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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 04-23-2010, 02:27 PM Thread Starter
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wife loves someone else

I am married 41. my wife 36. three children. we were spending goof life. no financial crunch. my wife took admission in a technical course last year. she fell in love with a guy there about 40 - 42. i became suspecious when I observed when the technical couse was over there were a number of sms bells on my wife phone. I checked it a few days back and shocked that a long conversation through sms was on for last 3 to 4 months. now the guys was asking her in between the lines about him slef i.e. what she feels about him. he aksed about her number of children and daily routine. my wife was responding. one day he asked either she is love with him. all in between the lines. when I took it up and asked from my wife if what was ths she told me that yes it is happening. she is not at all in love but likes to receive and respond sms on cell phone. she had tele talk with him as well. she told that yes she likes him. the guy likes horse riding, shooting smokes cigar no cigrattes that my wife told me. i on the otherhand is a professional accountant working from 8 o'clock till 7 in evening. apprarently we are having good relationship good sex everything good. i love my wife very much. she alos likes me. but from day one i have feeling that though she respects me and does every favor to me but does not oks me from the depth of her heart. she likes to protect her house and thats why she accepts my authority. recently i had a big financial loss. i almost lost every penny of my saving even my house wherein we live has also been sold out to clear overdue debts. she said that she has a great shock that our house has been sold out. it was when we were planning for immigration and she took admission in the abovesaid course when all this love scene started.
after hearing that she is enjoying this new relationship, I did not discourage her to terminate the relationship with the guy but even encourgse her that she must keep it on as due to this i have found a real women in her who likes to love and sence of sex. i did this because i could not say to her to terminate this relationship as i think she is now enjoying it.
can someone advise me what i did is right and what will happen in near future with my open liberty for her. i am very upset but whenever i am with her i say that i have great cofidence in her and that she must carryon this relationship. in fact i am so upset and feel that i have been neglected and rejected but i in view of the above situation finds no power to control this. i know if i say to her to terminate this at once she will. But I do not want to upset her as i see that she is very very happy these days. I love my wife but do not know how to come out of this. I do not know where this will go ultimately. can somebody help me.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-05-2010, 12:26 PM
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Re: wife loves someone else

In case you didn't know, you have enacted an Open Marriage: "Open marriage typically refers to a marriage in which the partners agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without this being regarded as infidelity. There are many different styles of open marriage, with the partners having varying levels of input on their spouse's activities." At this point in time she is not having sex with this person but if she is attracted to him, and you gave her the right to see him, you better believe she will begin a sexual relationship. If you can handle the thought of your wife having sex with another man, I guess you made the right decision. Just so you know what an open marriage might feel like, check out the following:

Diana Melly: I have an open marriage but there are limits, Jude - Commentators, Opinion - The Independent

The Truth About Open Marriage

Open Marriage: One Woman's Experience

I am in an open marriage My husband and I have bee | Love Confessions & Secrets

You already seem to have issues with the thought of your wife talking to another man, so... as her relationship progresses, either she will start to sleep with him and neglect you at home, or she'll leave all together.

My own personal opinion? Leave the ******* to her new homebreaking boyfriend and find yourself someone that loves you completely for who you are and doesn't need others to make her happy.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 06-24-2010, 12:34 AM
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Re: wife loves someone else

totally agree with arkat17. you need to put a stop to her talking to that dude unless you want to be cuckold. she may have lost all respect for you for losing the house and etc. but obviously, she's looking for a new sugar daddy.
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