I have been married 12 yrs and for the past 4 yrs I have not been the best wife for my husband.
I kept myself busy with our daughter (11 yrs old) school, sports and basically anything else that involved our daughter. I did not realize that I was not paying attention to my husband. Until Dec. 6, 2010 when he was admitted into the hospital for a toe infection and was diagnosied with diabetes. His stay in the hospital was for 5 days and in those days I found out that my husband was not going to work at night like he said but going out with his friends. I know look back and all the signs are there, it's scary because I think it might be too late to save this marriage.
I want to save my marriage so I promised myself that I would try to be a better wife. I tell my husband that I love him everyday and that I want to work on our marriage. He says he too wants our marriage to work out becaue he loves me but time has passed and he has become a diiferent man than the one I married. He said that I need to give him time and space to come around and that he cannot change over night.
In that time of the 4 yrs he made alot of new friends and started to watch porn and this is were the trust issue comes in. I feel that he prefers to hang out with the friends then to hang out with our daughter and myself. I get these anxiety moments when he does not answer his phone or when he stays out late with the friends.
So many things start going thru my head that I cannot think straight. I don't know how to let things be and trust him. He tells me he will never leave or cheat on me and that when we married is was forever. He tells me if he wanted to be with someone else he would not be by my side. That I need to trust him and be happy.
I need to know what to do to get this feeling of anxiety out of me. I questioned & check everyone that calls him and I'm always asking him where he is or what he did. I have started going to therapy with my daughter as I have seen my behavior and the fights I have with my husband (her dad) are starting to effect her in a way that she believe he and I will divorce.
Can anyone of you explain to me what happen to me. Why I am acting this way? I used trust him and to tell you the truth did not care about his friends but now seems over night I have become this nagging, snooping and overly protective wife.
He tells me that he feels trapped because he cannot do anything withiur me questioning his actions. I want him to start marriage counseling but he says that I first need to work on me and them we can ork on us.
Any comment good or bad will be greatly appreciated.