hit my breaking point... I need help!
I need help... I am only 24 years old and have already been through a lot in my life. I grew up with an abusive father and loving mother, my little sister attempted suicide twice and was in and out of mental hospitals, my older sister has severe add, so I was the responsible one helping whenever I could and holding my mom together when she was going through the divorce. I was in several relationships where I felt used and no one ever treated me like a girlfriend just some object. I had my heart broken by one of my boyfriends and my father. My realationship with my father has gotten a lot better he has changed a lot, but he still doesn't accept how he used to be it's like it was erased from his mind. I got married almost 4 years ago, to a man I really love. My younger sister went through her last mental hospital visit 2 1/2 years ago, and is now married herself. A year ago we moved away from my family to a warmer place, florida! While I love the beach and don't miss utah weather, I miss my family tremendously! We are also living with my in laws. Which is extremely hard, my husband and I basically take care of his brother and sister 14 and 17. I work full time in a childcare center that is very stressful due to their no consequences rule. My husband hasn't really been able to find a stable job since we have been married and most of the marriage I have been the provider (Not the whole marriage). On top of that stress, I share a car with my husband that I can't drive because I can't drive a stick shift. I've tried to learn for years and I'm awful at it. Due to our extremely low income, We can't buy another car or a replacement at the time and it is very frustrating having to wait to go places or find another way. Recently it's gotten worse because my grandfather passed away about 4 months ago. Then last week my best friend (only 24 years old and a mother) passed away as well. I wasn't able to go to either of the funerals and that has been hard on me. My younger sister also has Aleopica Areta and loses her hair every few years. This last Wednesday she started losing hair and by yesterday it's all gone. Also both my grandmothers are going through Chemo. I hate not being able to be around my family when I feel they need me most and I need them. I feel alone and I need comfort and my husband just doesn't get it. I need him to comfort me and he doesn't. Maybe I just expect too much from him but I have hit my breaking point and don't know what to do. I want to be happy again. I want to move closer to my family I need help!!!!