want him to be happy about his choices too. There i should just appreciate his efforts and stop feeling blue. But if all this drama didnt unfold then i would not be feeling this way. I realized that I being a jerk I guess i can mildly say, lol , by when he would go out with his friends i would make him feel bad. Oh such bad things. I am trying to be nicer and much more understanding of his needs. I truly love him and will do anything to improve my well being and not seem like a weirdo. I just wish life could be easier and happier but with 6 kids and full time jobs im glad we are still hanging in there. Good luck to anyone else who feels this way. It truly is upsetting to read about yourself and realize u need to change your ways. I will just remind myself that yes he chose me and tells me he loves me all the time and that ireally shouldnt second guess it!!!!!!!!