Re: husband makes me feel insignificant
I have been to see a counsellor once in our first year of marriage, then I kept persuading him for us to go together. I have asked him to read the Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars book. He would turn around and tell me I should follow everything that's said but he won't read about the women's section.
He refused for us to seek counselling together because he doesn't think he has any problem at all.
Now he wants to see a counsellor on his own as he thinks I'm the one upsetting him all this time. For all this time we've been together I've tried to cook his favourite dishes, ironed his clothes. I am a frugal person and saved money since I started working. I bought him a Wii to lose weight.
He never cooked for me, always for himself. The clothes I spent hours ironing, he would throw them on the bed, "unintentionally" creasing them.
I can't really talk to him in the day time, because he said he "forgot" to brush his teeth.
When he goes out to meet his friend, he would shave, shower and perfumed.
I have turned into a monster, because initially I have talked very nicely, politely and calmly to him please do this, don't that because they are not unhygenic or they are not healthy for you. Then after a year, I just can't being his mother, talk to him as if he was a baby, I started shouting at him, and that I'm sick I have to remind him so many times. He always loses his wallet, car keys, and other important documents. He thinks it's alright and that I am nice to turn the whole house over to look for them. But everytime, especially the car keys, I have to look in the fridge, the freezer, behind the couch, cupboard, wardrobe, mattress, bed, the bins, for hours and hours each and everytime. His mother does that for him, she doesn't mind but I seriously do. Imagine all the tidying later.
My family has long forsaken me. She abused me badly since I was a kid, because she blames me for her broken marriage when I was a baby to my father.
Am I being petty or abnormal? We haven't a baby yet. Or should I talk to him gently as his mother does to him although he's nearly 40?
I have done a lot in the house, but in the end, he kept saying this is HIS house.
Love has turned into resentment for me now. He doesn't care, and slowly I don't think I do as well.
I'm sick, he would say I'm not sick, all I need is sleep and rest.
I'm sad, he would say I'm not sad, things will pass.
I'm angry, he would say don't be angry. He won't even acknowledge or discuss about it.
I told him I'm not happy, he would say he isn't happy as well because of me.
I have told him if he's so tight about buying things for me, I am very happy if he plucks some flowers from the garden for me.