Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other! - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Physical & Mental Health Issues Marriage and relationships are difficult by themselves, but coping with physical or mental health problems can make things even more difficult.

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post #31 of 82 (permalink) Old 10-29-2013, 06:41 AM
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

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At this pount, you're just speculating. Gushing over a sibling is hardly enough evidence.

Are either of them seeing other people?
I love my brother very much, actually I love him more, pretty much, than any person on this planet. We have always been the best of friends, love doing things together, however, that does not mean we are engaged in a sexual relationship.

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post #32 of 82 (permalink) Old 10-29-2013, 09:56 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

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At this pount, you're just speculating. Gushing over a sibling is hardly enough evidence.

Are either of them seeing other people?
No, people have tried to set up both of them for many years according to my wife and they want no part of it. And again you would have to actually see how "googly" they act towards each other in person to understand, and my wife has known them for about 25 years and has noticed the weird changes way more than anyone else(when I met them they were already living together and being gaga for each other).

At our wedding they both came together and with the way they were dancing close and wandering around side by side, we had a few people say how happy they were that she had finally found a nice man(not knowing that was her brother).

Last edited by Wing Man; 10-29-2013 at 10:01 AM.
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post #33 of 82 (permalink) Old 10-30-2013, 11:07 PM
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

we had a few people say how happy they were that she had finally found a nice man(not knowing that was her brother).

Really?
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post #34 of 82 (permalink) Old 10-30-2013, 11:48 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

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we had a few people say how happy they were that she had finally found a nice man(not knowing that was her brother).

Really?
Yep, people that casually knew her but had never met her brother and were making an assumption.
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post #35 of 82 (permalink) Old 10-31-2013, 10:05 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

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If it is true you don't want to remain friends. If it is not true, they deserve better friends. Either way you should leave them alone and let them get on with their lives without your unsubstantiated judgements.
I think we're all allowed to judge anyone that we hang around with if we feel it directly effects us or makes us uncomfortable, and then make what we think is the appropriate decision about it. And I don't need or appreciate your lil snippy overtones about it either.
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post #36 of 82 (permalink) Old 11-01-2013, 09:40 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

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I agree that you are allowed to consider these things, but you haven't seen anything and she hasn't said anything that shows there is a sexual relationship between her and her brother. I apologise if I came across as 'snippy', I think this was something I found hard to stomach as I am very close to my brother and if we lived in the same city we could easily have chosen to live like this. We do not fancy each other at all! When we go out people often assume we are a couple, which makes us all laugh when we tell them we're siblings. We always talk highly of each other and everyone knows we love each other a lot. It would really upset me if someone suggested there was anything inappropriate going on between us, especially someone who knew we were siblings.
But do you rub each other's feet or clip each other's toenails like they do(which they have admitted to), or make "dreamy" eyes whenever you talk about something your brother did? And it's not like we're the only ones who think this about them either, because a few others have thought the same thing based on their odd behaviors towards one another.
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post #37 of 82 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 12:33 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

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I was my brother's full-time carer for months after he had a serious accident because I was the only person he didn't feel uncomfortable with looking after him in such a personal way. His then girlfriend moved out because she did not want the responsibility of it all and me and my daughter moved in for that time.

If I was visiting him now and I said my feet hurt and he said he does a great foot massage, I'd let him. We are just siblings who are not that inhibited to give each other a hug when we are sad and we do say 'I love you' and we look out for each other. There is nothing sexual about it and if we were sisters not brother and sister I don't think anyone would even consider it unusual. My sister and I have given each other loads of massages etc and that wasn't sexual either. In my mind sibling relationships are asexual.

Maybe we are closer than most siblings because we had a rough upbringing and watched out for each other a lot. It could also be because we trust each other with privacy and boundaries very well as we lived in a small house and had to share a room until he was 16 and I was 18, so we had to give privacy and be respectful to each other for our whole childhood. I don't know, and I don't know about the siblings you are talking about, but I do know that there is nothing sexual between me and my brother.
Again I have 4 sisters and I am close to 3 of them ever since we were kids and we all stay in touch constantly, but at no point and time have I desired to massage any of their gross feet nor would they feel right asking me to. And we never make googly eyes when we talk about each other to other people.
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post #38 of 82 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 01:03 AM
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Again I have 4 sisters and I am close to 3 of them ever since we were kids and we all stay in touch constantly, but at no point and time have I desired to massage any of their gross feet nor would they feel right asking me to. And we never make googly eyes when we talk about each other to other people.
Every family is different, sometimes even the culture dictates how affectionate a family is. My dad's side was much colder, my grandma would hand shake us, later she progressed to a pat in the back. My moms side is way too affectionate, we even got our pimples popped talk about no boundries. They are very affectionate even between sibling and cousins. One time I asked my dad my my mom and aunt why they were "kissing and hugging" a man in the street, it was their cousin. I found it odd as I had never seen him. And here were to grown women hugging and kissing and kissing and hugging a man on the street.
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post #39 of 82 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 03:54 AM
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

As long as no offspring are produced I suppose its okay. I would not be able to socialize with them without feeling awkward constantly.
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post #40 of 82 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

My wife said she is waaaay too embarrassed to ask her about the truth between them, and if she is wrong it would completely destroy the friend's relationship they've had for 25 years so for now we'll just keep on.......avoiding them.

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post #41 of 82 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 01:30 PM
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

Most likely they wouldn't give the truth either.

Your solution is good. Like any other friend, if something in their personality makes you uncomfortable, it's good to end or cool off the friendship.

I had one thought you may know the answer to if you and wife know the entire family of the brother and sister. Can you rule out if they are step-siblings? That would shed an entirely different light on the relationship if they are not blood related.

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post #42 of 82 (permalink) Old 11-03-2013, 12:08 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

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Most likely they wouldn't give the truth either.

Your solution is good. Like any other friend, if something in their personality makes you uncomfortable, it's good to end or cool off the friendship.

I had one thought you may know the answer to if you and wife know the entire family of the brother and sister. Can you rule out if they are step-siblings? That would shed an entirely different light on the relationship if they are not blood related.
Nope, same mother and same father but he passed away about 10 years ago.
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post #43 of 82 (permalink) Old 11-05-2013, 07:10 AM
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

cry every time she sees them or thinks about it, so that's why I am getting her to simply cut all ties.
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post #44 of 82 (permalink) Old 11-05-2013, 11:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

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cry every time she sees them or thinks about it, so that's why I am getting her to simply cut all ties.

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post #45 of 82 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 09:19 AM
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Re: Siblings that are possibly "involved" with each other!

I think the reality here is that you have observed a pattern over the years and your wife feels the same.
I had a friend in a similar situation (mid 30's). They had lost contact in their early teenage years and reconnected about 20 years later. It came to light after a falling out between the sister and her best friend, she never denied it and they moved away. Last I saw her was on FaceBook.

But your suspicion (and your wives) are for a reason. I would recommend you distance yourself (even if your wife refuses to, you can't force her since they are her friends). Maybe if you do that, slowly it will steer you both in the right direction.

Needless to say, only on the internet will anyone try to justify incest if it's not hurting anyone.....excuse me?? I'm sorry but hello no incest is WRONG WRONG WRONG and in no way comparable to being gay. Two different things! There is no argument to justify incest. I'm sorry but HELL TO THE NO!

Last edited by aston; 11-06-2013 at 09:33 AM.
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