Re: He hates himself more than he loves me
I am glad he is getting medical help. Be sure to share how you feel with his doctor. His feelings and actions may be connected to his condition.
From what you wrote, it sounds like he may be playing the "push her away to make her come after me" game. For example, he might say "I don't deserve you" just to hear you say "Yes you do." It is just a way of seeking out the extra support he may need during an especially difficult time.
An extreme example are people who threaten to commit suicide, just "for the attention". Maybe his version of extreme action is threatening divorce.
You can choose to react to this behavior by giving unconditional love and support, but by not encouraging it with overdramatics. Hopefully things will improve after the doctor visit.